welcome to middle-earth

photo © Asni
It is dusk on a perfect evening in late summer, a full orange moon is rising, and we are leaving the confines of Lord Stirling Stable, heading down a broad grassy path, past the outdoor riding rings, towards the trail system at the far edge of the property. It’s getting darker by the minute.

The night is balmy, the humidity is down and so are the bugs, except for a couple of “bombers,” the huge flies which like to plague both horses and riders. We have our orders: let them land on your horse, smack them with a flat palm, and then, if possible, squish them -- luckily, only our instructor executes that maneuver! We turn our attention to the bats which flitter above us. A screech owl calls from the distance and rabbits stop frozen in their tracks.

We shift our weight forward to make it easier for the horses to climb the steep hill which leads up into the trees. As we enter, I am surprised that we can see anything at all inside – am I still in New Jersey? My eyes adjust and suddenly transported, I find myself in a fern-carpeted forest – majestic, yet intimate. The horses seem content but not overly-impressed – after all it’s not their first trail ride.

We approach a tangle of trees, following our instructor as she weaves through them – a rustic obstacle course. My horse trips, stumbles deeply, but regains his balance. As a slight squeak of surprise escapes my lips, the teacher reminds us that we must always keep our eyes up on the trail, shining out like car headlights on high-beam. And we must keep our awareness of our center low and close to the horse.

Lord Stirling Park borders The Great Swamp, a 7,500 acre wildlife preserve. Our instructor makes sure to let us know that we are approaching the area known as the hiding place of the Devil of the Great Swamp, and some of the younger set of riders express an uncharacteristic hesitation to continue on -- usually they want to do nothing but canter like mad around the inside arena. However, soon we are trotting, up the trail, through the dark, ducking the low-hanging branches and marveling at ourselves -- at least I am! And I am incredibly relaxed despite it all.

Riding a horse out in nature – somehow this feels just perfect. Then I realize it is also distantly familiar, reminiscent of the ponies we used to rent from the neighboring farmer for 50¢ during those childhood summers at Clear Lake -- we would ride them through the woods bareback, by ourselves, on the unkempt trails, before the era of helmets or waiver forms. Sometimes they would brush us off against a tree and simply trot back to the barn.

Tolkien said that "Middle-earth was not at a physically distant time, but rather 'at a different stage of imagination.'" Now, just as I celebrate the one-year anniversary of that first clinic, which introduced me to both Centered Riding® and Lord Stirling Stable, I begin to imagine a whole new dimension of riding.

The lovely photo above captures the mystical quality I experienced when we first entered the forest. “It was just like something out of Lord of the Rings” I told my friends. Sure enough, I somehow found the image I was looking for in the work of Asni -- harpist, photographer and Tolkien aficionado currently living in New Zealand (photo above taken in Germany and used with her permission). Please visit her website to see her other beautiful images and listen to her magical music, including her new album "Travels in Middle-earth."

the power of connection

“Wu Wei is about acting in synch. . . .fluidly adapting to the needs of the moment, doing only as much as is needed of exactly the right things in precisely the right time. Working this way requires a very refined ability to feel, follow, absorb, interpret and direct energy. Such a sense is only possible when things are in harmony -- in balance. Such a balance is only possible to the extent one can feel, follow, absorb, interpret and direct oneself.” (emphasis mine)

--From a thread on the T’ai Chi section of the Prairie Winds website

One week recently, I managed to spend more time on a horse than on the aikido mat. When I did get back to training, I found I was particularly sensitive to the concept of connecting with my partner and leading/following the technique to a resolution. I felt like a school horse (but without the requisite patience) and it seemed my rider (training partner) was trying to communicate with me by pushing and pulling me around with muscles and tension. Only some of my more skilled and senior partners were able to blend, connect and lead me without eliciting this reaction. And when I was executing the techniques, I noticed they were most effective when my intention was to maintain a harmonious connection, patiently resisting the urge to push, pull or try to make my partner respond in a particular way.

Learning to join or blend with an attack is the foundation of aikido training. No technique can be effectively executed without the initial awareness which connects you to your attacker. Only after you have connected, is it possible to lead them off balance and neutralize the conflict. The lead is not a pulling which engages individual muscles, but a way of using the whole body organized around the center of gravity. It has a magnetic effect – a drawing in or a seductive quality. There is a kind of stillness within the movement which leaves the aggressor unsuspectingly undisturbed. Once established, I must constantly renew my attention and awareness to maintain the connection. Excess effort breaks the link between us and gives my partner something to struggle against. It requires subtlety of feeling.

Aikido is an art transmitted through touch and mastered through conscious repetition. Description and analysis are incomplete without the kinesthetic reprogramming which takes place each time I feel the energy extend through a technique performed by one of my senior teachers or training partners. At our dojo we are especially blessed to have two direct students of the founder, O’Sensei, as our master teachers. They learned through absorbing the feeling of the art from O’Sensei, so we are receiving aikido through them, and it passes through us to those we touch in our training.

