Riding Between Heaven & Earth

the other side

2011-04-22T17:58:00.015-04:00

It has been over a year since I last shared anything here. Those who know me know something of the story but the gist of it is that I have passed through a time of deep sorrow and loss and have finally emerged to fully embrace life and learning again. Lots of knitting was accomplished this winter as I meditatively worked through my feelings, and more than a few horses have carried me as I cried -- they have taken especially good care of their trembling rider.

Springtime is bringing many riding opportunities, Centered Riding® clinics, study groups, a new Finding Harmony with your Horse session at Lord Stirling. Annelie and I are attending Feldenkrais and Franklin Method (with Eric Franklin!) workshops, and spending time together pursuing our many common interests. and I’m fully back on the aikido mat and doing a lot more Alexander Technique teaching. My daughter and her husband have moved to New York! You can hear her lovely coloratura soprano voice on the blogger site I just created for her: Maya's Arrival.

So, I’m looking forward to tending my digital garden here at RBHE again, now that I have come out on the other side – of life.

Theo, the biggest horse I have ridden so far, terrified me with his ground behavior, only to show me that, as promised by his owner, he is a perfect gentleman under saddle and truly a gentle giant!

on the radio

2010-03-31T22:15:00.007-04:00

A few weeks ago I was down in Hickory, North Carolina for a Centered Riding® clinic with Robin Brueckmann and a few extra days of horse immersion at the invitation of my friend, the fabulous, fearless and funloving Miss Dana Dewey, founder of Foothills Equestrian Center. I also visited Aikido of Charlotte and taught a couple of classes at the gracious invitation of Sensei Dennis Main and his senior student Jonathan Weiner who subsequently interviewed me for their web radio program.

I thought I would consciously avoid incorporating anything at all about horse riding, as I know that I often get carried away with that -- but of course, I couldn’t quite resist.

Listen to the interview HERE.

sharing a center

2010-02-21T11:09:00.007-05:00

So many titles surfaced -- you can take your pick – it takes two / two as one / seamless / mobius / give and take / giving weight / pouring weight / follow the weight / the flow of weight / flow the weight / the shifting of the weight.

Weight, momentum, inertia and what happens in relation to these forces when one moving body comes into contact with another moving body forms the basis for an art form called Contact Improvisation. I was fortunate to have Alexander Technique students who were teaching it when I first came to New York. Created by a modern dancer who was also an aikidoist, it is an improvised exploration of bodies in motion. Sometimes more interesting to experience than to watch, it has influenced post modern dance and the sensitivity training of young dancers for over 30 years. It is also an evident influence on the choreography of the most famous ice dancing couple ever, Jane Torvill and Christopher Dean.

A couple of summers ago, my horse riding friend, Annelie, visited the USAF Summer Camp where she bravely got on the mat with me and had her first experiences of the art of aikido. She had a rather unique approach to learning which involved asking me repeatedly, ‘where should my weight be now?’ A lot of people want to know where to place their feet or what to do with their arms, but Annelie always wanted to know where to shift her weight. Sometimes I had to go through the movement several times myself before I could answer her – my unconscious competence carried me through the techniques without too much analysis after so many years of repetition, but her questions led me to a new perspective.

The more I learn about riding horses, the better I understand why she approached this learning experience based almost solely on what happened to the weight in her body – did it shift forwards, or backwards, and at which moments did it change? She knew instinctively that the quality, location and movement of the weight through her body, down through her legs and feet was fundamental to what we were trying to accomplish in aikido, just as it is in horse riding. I thought about this for months afterwards and spent a lot of time on street corners and subway platforms and also on aikido mats and yes -- even on the back of a horse while riding -- experimenting with the shifting of my weight and also the accepting of weight through my bones.

The aspect of the interaction shown above which is most interesting to me is the progressive blurring of the boundaries between the two skaters as they mirror and then match each other’s movement, gradually closing the distance and eventually each maintaining their own perfect integrity of self while both giving and receiving weight. I watch the dance over and over, invariably swaying in my seat, following the hypnotic path of the weight which they expertly funnel back and forth between them. What happens during those rare moments when two become more like one? This is what continues to intrigue me about the art of horse riding, as well as aikido and other artistic forms involving partnering.

