ingénue

We convened in the Heartland last weekend to celebrate the birthday of one of the most energetically spry 80-year-olds you are apt to come across – my mother, Shirley. Her image above is blurred, due to the speed at which she tends to move. She swears she can still turn cartwheels, although we have discouraged her from proving it. She also types at warp speed and regrets that we insist she wear shoes during one of her very favorite pastimes: mowing the lawn.

Her signature “lounging” position is known in aikido as “seiza” – legs folded neatly under the body, feet curved, forming a configuration for the seat, almost like sitting in a saddle. It is a position of readiness – from there, the Samurai would spring into action. Many aikidoists practice for years, hoping that their joints will soften and release enough for them to sit this way comfortably. My mother has always found it a perfectly natural way to be -- in her easy chair, watching the news or working a crossword puzzle, even spending the good part of an afternoon, on a hard wooden dock at the lake, engrossed in a good book.

Growing up on a farm during the Depression, we know that she was considered a “tomboy”, preferring to work outside or in the barn rather than staying in the house baking or learning embroidery. Her own mother did it all – from crocheting gossamer tablecloths to husking field corn and driving a team of horses pulling the threshing machine (each of my grandmothers will receive a dedicated entry, soon to follow).

My mom was a career woman from the age of 18. She always worked fulltime, effectively employed with the same law firm for over 60 years, raised three daughters, and served for 25 years on the Town Board – among various other activities! It seems she is finally adjusting somewhat, after a year of “retirement” (albeit with a part-time job), starting to mention that she would like to volunteer with the area homeless shelter and tutor children in reading.

So I thought I would share this photo snapped at the birthday dinner – how appropriate that I caught her with that other famous ingénue, Audrey. Her youthful spirit inspires me and, hopefully, her genetic gifts will serve me well, as I seem to pursue avocations traditionally considered domains of the young. Let’s see . . . youth is wasted on the young, you are only as old as you feel, it’s just a number, life begins at (fill in the blank), as fine as wine, long in the tooth (this last one comes from horses and denotes wisdom as well as age). All clichés aside, let’s just say that Shirley is irrepressibly young at heart.

hawk's eye view

Yesterday I was lured into another dimension of life’s expression, here in New York. This is where I live – an environment which can alternately overload or numb the senses. Because everything lately is filtered through the lens of horses and riding, an experience of this nature cannot escape that process.

Central Park is an urban oasis for many of us. As a new vista for me, and in my purview for a good part of each waking day, it has altered my perspective. I know all the stories of birdwatchers and nature lovers – I’ve seen lots of ducks and observed a couple of long-legged water birds from the heights of Belvedere Castle. But since moving to this office, the shadow of a larger bird has slowly entered my consciousness. Yesterday it burst in upon me unexpectedly and gave me a glimpse of grandeur.

Ironically, I was speaking on the phone to my daughter who is living out in the real Big Sky country of Montana; in further irony, we were discussing my colleagues’ trip to the remote areas of New Zealand where they are hiking, hoping to see rare flora and fauna. At that moment the large bird I had only recently seen from a distance, glided past the window where I was standing, so close I could almost reach out and touch it, the incredible detailing of the wing feathers in clear relief on a day of brilliant sun against a crisp blue sky. In slow motion, it soared and circled and glided and hovered, almost lingering, then repeated its path. So poignant, I felt – what was this creature doing in this City? How lucky for me to view it in this way – how else would you climb to the heights where he soars?

Somehow I knew – this is a Red-tailed hawk. Then I looked uptown and thought, well at least he has the Park. He or she -- well I’m not sure. Then I remembered the story of the famous hawks nesting at the exclusive Fifth Avenue address. A day later, after enlightening myself (see websites referenced below), I understand that I was most certainly visited by Pale Male or Lola or one of their offspring. And the thrill of my personal experience is undiminished by the fact that Pale Male and his brood are in fact quite famous, with books written, a PBS Nature documentary and many zealous supporters.

The impact is palpable, the fascination lingers – the metaphors, familiar: freedom, the fantasy of flight, soaring above it all, the perfection of form and function, the absolute naturalness of the activity -- powerful yet effortless. I am already dreaming of another visitation and surely I am not alone in this: “Many of us . . . feel that observing this large and powerful bird is akin to a spiritual or religious experience.” -- from The City Naturalist, by Leslie Day

A few other amazing facts about Red-tails, excerpts from the article:

DESCRIPTION: The largest North American Buteo is 19-25 inches long (female larger than male); wingspan up to 58 inches. Talons are large and sharp.

