the weaker sex

Entertaining as it may be, this film clip from the 1930’s actually demonstrates beautifully the fundamental principles of the martial arts. O’Sensei synthesized elements of ju-jitsu, judo and traditional swordsmanship, and incorporated his spiritual outlook and practices into what he called the art of aikido.

Ms. May Whitley has style and grace -- balance, timing and proper distance, she uses her lowered center of gravity, she works with whatever attack comes her way -- all the while holding her purse and keeping her hair in place. I love her matter-of-fact approach. She is not full of ego or grand gestures, but has a kind of quiet and natural composure which can be “dis-arming” in and of itself. She also demonstrates a refreshing economy and simplicity of movement.

As a senior woman on the aikido mat I often have to find creative ways to adapt myself to my male training partners who sometimes assume that they are entitled to boss me around, for any number of reasons, which you can probably well-imagine even in these terribly enlightened times in which men and women are supposed to be living!

Usually I choose to let my actions speak louder than words -- the iron-fist-in-the-velvet-glove kind of approach, meaning that I focus, soften and clarify my technique, leaving no room for superfluous comments. Aikido is really an art where women may excel and the feminine, receptive, flexible and intuitive parts of our natures serve us well – if we allow them expression and trust in their power.

Make no mistake, proper aikido training will make you “strong”, but it is not external, muscular force which confers its power. Timing, distance, calmness, expanded awareness, softness on the outside with reduced internal tension all allow access to the expression of contained inner energy – these are the qualities which set it apart from common forms of physical training and exercize and which also make it an art.

Proper aikido training will also I believe strengthen in each of us the aspect we are lacking in our masculine/feminine balance. Soft strength, power without force, subtlety of timing, expanded awareness – these are qualities I value and why women are particularly valuable as aikidoists, when we begin to be able to express the powerful qualities of “the weaker sex.”

This one is for Aleksandra, of course not because she belongs to the weaker sex, but because I promised to share this video with her almost a year ago. Aleks happens to be the most enthusiastic aikido student I have ever had the pleasure to know. She is not only energetic, she is truly passionate about learning and extremely open and receptive. Her infectious enthusiasm always brings a breath of fresh air to the dojo.

soft eyes, big picture

Judith Cross-Strehlke made a deep impression on me during her Centered Riding clinic a few weeks ago at Woodbine Equestrian in Southern New Jersey. Her self-contained manner, powerfully quiet presence, and generous way of tuning into each and every one of us was very inspiring.

Judy also offered me a comment in private which caused me to take a deep breath, step back so to speak, and begin to open my perspective on this process of learning to ride. She suggested that I use more “soft eyes” in relation to my whole approach to learning. Suddenly I was acutely aware of how my enthusiasm, focus and determination had subtly evolved into over-thinking, overly critical over-analysis and a kind of grasping or over-reaching.

With a sigh of relief, I decided to relinquish my hard focus and give myself the luxury of non-doing, just being with the whole idea of horses and riding for a while. No list of books to read, no blog to write. I let go and stepped back, catching myself over and over in the habitual response of asking myself “what should I be doing now?” It took the form of “I’m sure there is a book to read, a thought to get down on paper, a video to order, a clinic or course to sign up for, an image to invoke…” Each time a thought of this type surfaced, I was reminded to breathe, and out would come an audible sigh. Then I would remember to ask myself, “ wait a minute, what is the bigger picture?” 

A week of this “let’s open up to the big picture” approach turned into two, with a couple of days which masqueraded as a mild flu -- of simply sitting on the sofa, reflecting. What is the hurry? What am I really trying to learn? During this retreat on the sofa I was drawn to the Magic Eye (stereogram) books loaned to me by a friend. I had “tried” to use them a number of years ago and was never able to allow my focus to soften enough to enter their 3-D world. A week or so before the clinic I had my first experience of allowing the depth of the images to be revealed to me. Now I couldn’t seem to get enough of the peaceful place where the process of softening my vision took me. One way to learn how to see the stereograms is to start with the image directly touching your nose and allow your eyes to keep the same diffuse focus as you slowly move the image farther away.

The tendency for most of us is to try harder to see something, which I notice goes along with a tension in the neck and jaw and a holding of breath. What a good metaphor for the new approach I was exploring. What a wonderful biofeedback tool for soft eyes. And as I discovered very quickly when teaching the Alexander Technique to the Centered Riding instructors last autumn, most of them immediately released tension in their head/neck relationship at the mere mention of using soft eyes.