Now in the midst of the Winter Olympics, it’s timely to share this clip and some of the myriad impressions it evokes in me. If you have the patience to watch through the rather long introductory section you will be richly rewarded. In this performance filmed during their professional career, they push the artistic envelope, having the freedom to leave some of the rules and restrictions of competition behind.

fascinating rhythm

2009-12-31T12:58:00.009-05:00

The giant metronome in the sky – that’s how I came to think of the incessant and precisely regular sound. It would have been maddening, except for the fact that it seemed to pulse at a tempo perfectly suited to the trotting gait of the horse I was riding that evening -- another lovely autumn night in the outdoor ring. Clear and not too cold, it was apparently also perfect for the local marching band practicing somewhere off in the distance, using an amplified electronic metronome to keep them in step.

Well, of course, I knew rhythm to be important in riding and horse training but that evening I had a very tangible experience of the effect of regularity, repetition and consistency on both my horse and myself. I found it impossible to keep from posting the trot to the beat of the metronome. So after my initial resistance, thinking ‘when will that infernal pounding stop!?’ I surrendered and noticed how happily Knickers seemed to be ticking along, dropping his head slightly, blowing out and shaking himself like a big dog, quickly settling down to trot easily around the ring. We both became somewhat mesmerized and I found that soon I hadn’t a care in the world.

The experience stayed with me and in my musician’s heart I began to ponder the significance of rhythm – a concept I had come to take for granted throughout many years of musical training. I started questioning some of my musical friends, particularly those who play jazz and Latin music, I pulled out all of my various dressage and horse training books and began to think about rhythm – in music and in horse riding, soon finding more complexity than I first imagined. However, today, as we mark the end of a year’s cycle, I feel compelled to make a few beginning observations.

Rhythm is a vibrational phenomenon, and it exists at many levels and across time scales. Some say that our relationship to rhythm is established in our mother’s womb as we are literally immersed in the beating of her heart. Throughout our lives we experience layer upon layer of rhythms and cycles from the rising and setting of the sun, the phases of the moon, and the turning of the seasons. From the micro to the macro level, rhythm makes time apparent to us.

So, rhythm includes periodicity and regularity, contains the element of tempo, can create shape, is predictable -- the feeling of knowing what is coming next allows for relaxation. I have the rhythm of my work day, my week, the rhythm of an hour’s aikido class or a weekend intensive seminar. These days I also have the regular structure of a riding lesson – a similar progression from preparation, warm up, through gradually more demanding movements, including periods of greater and lesser intensity, ending with a winding down to walk on a long rein, halt and dismount. Like a musical phrase, a song or a symphony, a short story or a novel – each has a certain form and tempo, a rhythmic framework.

Our rhythmic sense should be completely natural and inherent, yet not everyone seems to be able to express it equally well, to “tap into it,” to “go with the flow.” If rhythm is so closely connected to relaxation, then it certainly makes sense that tension is the enemy of rhythm. Any method for releasing excess tension, whether through the Alexander Technique, Feldenkrais, meditation or constructive rest, allows us more access to this quality we all seem to crave: the pulse which has the ability to mesmerize and enthrall and which in turn puts us even further at ease.

The subject is deep and broad and all-encompassing and its application, especially in horse riding and training, so integral, I am quite certain that “I do not know what I do not know” – you know what I mean -- but it is so irresistibly fascinating that it must be explored.

And, what could seemingly illustrate rhythm more perfectly than – tap dancing! Ring in the New Year with this over-the-top number as Eleanor Powell dances to…what else – Fascinatin' Rhythm! Fortunately, even the low resolution film quality cannot disguise the precision of her body mechanics. Note her ability to isolate body parts, the easy poise of her head and if you wonder how she can move and lift her legs without disturbing her overall coordination – it’s the psoas (core strength) muscle. Enjoy!

the maestro

2009-12-13T09:28:00.009-05:00

"Equestrian art is the perfect understanding and harmony between horse and rider."
--Nuno Oliveira

Enraptured, I watched in amazement, and could only feel that this must be the epitome, the ultimate expression of equestrian artistry -- its complete embodiment. Nuno Oliviera (1925 – 1989) personifies effortless elegance in this rare footage from his earlier years. Horse and rider are seamlessly inseparable – he transcends their duality, creating a palpable demonstration of oneness. Where does one being end and the other begin?