EYESIGHT: Amazing eyesight allows them to see small mice while soaring 100 feet above the ground. Although one third the size of an adult human male, their eyes are as large as a man's - sometimes larger. The greatest density of nerve receptors seen in any eye has been recorded for a hawk. Their eyes are specially adapted for rapid change of focus (while hunting they go into aerial dives of 120 mph!) and unlike most birds, hawks have binocular vision.

FEEDING HABITS: May hunt while soaring. They can snatch birds right out of the air. . . Most often watches for prey from perch in tree from which it takes off with powerful wingbeats, then glides toward ground and snatches prey from the ground with its powerful and sharp talons. When they extend their legs fully in a dive, tendons spread the claws. When it strikes its prey, the legs double up under the force of impact which automatically clenches the toes and talons. The talons then pierce the vital organs of the victim, causing instant death.

AGE: A captive female at Millbrook, N.Y., lived to 29 years old.

In Love With A Hawk

Birds of Central Park - Pale Male is the gorgeous cover image

The photo above, courtesy of Lincoln Karim, was taken last Valentine’s Day and shows Pale Male soaring in what is quite likely the area around my office building. His website contains so many amazing photographs, with narrative, posted almost daily since 2002. A beautiful recent entry.

Footnote: I could not resist stopping the building manager in the lobby this morning and asking him if he knew of the large hawk in the area. In his heavy New York accent he confirmed matter-of-factly that this is indeed the son of Pale Male and the nest is across the street. Every year they have chicks and he likes to hang out on the 43rd floor of our building. One time he encountered the bird up on the roof. Apparently not very impressed, he told me they are thick out on Long Island where he lives – you can see them on every telephone pole.

fitness without stress

My reminiscence in the last post, of lessons with Marj Barstow, re-connected me to the author of another very useful book on the Alexander Technique. Robert Rickover started visiting Lincoln and studying with Marj soon after I moved to New York – our paths have not crossed very often, but we certainly share many common colleagues and the benefit of Marj’s unique perspective.

Robert’s intellectual and scientific background in combination with the highly practical influence of Marj’s teaching are expressed in his book Fitness Without Stress. Besides being a general guide to Alexander’s work and how to learn it, the book is filled with fascinating accounts from people who have successfully applied the Technique in many and varied activities (including a riding instructor).

This book made a strong impression on me, and one resonant piece of information it contains is that releasing excess tension can, in and of itself, measurably raise a person’s level of fitness. The documented effects relate to both cardiovascular efficiency and oxygen utilization. This particular fact amazed me when I first read the book a number of years ago, but has been experientially proven in my own aikido training, particularly during the vigorous role of taking continuous ukemi (falling). Yet doesn’t it make sense that our habits of movement, which add constriction and put unnecessary pressure on our joints, actually “hold us back” and keep us from being our fittest?

Some activities by their very nature contain a potential for generating more wholeness – yoga, aikido and tai chi come to mind, along with of course lately for me, the art of riding a horse. Yet, every human endeavour has this potential and the masters of any art or sport demonstrate an exquisitely integrated use of self. Everyone will have their own favorite examples: Horowitz, Tiger Woods, Baryshnikov, Anky van Grunsven.

Just as it is not possible to produce beautiful music on an instrument that is not properly tuned, so we struggle against ourselves and develop compensatory habits when we attempt to learn a new skill or to raise our level of fitness without a way to restore the integrity of our original coordination. Applying Alexander’s principle allows us to tune ourselves, inside and out, mind and body, so that we bring a more harmonious self to whatever activity we are interested in studying. Alexander was not only ahead of his time, but I often muse that he is still ahead of ours, given the deeply essential quality of his discovery.

The subjects of ‘fitness’ and of ‘stress’ already fill many volumes. So in this post, I simply ask how releasing stress by letting go of habits of unnecessary tension reveals our fundamental integration and wholeness, and how does this quality of wholeness enhance our fitness?

Robert’s websites offer a tremendous wealth of information and resources to anyone interested in all the aspects of Alexander’s discovery (links in the sidebar: The Complete Guide to the Alexander Technique, and, Marjorie Barstow).

Above, the very fit and relaxed rider Annelie Andersson-Beck on her very fit Swedish warmblood, Sober -- as relaxed as such an athletic and eager horse can be. Annelie continues to inspire and impress me with her dedication to excellence, through her study of both classical riding technique and the system of Centered Riding. She told me that she has recently started to learn Tai Chi and that riding is “so easy” (for her) in comparison!

a moment, with Marj

Marjorie Barstow had the ability to alter the experience of time -- through her teaching presence, the skill of her touch, and the timing and specificity of her use of language. Ultimately, she taught us through her living example. The experience of a moment where habitual response is completely suspended is not easy to describe, but I would like to try, because in that moment lives the essence of F.M. Alexander’s discovery.
 