Judy Cross-Strehlke repeatedly encouraged us: “reach the feeling in your riding – don’t get stuck in the information.” The more I am able to follow her advice, the more I find my aikido experience can influence my ability to connect with my horse. In those brief moments of connection, I sense my horse as I might a less-experienced aikido training partner who is relying on me for direction and gentle guidance – they need to feel my softness, timing and clarity of intent. They wish to feel my calmness under stress and they learn through me something about power without force.

So, when does the connection actually begin? Not only does it begin before the moment of physical contact, one of my favorite aikido teachers suggests that the technique begins even before we enter the dojo. Sara and Michael Stenson of Prairie Winds Equine Massage Therapy suggest that the therapeutic treatment you offer the horse begins the moment the horse notices you. Judy told us that each morning when she opens her eyes (anywhere from 4:30 am to 6:30 am) and sits up in bed, she will invariably hear one of her horses call to her from a far off paddock still obscured by mist. Their awareness so far exceeds ours -- I think this is why they captivate me and how they have seduced me.

My first small iMovie project is in progress, intended to convey some of the flavor of connection as an aspect of aikido training (coming soon). In the meantime, above are some still images taken from informal video footage, filmed during a break between aikido classes. Jaime Kahn, a longtime friend and training partner (who is also a wonderful photographer) helped me explore connection through the wrist-grab attack and a technique called kaiten-nage.

the wild ones

Best Friends Animal Sanctuary sends me a bi-monthly magazine, since Helene sponsored a horse for me and I was moved to do some sponsoring myself. It is beautifully produced -- filled with inspirational stories and many wonderful photographs.

In it I discovered an article about an exhibit documenting wild horses in Idaho by photographer Elissa Kline. Her website has a link to the Best Friends article (under the News section) along with the full range of her amazing images. The exhibit “Herd But Not Seen” consists of nearly life-sized images of wild horses which float on translucent cotton panels throughout the space. She is hoping to show this awareness-raising exhibit in all 10 states with wild-horse populations, as well as somewhere near Washington, DC “where people who make the laws are.”

My own awareness of wild horses was re-kindled recently by a friend who mentioned that he walked by an exhibit in Soho he thought I would enjoy: The Wild Horses of Sable Island. The Green Horse Society website chronicles these individual horses and the life of the herd on the the tiny sand bar of Sable Island, 160 miles off the coast of Nova Scotia.

Abaco Island in the Bahamas also has a wild horse population.

Informational links from the Best Friends article:

Return to Freedom American Wild Horse Sanctuary

American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign

Wild Horse Sanctuary

Let ‘Em Run Foundation, Inc.

hawk's eye view

Yesterday I was lured into another dimension of life’s expression, here in New York. This is where I live – an environment which can alternately overload or numb the senses. Because everything lately is filtered through the lens of horses and riding, an experience of this nature cannot escape that process.

Central Park is an urban oasis for many of us. As a new vista for me, and in my purview for a good part of each waking day, it has altered my perspective. I know all the stories of birdwatchers and nature lovers – I’ve seen lots of ducks and observed a couple of long-legged water birds from the heights of Belvedere Castle. But since moving to this office, the shadow of a larger bird has slowly entered my consciousness. Yesterday it burst in upon me unexpectedly and gave me a glimpse of grandeur.

Ironically, I was speaking on the phone to my daughter who is living out in the real Big Sky country of Montana; in further irony, we were discussing my colleagues’ trip to the remote areas of New Zealand where they are hiking, hoping to see rare flora and fauna. At that moment the large bird I had only recently seen from a distance, glided past the window where I was standing, so close I could almost reach out and touch it, the incredible detailing of the wing feathers in clear relief on a day of brilliant sun against a crisp blue sky. In slow motion, it soared and circled and glided and hovered, almost lingering, then repeated its path. So poignant, I felt – what was this creature doing in this City? How lucky for me to view it in this way – how else would you climb to the heights where he soars?

Somehow I knew – this is a Red-tailed hawk. Then I looked uptown and thought, well at least he has the Park. He or she -- well I’m not sure. Then I remembered the story of the famous hawks nesting at the exclusive Fifth Avenue address. A day later, after enlightening myself (see websites referenced below), I understand that I was most certainly visited by Pale Male or Lola or one of their offspring. And the thrill of my personal experience is undiminished by the fact that Pale Male and his brood are in fact quite famous, with books written, a PBS Nature documentary and many zealous supporters.

The impact is palpable, the fascination lingers – the metaphors, familiar: freedom, the fantasy of flight, soaring above it all, the perfection of form and function, the absolute naturalness of the activity -- powerful yet effortless. I am already dreaming of another visitation and surely I am not alone in this: “Many of us . . . feel that observing this large and powerful bird is akin to a spiritual or religious experience.” -- from The City Naturalist, by Leslie Day

A few other amazing facts about Red-tails, excerpts from the article:

DESCRIPTION: The largest North American Buteo is 19-25 inches long (female larger than male); wingspan up to 58 inches. Talons are large and sharp.