The creation which results is it seems greater than either could achieve alone – the horse has become a willing partner, allowing the man to experience a physicality impossible without his mount. And while a horse’s movements at liberty are undeniably beautiful, somehow the rider is able to draw out and reveal to us unimagined potentials in the horse. Their synergy positively takes our breath away.

The caption of the video “travail d'un cheval” or “work with a horse” describes not a choreographed artistic performance but rather the patient, precise and utterly consistent process of communication by a master training a pupil. The addition of the wonderfully complementary musical track may enhance the aesthetic impact, yet as I watch again in silence I find it even more magical. This masterful rider seems able to place the center of himself lower than his physical body, somewhere inside the horse – creating the effect of the mythical centaur.

What is he actually doing, I feel desperate to understand -- he is leading and following at the same time! How is he able to do this? I sense an utter absence of muscular willfulness, an infinite patience and what must be great sensitivity to every nuance of the horse’s response. And, sure enough, I perceive not just the rider’s spine but his whole head and torso being used as a tool with energy directed both upwards and downwards, and often in both directions at the same time. As I watch I feel a vague kinesthetic resonance in myself – we all must have had certain experiences -- pure and unfettered, at some point before we began accumulating our many habits of movement and reaction.

The riding is really just too exquisite – I soften inside, release my preoccupation with understanding how, and surrender to the sheer ecstasy of simply knowing that someone has lived who experienced this depth of understanding and this relationship with horses.

Apparently, as he worked, Maestro Oliviera often listened to arias from the operas he so loved – the Italian masters Verdi or Puccini. Watch the footage above with and without the soundtrack and you will find all the qualities of musical expression even in silence: lyricism, drama, the dynamic shaping of a phrase through accumulation of energy and its release, rhythm and tempo, and of course harmony, and even – harmonic dissonance! Do you sense it?

Click HERE to view another much shorter video clip of this incredible master.

a moving stillness

2009-12-06T09:49:00.011-05:00

When did I begin to pay attention to what being a “quiet” rider means? It seems fairly recent, but seeds are always sown well ahead of the bloom. Of course, I have heard the quality praised over and over again – this rider has a quiet seat, this one quiet hands, this one a quiet presence -- but with so much else to learn and to “do,” apparently it took some time before I was ready to reflect on what quiet really means – to me, and to my horse.

Late August, Gail Field’s annual Centered Riding Clinic out at Lord Stirling Stable, my only written notes state: “DO NOTHING, learn to surrender to the horse. First do nothing – any tension or holding tells the horse something.” Hummmmm.

Early October, ah yes, there was that particularly vivid experience at Mio Morales’ weekend intensive Alexander Technique workshop. Sitting “still” in our seats, we practiced what became a kind of meditation – we gently and repeatedly brought our attention to the possibility of ease in our head/neck area. The ease ebbed and flowed with our awareness, and I was freshly reminded how much subtle movement is really taking place as we simply sit on our chairs. How interesting and refreshing it was to turn down the extraneous “noise” of excess tension and unnecessary movement. Hummmmm.

Next, a wonderful article by Elizabeth Reese, “The Alexander Technique and Classical Equitation” really got me thinking about what I have been telling my horse as I sometimes fidget around, trying to find just the right organization of myself as I ride. A few choice quotes:

* “. . . any action that the rider does make can [should] be both intentional and momentary.”

* “We must first find a place of quiet listening in order to act. Without listening, all of our actions are really reactions.”

* “The rider needs to discover a neutral place where she or he is not interfering with or disrupting the horse’s balance.”

November, Aikido Winter Camp in Florida: the image of Shibata Sensei’s “calm-before-the-storm” way of being. We quickly came to know that without any discernible movement or clue he could in a split second somehow draw an unsuspecting attacker into the center of the action. This produced a profound sense of aliveness on the mat -- magical in a way. You never knew where he would appear and you never quite knew what to expect. He captured our attention, with his quietness. His movements seemed to carry even more impact as they emerged out of a calm stillness. Hummmmm.

And periodically throughout the autumn I visited philosophical realms with “Dressage in the Fourth Dimension” written by Dr. Sherry Ackerman, a professor of philosophy who is also a dressage rider. An excerpt on sacred geometry:

“All movement begins with its antithesis, immobility. The dot, in ancient cosmologies, represented universal consciousness – the source of all things . . . in . . . dressage, we participate in the dot through the fully engaged halt. We sit, perfectly motionless in poised collection . . . as long as we do not disturb the collection, the horse remains prepared . . . for instantaneous movement in any direction . . . we sit in a stream of consciousness: the motion of immobility.”