If you would like to learn more and try it for yourself, visit: The Magic Eye image of the week. In addition to reminding me to soften my approach and expand my vision of riding, Judy also shared much detailed information and instruction during the clinic. We are already making plans to see her again soon and other ideas from her teaching will be making their way into my reflections here.

Judy rode several horses during the clinic; above she is shown with Chloe, a sweet and beautiful Andalusian mare. Watching her make an immediate connection to Chloe and proceed to ride with seeming effortlessness reminded me of a phrase we use when describing several of our aikido master instructors: “no moving parts.” It really just means that they are so integrated, functioning with such harmony, that we cannot see how they do what they are doing!

ingénue

We convened in the Heartland last weekend to celebrate the birthday of one of the most energetically spry 80-year-olds you are apt to come across – my mother, Shirley. Her image above is blurred, due to the speed at which she tends to move. She swears she can still turn cartwheels, although we have discouraged her from proving it. She also types at warp speed and regrets that we insist she wear shoes during one of her very favorite pastimes: mowing the lawn.

Her signature “lounging” position is known in aikido as “seiza” – legs folded neatly under the body, feet curved, forming a configuration for the seat, almost like sitting in a saddle. It is a position of readiness – from there, the Samurai would spring into action. Many aikidoists practice for years, hoping that their joints will soften and release enough for them to sit this way comfortably. My mother has always found it a perfectly natural way to be -- in her easy chair, watching the news or working a crossword puzzle, even spending the good part of an afternoon, on a hard wooden dock at the lake, engrossed in a good book.

Growing up on a farm during the Depression, we know that she was considered a “tomboy”, preferring to work outside or in the barn rather than staying in the house baking or learning embroidery. Her own mother did it all – from crocheting gossamer tablecloths to husking field corn and driving a team of horses pulling the threshing machine (each of my grandmothers will receive a dedicated entry, soon to follow).

My mom was a career woman from the age of 18. She always worked fulltime, effectively employed with the same law firm for over 60 years, raised three daughters, and served for 25 years on the Town Board – among various other activities! It seems she is finally adjusting somewhat, after a year of “retirement” (albeit with a part-time job), starting to mention that she would like to volunteer with the area homeless shelter and tutor children in reading.

So I thought I would share this photo snapped at the birthday dinner – how appropriate that I caught her with that other famous ingénue, Audrey. Her youthful spirit inspires me and, hopefully, her genetic gifts will serve me well, as I seem to pursue avocations traditionally considered domains of the young. Let’s see . . . youth is wasted on the young, you are only as old as you feel, it’s just a number, life begins at (fill in the blank), as fine as wine, long in the tooth (this last one comes from horses and denotes wisdom as well as age). All clichés aside, let’s just say that Shirley is irrepressibly young at heart.

fitness without stress

My reminiscence in the last post, of lessons with Marj Barstow, re-connected me to the author of another very useful book on the Alexander Technique. Robert Rickover started visiting Lincoln and studying with Marj soon after I moved to New York – our paths have not crossed very often, but we certainly share many common colleagues and the benefit of Marj’s unique perspective.

Robert’s intellectual and scientific background in combination with the highly practical influence of Marj’s teaching are expressed in his book Fitness Without Stress. Besides being a general guide to Alexander’s work and how to learn it, the book is filled with fascinating accounts from people who have successfully applied the Technique in many and varied activities (including a riding instructor).

This book made a strong impression on me, and one resonant piece of information it contains is that releasing excess tension can, in and of itself, measurably raise a person’s level of fitness. The documented effects relate to both cardiovascular efficiency and oxygen utilization. This particular fact amazed me when I first read the book a number of years ago, but has been experientially proven in my own aikido training, particularly during the vigorous role of taking continuous ukemi (falling). Yet doesn’t it make sense that our habits of movement, which add constriction and put unnecessary pressure on our joints, actually “hold us back” and keep us from being our fittest?

Some activities by their very nature contain a potential for generating more wholeness – yoga, aikido and tai chi come to mind, along with of course lately for me, the art of riding a horse. Yet, every human endeavour has this potential and the masters of any art or sport demonstrate an exquisitely integrated use of self. Everyone will have their own favorite examples: Horowitz, Tiger Woods, Baryshnikov, Anky van Grunsven.