EYESIGHT: Amazing eyesight allows them to see small mice while soaring 100 feet above the ground. Although one third the size of an adult human male, their eyes are as large as a man's - sometimes larger. The greatest density of nerve receptors seen in any eye has been recorded for a hawk. Their eyes are specially adapted for rapid change of focus (while hunting they go into aerial dives of 120 mph!) and unlike most birds, hawks have binocular vision.

FEEDING HABITS: May hunt while soaring. They can snatch birds right out of the air. . . Most often watches for prey from perch in tree from which it takes off with powerful wingbeats, then glides toward ground and snatches prey from the ground with its powerful and sharp talons. When they extend their legs fully in a dive, tendons spread the claws. When it strikes its prey, the legs double up under the force of impact which automatically clenches the toes and talons. The talons then pierce the vital organs of the victim, causing instant death.

AGE: A captive female at Millbrook, N.Y., lived to 29 years old.

In Love With A Hawk

Birds of Central Park - Pale Male is the gorgeous cover image

The photo above, courtesy of Lincoln Karim, was taken last Valentine’s Day and shows Pale Male soaring in what is quite likely the area around my office building. His website contains so many amazing photographs, with narrative, posted almost daily since 2002. A beautiful recent entry.

Footnote: I could not resist stopping the building manager in the lobby this morning and asking him if he knew of the large hawk in the area. In his heavy New York accent he confirmed matter-of-factly that this is indeed the son of Pale Male and the nest is across the street. Every year they have chicks and he likes to hang out on the 43rd floor of our building. One time he encountered the bird up on the roof. Apparently not very impressed, he told me they are thick out on Long Island where he lives – you can see them on every telephone pole.

greater than the sum

Years of familiarity with the movements, rituals and rhythm which create any given aikido class afford me the luxury to explore the “bigger picture” in my own training. What is the nature of the interaction taking place? How can I generate the most power with the least amount of effort? How do I get out of my own way so that the forces of gravity and momentum begin to work to my advantage? Experience has taught me that the more I can find a way to let my center initiate and execute the movement, the more effective my techniques become. A phrase which comes often to mind: the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

Even when teaching a class full of beginners, I like to incorporate the idea that the movements created by O Sensei (the founder of aikido) are trying to teach us to use ourselves in an integrated way. Of course, I can hear those newer students thinking in exasperation (as I do when describing some of my experiences as a beginning rider) “easier said than done!” How can I consider the whole when I don’t yet know all the parts? Add to this the highly interactive nature of the art – learning to stay centered while blending with and redirecting aggressive energy -- it is a lot to keep track of.

The details of technique are of course important. But what manner of directing attention might allow more of the moving parts to take care of themselves, to find their own place in the larger dynamic movement? This is where familiarity with underlying principles is useful. Awareness of the center (of gravity), soft eyes (diffused to enhance peripheral vision), allowing weight to fall underside (grounding), extending energy (ki), awareness of breathing – when we practice with these principles in mind, other layers of detail can be superimposed. These principles can also begin to inform everyday activities.

Learning about riding through the Centered Riding technique developed by Sally Swift is renewing my connection to these basic principles, and has both enhanced and reinvigorated my aikido training. And because the Alexander Technique was such a big influence on Sally Swift, I often reflect on how his discovery is interwoven into her teaching tools. The synergies that exist between my interrelated endeavors are showing me, on a different level, how the whole really is greater than the sum of the parts.

The image above was taken after class today using my iPhone. My favorite photographs of aikido have a diffuse feeling to them, capturing some of the dynamic quality of the spiral movements. This one seems to convey the interaction as a whole, with just the detail of one hand slightly more in focus.

listening

the act of hearing attentively

Reflecting on last week’s riding lesson, I realized that my experience was very full of me trying to tell my horse what to do. Granted, he was a horse in need of clear direction. In retrospect, however, it seems that I spent a lot of time talking at him – a predominantly one-sided conversation. Did I really think I could boss him around, and were my standards impossibly high? My internal dialogue might run like this: is he really close enough to the rail, did he try to cut that corner of the ring, is he walking fast enough, am I giving him clear direction, is he listening to me? Well, that sounds like a conversation with myself, not with my horse, doesn’t it?

The memory of a few moments where my experience was different is causing me to think about what might be the riding equivalent of the good conversationalist’s dictum: “talk less/listen more.” In a way we both were listening at those moments of perceived unity or harmony. As a musician, harmony has a definite meaning to me – and we were each creating our own tone. If you are playing in an ensemble, even just a duet, you must listen carefully and continue listening, matching your tone to the others’ and constantly making incredibly subtle adjustments, which preserve the element of harmony. This could also describe the process of “keeping your balance" – a misnamed phrase. Balance is not a fixed position you can “keep” or a destination you are aiming to reach, but a subtly dynamic state.