So, lately when I get on a horse, or step onto the aikido mat, or find myself in a crowded subway or on a congested New York City street, I am very interested in the component of stillness within the activity -- how to be still without becoming tense. How does my presence affect my horse, or my training partners on the mat? Do others become more manageable or react differently to me when I stay quietly in touch with my center? Where is the neutral place where harmony begins? Hummmmm.

Shown above, Annelie sits quietly connected to the canter of one of the largest horses I have seen her ride, an enormous Cleveland Bay she rode at his owners request at the Centered Riding Clinic at Thorncroft Therapeutic Riding Center. She recently attempted to describe to me the sense of stillness that is possible on a beautifully moving horse; apparently you feel that you are doing nothing, but in reality there is a lot going on!

tuning the body

2009-11-29T20:23:00.021-05:00

As I began to research the history of a movement art which has excited my imagination, the roots of what is today known as Rhythmic Gymnastics proved to be intertwined with many aspects of my personal past: artistic gymnastics, music and dance of course, but more surprisingly I found that it grew from musical pedagogies such as Dalcroze Eurythmics, Orff and Kodaly methods and the Eurythmy developed by Rudolf Steiner. Further connection is made to even more esoteric influences such as the Gurdjieff Movements and various types of sacred dance considered a form of yoga in India, created to act out events of a cosmic nature.

The idea that the human body can mirror a cosmic perfection, precisely trained and tuned to express universal principles is quite fascinating. Exposure to the systems and ideas noted above, as well as practical immersion in the discoveries of F.M. Alexander has given me a taste for the potential of movement practices to expand self-knowledge, consciousness and awareness. These are also the aspects of aikido training which continue to enthrall – the pure physics involved as well as the opportunity to open my perspective and refine the use of myself.

Initially I was somewhat surprised at the depth of my obsession with this incredible art form, called a sport by some – but as I delved into its development it began to make sense, as it grew from various methods designed to teach the principles of music through expressive movement, or gymnastic exercizes to develop grace, flexibility and good posture. If only I had known about this when I was a young gymnast I thought -- however the first world championship was held in Budapest in 1963 and its first Olympic appearance was not until 1984 -- so my childhood gymnastics career was premature.

The artist who has completely captured my attention is Anna Bessonova, still apparently reaching her peak at the ripe old age of 25 (most others stop competing by their early twenties). She is a world super-star as you will soon discover if you take even a cursory look on the internet, and her statuesque power, dramatic range and breathtaking precision are utterly captivating. Yes, these are superhuman feats she is executing, but we can all learn something kinesthetically by enjoying her artistry.

Anna Bessonova is shown above competing with the hoop, one of the five (yes count them, five) different apparatus which must be mastered. By viewing close to one hundred of her performances, I have chosen a favorite routine in each discipline, should you care to observe more of her expressive range: the ball, the clubs, the ribbon, and the rope. In aikido we use wooden weapons to extend and clarify our body movements and our “open-handed” techniques; I find her self-mastery awe inspiring, and when you factor in the external objects whose laws she must also incorporate, it’s almost too much to comprehend!

a thing of beauty

2009-11-23T17:22:00.006-05:00

My process in learning to ride has eerily paralleled my beginning years of aikido training. Idealism held sway over practical matters, sometimes resulting in rude awakenings. Tears often took me off the mat in those first years, but not once did I ever consider giving up on my training. For my first riding lesson, I was placed on a 17-hand Percheron cross who decided to get rid of me midway through the hour, and while shaken, I was quite certain that it would take more than that to keep me from learning to ride horses.

Now in my third year of riding I am very thankful that my background and idealism led me early on to the pedagogy of Centered Riding® where I have received incredible benefits from learning its principles. However, I have become aware that my understanding of some of the basic concepts of equitation is lacking. It would be as if studying the Alexander Technique could produce a fabulous violinist without ever taking violin lessons, or that someone could learn the art of aikido without mastering ikkyo, nikkyo, sankyo, etc. -- the techniques through which the art is taught.