Just as it is not possible to produce beautiful music on an instrument that is not properly tuned, so we struggle against ourselves and develop compensatory habits when we attempt to learn a new skill or to raise our level of fitness without a way to restore the integrity of our original coordination. Applying Alexander’s principle allows us to tune ourselves, inside and out, mind and body, so that we bring a more harmonious self to whatever activity we are interested in studying. Alexander was not only ahead of his time, but I often muse that he is still ahead of ours, given the deeply essential quality of his discovery.

The subjects of ‘fitness’ and of ‘stress’ already fill many volumes. So in this post, I simply ask how releasing stress by letting go of habits of unnecessary tension reveals our fundamental integration and wholeness, and how does this quality of wholeness enhance our fitness?

Robert’s websites offer a tremendous wealth of information and resources to anyone interested in all the aspects of Alexander’s discovery (links in the sidebar: The Complete Guide to the Alexander Technique, and, Marjorie Barstow).

Above, the very fit and relaxed rider Annelie Andersson-Beck on her very fit Swedish warmblood, Sober -- as relaxed as such an athletic and eager horse can be. Annelie continues to inspire and impress me with her dedication to excellence, through her study of both classical riding technique and the system of Centered Riding. She told me that she has recently started to learn Tai Chi and that riding is “so easy” (for her) in comparison!

that elusive quality

Today on my birthday my horoscope in part advised: “open up your ideas about what happiness means.”

A British medical study has documented several kinds of positive physical changes which occur in people when they experience feelings of happiness or contentment. These include lowered levels of both the stress hormone, cortisol and of two protein markers of inflammation in the body. Excerpts from the article:

“But if happier people are healthier people, the more difficult question remains: How do you become happier?” . . .

"We need to help people to recognize the things that make them feel good and truly satisfied with their lives, so that they spend more time doing these things."

Read the entire article here (Happiness May be Good for Your Health):

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has spent many years studying the psychology of happiness. He has found that certain types of activities promote a state which includes both immersion and awareness which he calls “flow.” The flow state is also known colloquially as being “in the zone” or “in the groove,” and is often described by high-performance athletes, artists, craftspeople or skilled musicians. This morning I found no less than four of his books on my shelf; the first and a classic is:
“Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.”

Above: one of my many happy moments of interaction with Beau Dandy, a horse I am getting to know and ride in my Centered Riding lessons with Jami Wallace.

if wishes were horses

This morning I happened upon a PBS broadcast of Dr. Christiane Northrup, MD, someone I have followed for many years, first encountering her wisdom in the pages of East West Journal, the old macrobiotic magazine. She is a wonderful healer, teacher and holistic ObGyn. She mentioned something in the broadcast which intrigued me when she described the power of an image to cause a measurable hormonal response in the body. She suggested that we all need to have access to an image that makes us “melt” inside, that really moves us and puts us in touch with our love and concern – for some it will be a baby or small child, for others a kitten, puppy or a helpless baby bird. Everyone can probably name one that works for them. Apparently it is well-documented that release of the master hormone DHEA is triggered by this type of thinking -- specifically in women, but I would imagine that positive hormonal reactions are connected to all human feelings of deep care and concern.

Today especially I had wanted to share an inspiring image and a wish for us all for the year to come. When I pulled Dr. Northrup’s book off my shelf to see if I could find the relevant passage, I found it overflowing with inspiration. I highly recommend the book: Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, which has been called “a masterpiece for every woman who has an interest in her body, her mind, and her soul.” From the final paragraph:

“Commit to living your dreams – one day at a time. This is the process that is required to heal our families, our communities, and our planet. May you go forth now, to take a nap, to embrace a child, to feel the sun on your face, or to eat a good meal slowly, knowing deep within you that the next step for healing and living joyfully is already there, waiting for you to listen to it, waiting to be born into the world – through you…”

Above you see a photo that has caused any number of big, burly martial artists of the male gender and equal numbers of women to “melt” in response. Calvin is a special horse I met at the Centered Riding Instructors’ Clinic in North Carolina and Liz Rome (introducing daughter Keeley to Calvin) is the beautiful, patient and skilled rider chosen by his owner to ride him during the 3-day clinic. I felt a special connection to Liz – she had an earnest and determined, yet open quality about her, in addition to her obvious riding expertise and experience. She was also the same age as my own daughter. Even as a novice rider, I could appreciate the way she handled Calvin. She was just the calm, quiet, patient and steady leader he needed to reassure him through his fear issues.