The riders I most admire all possess a quiet quality of leadership and I am beginning to realize that this quality is developed through listening, even more than by leading. It’s more about being than doing. A quote from a wonderful book called It’s A Lot Like Dancing, by the aikido teacher, Terry Dobson, reminds me that these riders all have a similar aura surrounding them, and one aspect of this way of being might be described by the word tact:

“Tact is the ability to do the right thing at the right time. How do we know how to do this? How to be tactful? You can’t decide to be tactful. You can only do it intuitively, when you are fully engaged, when your spirit is collected or synchronous. Tact comes from the Latin word tangere, which means “to touch.” In Aikido, we touch each other physically and spiritually. In this way we are learning to open ourselves up to tact, to saying and doing the right thing at the right time.”

Listening means being open to hearing or experiencing something we might not expect and being willing to adapt ourselves to the situation. The activity of listening encompasses both my outer and my inner life. By remaining open and receptive to the subtle intuitive cues coming from within I know I greatly enhance both my self-knowledge and my listening skills.

In recent lessons I have ridden and quickly become enamored of a large paint horse named Amigo, who just happens to have a few “issues.” I confessed to my friend Helene that paint horses always make my heart beat a little faster. Shown above is Jerry, who provided some of my very first positive riding experiences. I call him “that handsome devil.”

first things first

Another Centered Riding Clinic has given me new inspiration, insight and food for thought. Jami Wallace, our instructor and Mary Ann Rudolph, the clinic organizer, kindly allowed us to participate, even though we were only able to attend the Sunday portion of the two-day clinic held at idyllic Sunny Brook Farm in Newtown, Connecticut. Thank goodness for the sunshine and mild (for January) weather, which allowed us to ride in a beautiful outdoor ring.

In my Centered Riding Member’s book where clinics and related bodywork activities are recorded, the space provided for “what I learned” does encourage me to reflect…
I was struck by how much information we were attempting to process during each moment of our riding, which gave us many possibilities of where to place our attention, as we received a lot of wonderful individual instruction and correction from Jami and her assistant Laurie. We were reminded of many of the imagery tools as we rode in our small group of beginners. The Centered Riding method is very “principle-based,” yet many choices exist regarding how to best apply those principles.

The exercises and imagery are the “what” of the equation and lead inevitably back to the “how” –- how to get out of our own way so that the basic principles underlying the technique can function. Jami often reminds us to “allow” this or that to happen, as opposed to doing something – allow gravity to work, allow the back of your knee and calf to lengthen, allow the weight to sink down through your heel.

But, what allows me to allow? What is the hierarchy of useful tools, or images, or thoughts? How do I prioritize the many choices available to me in each moment? What choice helps to make sense of all the others? Experiences in applying Alexander’s principle over the years have shown me that I am best served by returning first and often to a simple thought process -- one that invokes the master reflex of body mechanics which he discovered. This he called “primary control” and when it functions it literally creates the “tone,” bringing the body into a state of equilibrium, releasing excess tension and opening up awareness in the process.

Many reinforcing experiences have shown me the value of making my first priority noticing the possibility of ease in the area where my head rests atop my spine. This is the key area where even a slight release of tension will reflexively redistribute the energy throughout our entire mechanism. Then other and various images can be overlayed to greater effect, and information about the body as a whole is received more accurately. When I work with people who are interested in learning to apply Alexander’s discovery to their activities, I encourage them to create a new habit for themselves – the habit of finding moments within their activities to first, “catch a glimpse” of ease in the head/neck area, and then to observe what happens to the ease as they continue their activity. This describes a process which is meant to be repeated. The quality of ease will ebb and flow, based on the quality of thinking applied.

According to feedback received from more experienced riders, these moments of noticing the ease seem be equivalent to the concept of the half-halt -- a momentary re-balancing of the rider which also re-balances the horse, and communicates a transition or impending change of activity. To me, this means that riding as an activity is inherently full of opportunities to apply Alexander's principle. The half-halt concept was completely mysterious to me until a discussion with a fine dressage rider helped make this connection.*

My own thoughts eventually circled back to an impressive book which talks about priorities in the sense of choices we make about how to use our time, “First Things First.” This book goes far beyond the usual time management systems and suggests getting in touch with deeply-held values and principles, linking those with goals, and learning to understand how the choices we make in each moment ultimately create our lives. From a chapter in the book called “Integrity in the Moment of Choice”:

“Quality of life depends on what happens in the space between stimulus and response.”

Wikipedia entry on First Things First

*The half-halt is a fascinating aspect of riding and will be explored in more entries as my understanding grows; an entry on the psoas muscle has been gestating for some time.

The photo above was taken when Mary Ann took us to visit four two-year-olds who are pastured together at Sunny Brook Farm. On the left is Rudy, son of the Appaloosa mare I rode in the clinic. These young horses displayed a very lively camaraderie, showing off their unaffected and naturally beautiful movement as they teased each other and played together.

that elusive quality

Today on my birthday my horoscope in part advised: “open up your ideas about what happiness means.”