So recently, in order to continue my equestrian education, I have been applying myself to the study of “The Principles of Riding” – The Official Instruction Handbook of the German National Equestrian Federation. Initially, I believed that this book might be a bit dry, and would lack the integrated and creative approach I find so appealing in the Centered Riding® methods. To the contrary, I am currently captivated as I find answers to many of my questions using this clear, time-honored and systematic approach. Now that I have accumulated some riding experience of my own, I seem finally ready for a good dose of technical information.

Just as it has taken many years of often strenuous and repetitious aikido training to allow me to experience the finesse and expression I craved from the very beginning, I sense that the aesthetic qualities which draw me to the equestrian arts are also quite far from my grasp and require years of dedicated practice to even begin to approach. Interestingly, this doesn’t seem to curb my enthusiasm in the least – a feeling not experienced since those early years in aikido.

At the end of one of my favorite sections of the book entitled ‘The Co-ordination of the Aids,’ which builds on the previous detailed descriptions of rein, leg and seat aids, I was very pleased to find the final paragraph which emphatically states: “When a rider has developed the seat as described, it is easily recognized for its artistic and aesthetic beauty.” (emphasis mine)

Enjoy the video above which demonstrates great artistry through nearly invisible technique in the partnership of Edward Gal (NED) and Moorlands Totilas as they set a new world record score of 92.300% in London, 2009.

the tao of silk

2009-11-22T20:40:00.016-05:00

Ten years ago, a close friend of mine took a trip to Japan with a group of aikido students led by Yamada Sensei, and ever since I have been hearing tales of an aikido teacher they encountered there. Apparently all of the women students were particularly smitten with Endo Sensei, recognizing in him an elegance, subtlety, and sophistication of technique sometimes lacking in the martial arts. His teaching style is also somewhat uncommon – he lets everyone feel what he is doing, by moving around the mat and working with each student. The consensus opinion seemed to be – he’s so smooth – you really have to feel it!

Over the years I didn’t pay much attention to her periodic ravings -- I felt she certainly must be exaggerating, carried away by the exoticism of Japan. Finally I decided to take a look for myself and found the video above. My first impression was a very visceral response to the magically soft and enveloping quality of the interaction he creates with his uke. Somehow smooth doesn’t fully describe it – silken, might come closer.

In addition to its luxurious sheen, softness and luminosity, silk also has incredible tensile strength and structural integrity, as well as insulating properties and the ability to return to shape even if stretched up to 25% of its original length. Silk is apparently not only seductively soft, it’s strong and resilient as well.

Watching Endo Sensei over and over again, I began to sense how powerful his softness must feel to those receiving his techniques. There is really no discernible “moment of contact” as he draws his attacker into his own sphere. We experience it in good aikido training as an undertow, a feeling of the rug being pulled from under us, being sucked into a vortex. He certainly retains his structural integrity – he remains quietly imperturbable. From an Alexander Technique perspective he doesn’t interfere in the least with his own ease of coordination as he initiates movement from his center. Seductive (from Latin, literally ‘to lead astray’) is also another way to look at the quality of his movement.

Even more fascinating to scientists than the silk from silkworms is the silk produced by spiders. Visit the link to see an amazing Spider Silk Tapestry woven in Madagascar from the drag-line silk of a species of golden orb-weaving spider. According to it’s creators it’s a very unusual material: “we never broke a single strand, yet the tapestry is as soft as cashmere.”

“For its weight, spider silk is stronger than steel, but—unlike steel—it can stretch up to 40% of its normal length.” from the exhibit description at the American Museum of Natural History.

a fine romance

2009-11-20T14:53:00.012-05:00

She handed off the little red horse to me, all the while cataloguing the litany of his sins and faults: ‘stubborn, you’ll have to crop him, then he’ll try to buck you off, he only wants to follow the others, then he will settle down – he likes to jump [whoa! – my class isn’t jumping yet!], his canter’s just ok’ . . . all this had apparently made for a very frustrating previous hour’s class for her. I smiled and thanked her and led Junior back to center ring to make our fresh start.

Somehow, I knew that there was another side to the story and I sensed that we were going to be able to “work things out”, me and Junior. After all, I was now in Intermediate Level 1 and our level is all about becoming independent, the leader of your horse. However, as soon as I mounted young Junior (he’s only 9 -- young compared to most of the horses I’m given to ride, 20 or so on average) I felt him settle into a determined stillness. Undaunted, I asked with my leg, repeated, spoke firmly “walk on” as I asked more insistently, eventually adding crop to leg. Junior remained absolutely immobile and then, as predicted by my predecessor, he kicked up his heels and somewhat halfheartedly tried to buck me off. For some reason all of this amused me and I sat quietly on him, asking again, willing him forward with all my best intentions.