The year after college, I moved out to Nebraska to absorb more of Marj’s teaching. Fortunately this time coincided with opening positions for an oboe/English horn player in both the Lincoln and Omaha orchestras, along with several chamber groups. So began a time of deep immersion in playing, practicing and performing. This further enhanced the great benefit of lessons with Marj with a small group of students who wanted to learn to teach the Technique.
 
Now that I am spending time around horses and horse people, I appreciate more fully some of the aspects of Marj’s personality and her approach to teaching us. Marj was running the family business of raising cattle and quarter horses. We used to visit the ranch and picnic there, and although I never personally saw her ride or train a horse, I was aware that she did these things. Now it’s very clear that her sensitive and patient, yet down-to-earth, no-nonsense, non-coddling manner, with her constant emphasis on practical application and self-reliance are all qualities which would serve any horse trainer well!
 
Marj’s teaching gave us repeated exposure to the flavor of a process, refining our taste for these moments of possibility. More importantly it reinforced the experience of using what is known as our “constructive thinking” and carrying it right on through the initiation of an activity. But her greatest gift is that she empowered us to explore these options on our own, in any endeavor we might choose.
 
So what is the Alexander Technique and how do you begin to learn it? Of course, the benefit of working with a skilled teacher is not to be under-estimated. The best teachers balance their hands-on help with clarifying the thinking process -- helping each student understand how a simple thought applied at the right moment, and re-applied throughout an activity, is the key to using Alexander’s discovery. What I would most like my students to absorb is the confidence and clarity to apply the principle and experiment for themselves.
Begin with a book or begin with a lesson. Begin to observe your habits of movement and allow your awareness to expand -- but remember that the principle discovered by Alexander is accessible, applicable and inherent in us all. This universal applicability -- the possibility of invoking the principle at any given moment, in any activity, in any situation, and knowing that it will improve the quality of whatever I am doing -- this is what continues to fascinate me.
 
Favorite first books: Body Learning by Michael Gelb, Body Awareness in Action (re-published as Freedom to Change) by Frank Pierce Jones. See the sidebar link list for other resources.
 
The photograph above takes me back in time to one of many moments of suspension I was fortunate to experience through Marj’s teaching. This interaction reminds me of the photograph of Annelie and her horse, Sober -- Marj has achieved the same kind of palpable connection to my thinking process. We often hear the phrase “capture the moment.” Alexander’s work gives us a method to instead release the moment, or possibly more accurately to renew the moment. At any rate, it gives us the power of choice in each moment.

being there / here

When I am feeling a bit discouraged during those seemingly endless stretches of time between our (mostly) weekly riding lessons, I take heart from quotes like the ones below (excerpts from an article regarding Mark Rashid for U.K. Magazine written by Kathleen Lindley).

“The best tool in the world for working with horses is us, our body and mind, and we have it with us 24 hours a day to practice with. Most of us spend a relatively short period of time every day with our horses, but we still have hours and hours in which to practice our horsemanship. How we live our life is how we’ll work with our horse. If we live our lives in turmoil, hurry and frustration, then we’re likely to find those things present when we work with our horses. If, rather, we live our lives deliberately, consciously and in a centered way, we’ll find our horse work reflects that as well.” 

Conversely, after spending even a brief amount of time around a horse, I notice a change in my state of being. My step has an unaccustomed weight and my breathing more of a quiet depth. I am more attuned to the subtleties of an interaction. Sometimes I’m sporting an ear-to-ear grin which subsides to a subtle smile. When I find myself back in the city, the memory of my last ride can bring some of this state back to me, causing me to slow down and be more present, and often expanding my vision and awareness as I remember to use soft eyes or allow more fullness in breathing.

“For Rashid, horsemanship is a way of life and a way to be. The best place to practice horsemanship, he says, is outside the arena, while driving or at work or with one’s children. We can practice being soft, breathing, awareness and patience anywhere, and then simply bring them to our horsemanship instead of trying to summon those things when we’re with our horse without practice.” Mark Rashid discovered aikido after many years of experience with horses. A gifted storyteller, his books are all instructive and inspirational and one of them, Horsemanship Through Life, draws direct parallels between aspects of aikido training and riding horses.

Above, once again we see Calvin, the horse I found so special at the Centered Riding Instructors’ clinic in North Carolina last autumn. Auditing the clinic was a teacher of natural horsemanship, who spent quite a bit of time working what I considered “magic” on Calvin, although he did very little which I could actually see. He would hold Calvin’s rapt attention while often seeming to feign disinterest. Their connection was very palpable, if not easily described. Something about his way of being present.