A British medical study has documented several kinds of positive physical changes which occur in people when they experience feelings of happiness or contentment. These include lowered levels of both the stress hormone, cortisol and of two protein markers of inflammation in the body. Excerpts from the article:

“But if happier people are healthier people, the more difficult question remains: How do you become happier?” . . .

"We need to help people to recognize the things that make them feel good and truly satisfied with their lives, so that they spend more time doing these things."

Read the entire article here (Happiness May be Good for Your Health):

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has spent many years studying the psychology of happiness. He has found that certain types of activities promote a state which includes both immersion and awareness which he calls “flow.” The flow state is also known colloquially as being “in the zone” or “in the groove,” and is often described by high-performance athletes, artists, craftspeople or skilled musicians. This morning I found no less than four of his books on my shelf; the first and a classic is:
“Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.”

Above: one of my many happy moments of interaction with Beau Dandy, a horse I am getting to know and ride in my Centered Riding lessons with Jami Wallace.

confidence

Yes, it’s the dictionary again…

1a: a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances
1b: faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
2: the quality or state of being certain
3: a relation of trust or intimacy

A state of mind or a manner marked by easy coolness and freedom from uncertainty, diffidence, or embarrassment. Confidence stresses faith in oneself and one's powers without any suggestion of conceit or arrogance.

The northeast winter weather and flu season, along with simple logistics of the holiday season conspired to keep me off a horse for more than a month – a period of time which I initially found to be extremely frustrating. Gradually I adjusted and accepted it somewhat, especially as January drew closer and I was consumed with another creative project. Now that we are back in the saddle, I have noticed a change (dare I say it) in my riding.

Suddenly, I seem to have a newfound sense confidence, and I am trying to figure out what happened, what this means, where it comes from. My more experienced riding friends and mentors have assured me that some day I will become a confident rider who trusts herself and her horse. I know that given my level of obsession, they are probably correct; however, up until very recently, I have felt a constant undertone of doubt and frustration. How refreshing to sense some elevation from what George Leonard might call a learning “plateau.” He describes the process of mastery as a long, winding path or journey, with inevitable periods where effort is applied but nothing seems to be happening.

So what has allowed my confidence to begin to emerge? Is it simply a matter of a certain amount of time logged in the saddle? Maybe the many hours spent immersed in the production of my creative project with ample time for thought and reflection was a kind of gestation period for this new phase. Whatever the reason, it is a relief and a refreshing change – a kind of letting go of fear, a settling down, an acceptance of what might happen when I get on the horse and a willingness to just experience it and deal with it moment-by-moment.

My confidence on the aikido mat has had 24 years to develop, and before I started riding I think I had begun to take it for granted -- but I also remember my early years of training quite vividly. This time in riding reminds me of a day about six months after I began aikido when I was walking home after class and realized that I knew where my center was located and that I sensed an energy moving me forward from that place. Now I understand that experience was a first glimpse into a whole new world and one that continues to reveal itself to me – a process like peeling away layers of an onion.

Finally, these words of encouragement from my wise young riding mentor Liz Rome:

“I have many days where I don’t feel like I find the unity, but I am thankful for the days I do… and you are very close indeed to finding it as well. Once you trust yourself and you can trust the horse you are riding (even if they are being silly) you will have found your secret place. No one can teach that. . . it comes with time. Kind of like kids (and some adults) have to learn to love themselves, riders have to learn to trust themselves.“

The photo above both inspires and instructs me – Annelie exhibits a perfectly confident poise as she receives comments from the clinic instructor while remaining in delicate yet complete contact with her horse, Sober. Notice her solid yet light seat connection and rein contact and the attentive way Sober is “listening” to her.

if wishes were horses

This morning I happened upon a PBS broadcast of Dr. Christiane Northrup, MD, someone I have followed for many years, first encountering her wisdom in the pages of East West Journal, the old macrobiotic magazine. She is a wonderful healer, teacher and holistic ObGyn. She mentioned something in the broadcast which intrigued me when she described the power of an image to cause a measurable hormonal response in the body. She suggested that we all need to have access to an image that makes us “melt” inside, that really moves us and puts us in touch with our love and concern – for some it will be a baby or small child, for others a kitten, puppy or a helpless baby bird. Everyone can probably name one that works for them. Apparently it is well-documented that release of the master hormone DHEA is triggered by this type of thinking -- specifically in women, but I would imagine that positive hormonal reactions are connected to all human feelings of deep care and concern.