My teacher Martha mentioned that I would need to use everything I had ever heard in the Centered Riding® clinics to be successful with Junior; she also mentioned that I was already doing much better with him than the previous “advanced” level rider! I felt myself swell with pride, but pretended to take it in stride. That type of comment, properly timed, can certainly build confidence, and since Martha is not known to hand those out routinely, it enhanced the effect and I took it to heart. Center, breathe, soft eyes, ease and release the neck, don’t react, just repeat.

In fits and starts we began to walk. Still determined to show my independence and leadership, I asked him to circle away from the group in the large outdoor ring. A dead stop followed and we began again. Hummmm, she did mention that he liked to follow the other horses, so I decided to let him see the others as we picked up a trot; once we established our rhythm and he was fast approaching the rear of the horse ahead I guided him to cross the ring, determined to keep my clear intent. And cross the ring is just what we did, blending smoothly in to trot merrily along the rail.

With a matchmaker’s skill, Martha casually dropped a few choice comments: he’s always been one of her favorites, he’s just a big teddy bear, and the not-so-subtle wouldn’t you two look great galloping around together . . . love was in the air. Seriously, once we got moving, Junior was a very nice little horse (little is a relative term where a few hundred pounds here or there define the gradations). I felt very comfortable with him, felt his appreciation for my sensitive yet firm approach, my compassion for him, and my good-natured acceptance of his just being a horse, testing me because that is what they do!

This week, after our second class together, I began to wonder about my beloved – is he a chestnut, or maybe a sorrel, yes that sounds romantic – he could be a sorrel. (No, Martha says he is a chestnut!). Memories surfaced of the curiosity that comes along with courtship . . . it is a kind of love affair, isn’t it?

No, that is not Junior shown above, but another redhead: Annelie’s chestnut mare Abby who I had the pleasure of meeting during my first year of riding. Easy-going Abby knew I was a “pushover” at that point and took advantage of my green-ness to eat all the grass she wanted as I delicately attempted to persuade her otherwise!

always saddle your own horse

2009-11-17T21:40:00.010-05:00

My aikido and horse riding friend from Boston, Midge, emailed me a very tempting video -- somehow I had a feeling that it would be better to wait and watch it in the comfort of my own home. So tonight I sat down to enjoy the trailer of the American Cowgirl, and cried like a baby through all three viewings so far.

Really touching is the profile of 101-year-young Connie Reeves, who at that age was still riding every day!

“The past is dead unless somebody records it…my life’s not important to very many people. But, what I have done may be something that will motivate someone else. I hope so.” - Connie Reeves

From the story “A Cowgirl’s Final Ride” in the St. Petersburg Times Floridian, published at her death:

"Initially she meant just that: 'Saddle your own horse, develop a relationship with your horse,' said Meg Clark. But as with everything that Connie said, it had a much greater meaning, just as her life did. Ultimately, what she meant was: 'Take responsibility for your life. Saddle your own horse and live that life the way you choose to.'"

Enjoy the trailer embedded above and visit the American Cowgirl website to read the many wonderful stories and see the great photographs by creator Jamie Williams.

nothing doing

2009-11-16T16:02:00.025-05:00

As soon as I finished telling my student that the Alexander Technique does not prescribe specific exercises, I realized that he might be very interested in something called “constructive rest.” Sometimes called an “Alexander Lie-Down” and often used by AT teachers, it came originally from the world of Ideokinesis. Here is a link to one good description of the process on the website of Andrea Matthews, soprano and AT teacher.

Constructive rest, in its purest form -- simply lying down once or twice a day for 5-20 minutes in the described position and allowing gravity to do the work of releasing holding patterns and excess tension can be quite revealing, refreshing and restorative. The addition of simple suggestions, such as to allow the neck to be free, can enhance the procedure, as long as we do not add a component of trying to accomplish something -- nothing doing!