Today especially I had wanted to share an inspiring image and a wish for us all for the year to come. When I pulled Dr. Northrup’s book off my shelf to see if I could find the relevant passage, I found it overflowing with inspiration. I highly recommend the book: Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, which has been called “a masterpiece for every woman who has an interest in her body, her mind, and her soul.” From the final paragraph:

“Commit to living your dreams – one day at a time. This is the process that is required to heal our families, our communities, and our planet. May you go forth now, to take a nap, to embrace a child, to feel the sun on your face, or to eat a good meal slowly, knowing deep within you that the next step for healing and living joyfully is already there, waiting for you to listen to it, waiting to be born into the world – through you…”

Above you see a photo that has caused any number of big, burly martial artists of the male gender and equal numbers of women to “melt” in response. Calvin is a special horse I met at the Centered Riding Instructors’ Clinic in North Carolina and Liz Rome (introducing daughter Keeley to Calvin) is the beautiful, patient and skilled rider chosen by his owner to ride him during the 3-day clinic. I felt a special connection to Liz – she had an earnest and determined, yet open quality about her, in addition to her obvious riding expertise and experience. She was also the same age as my own daughter. Even as a novice rider, I could appreciate the way she handled Calvin. She was just the calm, quiet, patient and steady leader he needed to reassure him through his fear issues.

you never know

Captured above is the hypnotic movement of the Mevlevi Order of Whirling Dervishes. Founded in the 13th century by Sufi mystic Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi, the order has preserved the tradition of whirling for 800 years. An expression of faith, the rhythmic rotation of the ancient sema ritual focuses on the relationship between body and soul, man and God, lover and beloved. Sacred music performed live by Turkish musicians enhances the ritual performance. This photo is from the UC Riverside website announcement of their performance.

Years ago as a young woman, feeling wise for my age but with little life experience behind me, I read the Sufi stories collected by Idries Shah. I found them charming, interesting, but I put them aside. Once such story, “Fatima the Spinner and the Tent” was brought back into my awareness several years ago by a dear friend who was attempting to reassure me that my hard work, perseverance, and many and varied interests all fit together into some kind of grand scheme which would soon be revealed to me. Fatima discovers that the challenging experiences in her life are really blessings in disguise, which ultimately lead her to great happiness. Click here for the full text.

Periodically I would return to the story – I understood the concept, but exactly how did it apply to me -- how was I meant to weave together the various and varied aspects of my life into a coherent whole? Frustrated and impatient, I thought the best plan would be to “choose a direction and pursue it.”

Just about the time I thought I might make this big choice, I took that first riding lesson. Initially it was just a thrilling new experience, a feeling of beginning to fulfill a long-time dream. "Try it and see what happens, see where it might lead you" I said to myself … I soon discovered that I had waded into a flowing stream, or actually more like fallen into a river with a strong, swift current, which carried me away, almost against my will – except that I was more than happy to go along!

Already my involvement with horses has brought many facets of myself into perspective. Each day brings some synchronous event, or another piece of the puzzle falls into place, an “aha!” moment, or insight. I know this is a time of grace, where my openness and effort have found some equilibrium.

My sister Carolyn is famous for two stock expressions, spoken often and rendered with feeling in deaf speech -- one of them is “you never know.” You can imagine the multitude of uses for such a phrase.

it's not what you think

“Humans are born communicators; we don’t have to wait until we acquire language skills to get our point across. We have awareness before we have spoken language . . . Wordless communications happen all the time . . . so subtly that they often go unnoticed while the constant noise of conscious thoughts and emotions claim our attention. But intuition is no less real for its subtlety. We don’t need words to hear what our hearts are saying.” --Excerpt from The Language of Animals by Carol Gurney (emphasis mine)

“When we interact with our horse the most important part to the horse is the metamessage – the part that supplies the context and meaning to our messages. They read that in our body. Ease or fright, fun or work, alert or sluggish – how we say it. The extent to which our whole body sends the same message is what the horse looks at to figure out whether or not we’re sure. It’s a lightning fast, intuitive, visceral level of communication between bodies."
--Excerpt from the T'ai Chi for Horsemen page on the Prairie Winds Equine Massage website of Sarah and Michael Stenson.

All the “threads” on this page of the Prairie Winds site are great. The EMT (equine massage therapy) program offered by Prairie Winds has me totally intrigued – it is a two-month, 350 hour immersion and is based in an energetic perspective.

Dawn Harris and her horse “Valentine” pictured above certainly personify the heart-to-heart connection. I met Dawn at a Centered Riding Clinic in Pedericktown, NJ this autumn. She was very excited to hear that I taught the Alexander Technique, as she would like to incorporate it as part of her continuing ed as a Centered Riding Instructor. Dawn loaned me her sweet Appaloosa “Danny Boy” to ride at the CR Instructors Clinic in North Carolina. She patiently helped me tack him up and shared generously from her wealth of knowledge and experience. Dawn grew up in Texas on a working ranch. She tells me she learned many things “the hard way” – now she is approaching her riding and teaching from the Centered Riding perspective; her big heart and hard knocks experiences are serving her well!

embodying a dream

I guess that is what I am trying to do … we use the vehicle of our physical form to realize our dreams -- by refining and clarifying ourselves.

More than ten years ago I first read a book called The Intuitive Body by an aikidoist named Wendy Palmer.

Here is the excerpt which planted the seed in me that “some day” I too would ride horses…it is from the Introduction and is called "Embodying A Dream."

The photo shows my Swedish friend, Annelie Andersson-Beck partaking of the awesome power of her Swedish warmblood gelding, Sober, at a Susan Harris Centered Riding (& Centered Jumping) Clinic. Annelie has told me that she and Sober like nothing better than to ride out into the wind when it is snowing, Sober tossing his head with delight -- I like to visualize that!

a walk in the park

A recent newsletter from my State Senator began with this bit of understatement: “Dear Friend: New York City is known worldwide as an exciting, vibrant city. Those of us who live here know that day to day challenges come along with that excitement.” No kidding.

Having been transplanted into this environment from the Midwest almost 30 years ago, I have become adept at negotiating my daily journeys through busy streets and crowded subways.

The first few years found me often frightened, upset by a scene of homelessness or chaos or unusual behavior from types of people not encountered so readily out in the Heartland. Time and experience have helped, but aikido training has been particularly useful, giving me a new sense of myself and expanding my perspective on my surroundings. Now it is not often that I lose my composure on the street or feel unsafe or uncomfortable anymore.

Recently, my toolbox of urban coping techniques has expanded to include many powerful images from Centered Riding®, and even more recently Eric Franklin’s work. The hierarchy of techniques seems to start with centering -- a sense of my whole self, facilitated by using soft eyes which expands awareness and brings in a tremendous amount of information about my surroundings. Invoking soft eyes also has the effect of releasing tension in the primary head-neck relationship, which puts me more in touch with my breathing and my grounding. So a kind of chain of awareness events begins to unfold and it is almost as if I become an observer, yet I know that I am also orchestrating my experience.

Because I have relatively limited time actually riding a horse, I have found renewed motivation to use my City life in any way which might contribute to becoming a better rider; of course the practical application of body awareness techniques has been part of my way of life since my early Alexander training with Marj Barstow in Nebraska. Remembering to apply what you have been learning, or slowing down enough to apply – finding the spaces and moments within your activities – these are the challenges to growth, and change.

And application while safely inside your practice room, or even on the aikido mat may seem easier than having the presence to overlay some of the imagery in the midst of a noisy and crowded city street or sidewalk or on a packed subway platform. But, it can be done and to great effect. By starting simply and returning gently to basics, I am discovering that I can continue to experiment, adding more layers of images and awareness. Then, if something unexpected or startling does occur I am in a much more responsive space to deal with it.

Everyone must find the awareness tools which work for them and the moments to apply them within their lives. A few examples from my morning commute: Subway stairs – lots of them, and a great opportunity to use the “bubbling spring”, the balance point in the center of each foot, just behind the ball. Place it on each step and notice all your joints working more easily – ankle, knee, and hip – and notice the spring it gives you; contrast that with trudging flat-footed up the steps. Negotiating crowds – lots of these too. First invoke soft eyes and then use an image of your center guiding you easily through the chaos; sometimes my center is a large glowing sphere (give it a color!), which is spinning to generate my movement. In order to turn, my center changes its rotation – I notice that sometimes when I try to negotiate a turn without my center, I find my neck tensing slightly and my chin jutting forward.

Allowing the center take you through is a different experience altogether. Feeling the pressure of tense and hurried people (a way of life in NYC). I sometimes experiment with becoming s-l-o-w-e-r and allow my weight to also sink down (weight underside); I consciously resist the urge to jump ahead, instead allowing people to go in front of me, or holding a door for someone coming up from behind – I find this certainly improves my experience, but I have also had encounters where I felt others calm down as well. I recently had this experience while riding – for me it was a waiting, an expanding of time, a not rushing ahead or trying to make my horse do something – much more of a cooperative kind of leadership.

So, the photo above is the view from my office – I am near Central Park, so close that I can take a little walk there each day and create another small piece of sanity in the City. Of course, I often work through my lunch time and do not take this opportunity, so my entry here is to remind myself that this might be a good use of 15 minutes of my time – even though life in New York City is not “a walk in the park!”

what’s on my mind

The photo above shows a gorgeous property (currently for sale) in Burgundy which covers 11 acres and includes stables, bridle paths and other minor amenities such as a manor house, chateau and tower “guesthouse”… here is a link for those of you who like to dream.

Have I been procrastinating lately, mulling over which would be the best subject for a post…? Possibly, but as I collected all my current books, videos, magazines and DVDs from around the apartment into a stack here, it occurred to me that I have been quite busy consuming information and connecting ideas -- reading, watching DVDs, looking up information on the internet, researching possible seminars and trips (all revolving around or somehow connected with riding a horse!). Here is a list of items gathered up:

Zen & Horseback Riding  Applying the Principles of Meditation to Riding Horses, by Tom Nagel

Horse Gaits, Balance and Movement by Susan E. Harris

Ride From Within --Use Tai Chi Principles to Awaken Your Natural Balance and Rhythm, by James Shaw

Dynamic Alignment Through Imagery, Eric Franklin

Ride the Right Horse --Understanding the Core Equine Personalities & How to Work with Them, Yvonne Barteau

Animals in Translation --Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior, Temple Grandin

The Mindbody Prescription – Healing the Body, Healing the Pain, John Sarno, MD

Craniosacral Therapy and the Energetic Body, Roger Gilchrist

Dressage in Harmony, Walter Zettl

The Complete Horse and Rider, Alois Podhajsky

Jin Shin Jyutsu for Your Animal Companion, Adele Leas

BodySense - Revolutionize Your Riding with the Alexander Technique, Sally A. Tottle

Albinus on Anatomy, Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle

and of course, Centered Riding and Centered Riding II, Sally Swift

DVD: 2006 Centered Riding Symposium, including presentations on the history of CR, The Rider's Seat (by Tom Nagel, mentioned above), Feldenkrais and CR, Tai Chi, Rider Biomechanics, Natural Horsemanship, Alexander Body Work and Life Skills!

DVD: The Visible Horse, Susan Harris & Peggy Brown
DVD: Moving Naturally, A Portrait of Marj Barstow (Nebraska Public Television, 1981)
DVD: GAIAM - Balance Ball Exercise Sampler: Strengthen core muscles, improve balance and posture

Magazine: Aikido Today with an article about a black belt test by an equestrian which incorporated riding!

Here is my Google Book List which I use to keep track of favorite books.
However, I recommend ordering horse-related books from Trafalgar Square Books.

upcoming blog posts:

-video footage of Marj Barstow, at age 82, effortlessly making her way from the ground to the back of her horse and riding on her Nebraska ranch (in a lope – that’s a Western canter, right?) – technical challenges are keeping me from realizing this post… but it will soon be possible
-habit & change
-my urban laboratory – using the City’s challenging environment
-the psoas is where it’s at
-the center

sacred space

The photograph used to illustrate the first entry "the dream" was chosen for its qualities of poise, balance, suspension and stillness in movement and the cathedral-like expanse of space between the rider and the rafters of the riding arena. The rider is Annelie Andersson-Beck on her horse, Sober (Swedish for "elegant"). I met Annelie at my very first Centered Riding Clinic at the end of August and we each recognized in the other a kindred spirit. She looked at me and said 'I hear you practice Aikido!' and I looked at her and said 'and you ride dressage!' She is a Centered Riding instructor and a competitive dressage and event rider. She had encountered several riding books which mentioned Aikido. One of them was "Horsemanship Through Life" by Mark Rashid.

The experience described in the poem was really in my dream (and is my dream) and I woke up with the phrase 'Riding Between Heaven & Earth' reverberating through me. For me the dream foreshadows the experience of integrating my Aikido training and Alexander Technique experience into my riding. In Aikido we use a number of breathing and awareness exercises to remind us that the center of our being is really the confluence of the vast energies in the center of which we are blessed to be standing.

The photograph above was taken by Maureen Gallatin; I am shown getting to know her beautiful horse, Calvin. Maureen attended the Centered Riding Instructor's clinic in North Carolina this past weekend where I had been invited by Susan Harris (Level IV Senior Centered Riding Instructor) to supply the Alexander Technique component of the program in addition to participating as a student rider for the CR instructors to practice their teaching skills. Maureen's website is Inspired By Horses, and she believes that horses have the potential to inspire and enoble us with their own natural nobility.

As I drove back towards Charlotte after my weekend of immersion in CR, I felt that I had received true grace in my experiences during those three days. Just as an Aikido dojo (place of practice) is considered a sacred space where learning and experimentation unfold under the watchful eye of a Sensei (master teacher), assisted by the senior students, I felt a similar atmosphere in the riding arena -- that it was a laboratory of learning and acceptance. And I felt truly seen and acknowledged and regarded as a precious gem, or maybe as a precious infant -- with potential recognized and nurtured and protected.

The people I am meeting through Centered Riding are so very impressive in their dedication to teaching and learning without ego and their obvious love and respect for individuals, the horse and for the relationship between horse and rider. In addition, they express a beautiful balance between dedication to serious and complete education and a lighthearted sense of humor which permeates these clinics and makes them so joyous!

I am honored to have found this community so early in my riding experience and I am quite at peace knowing that each Centered Riding Clinic strives to create a sacred space where we can all explore Sally Swift's work in a safe, supportive and non-judgmental atmosphere.

the dream

poised, connected, suspended

intimately aware of my horse's being
we are an entity, united in an endeavor
joined with a purpose in common
I become a neutral channel
Heaven's energy pours down through me
Earth's force rises, supporting us from below
blending somewhere, somehow, deeply in our core
it is touch-and-go, moment-to-moment
moment-by-moment
bliss