Basic procedure:

“Lie on your back, bend your knees to about 90 degrees, and place your feet on the floor in line with your hip sockets, 12 to 16 inches from your buttocks. Be careful not to flatten or exaggerate the curves in either your lumbar (lower back) or cervical (neck) spine. Rest your hands and forearms on your rib cage or on your pelvis. In this position, you don't need to perform any muscular action. Gravity will do the work. Shift your awareness to the support of your bones. Begin by sensing the weight of your bones sinking down toward the floor. Take note of any part of your skeleton that feels as though it is suspended, any place where the muscular contraction prevents the bones from surrendering to the pull of gravity. Gradually, the distribution of weight will start to feel increasingly even throughout your body.” --Adapted from Liz Koch, the psoas expert

Try it for a few minutes a day and see what you notice. I’ve found constructive rest useful in bringing me a more refined awareness of my back and the space behind me (horse riders, you understand the importance of that!) and also for showing me the positive effects of gravity while sensing the skeleton as the body’s active support (in contrast to our habitual patterns which usually attempt to hold the body with muscular effort).

Turns out, my catchy title is also the name of the last book of poetry by Cid Corman, Nothing/Doing, in which I discovered this apropos piece:

Just resting –

letting the

breezes make

something of

a body.

The concept of non-doing, so foreign to our goal and achievement-oriented culture, is expressed in the Japanese calligraphy ”mu” above: “Nothingness is not an absence of being; it is the fullness of existence that brings forth all things. One meaning of MU is not to be captivated or beguiled by this or that; the way of Zen is found within the interplay of "no" and "yes," "nothingness" and "fullness."

turning inside out

2009-11-13T09:12:00.016-05:00

“Look same outside, different inside . . .” Sugano Sensei has been known to say, as he attempts to convey to us that there is a lot more to aikido than meets the eye!

Last weekend, as we once again gathered together for the annual USAF Winter Camp sponsored by Florida Aikikai, we could not have been blessed with three more unique master teachers (shihan) than Yamada Sensei, Sugano Sensei and Shibata Sensei. As the three days of training unfolded and one class blended into two or three or even more each day, I was struck not only by the obvious similarities of technique but particularly by the individuality of each Sensei’s style -- both teaching style and “personality” -- all so different, but all with a larger-than-life quality shining through as they demonstrated aikido’s underlying principles to us in a seemingly endless array of variations. It was a banquet of beautiful aikido created using high-quality ingredients and I wanted to devour all of it.

I chuckled to myself, remembering Sugano Sensei’s favorite phrase. We might be effecting a tolerable imitation of their demonstration but how thoroughly did we really understand the interaction, how often were we able to embody the movement? Even when we managed to look pretty darn good, what was happening on the inside? These are questions I kept asking myself as one class after another reinforced the same themes.

My personal impressions: Yamada Sensei – large sweeping movements, classicism and dynamism; Sugano Sensei – explosive timing, precision and philosophy; and Shibata Sensei - extraordinary improvisation, bending time and setting the tempo at will, as the various ukes became the instruments for his jazz riffs on technique. Each Sensei fully embodies the principles of nature which under lie the art and that seems to allow them tremendous freedom of expression and spontaneity.

Hour after hour we stepped back out on the mats, savoring all that our Senseis were offering us, not wanting to miss an opportunity to receive it directly from them. I resorted alternately to icing my knee and visiting the Jacuzzi, eating extra protein, falling into bed early, waking up each morning ready for more. By Sunday afternoon we had passed beyond fatigue to that place where training continues somehow, after class has ended.

Our three master teachers who manifest aikido so differently are ironically, I reflected, actually “different outside, same inside!”

As usual, a truly amazing array of aikidoists attended the Florida Winter Camp this year and one new friend from California – an eye surgeon who loves to surf – described to me how photographers capture some of those incredible surfing pictures: the hard way, by hanging out, floating in the waves, possibly getting “turned inside out” in the process of getting the shots! The atmospheric photo shown above was discovered as I “surfed” the web for inspiration on “inside out.”

the weaker sex

2009-11-01T07:25:00.011-05:00

Entertaining as it may be, this film clip from the 1930’s actually demonstrates beautifully the fundamental principles of the martial arts. O’Sensei synthesized elements of ju-jitsu, judo and traditional swordsmanship, and incorporated his spiritual outlook and practices into what he called the art of aikido.

Ms. May Whitley has style and grace -- balance, timing and proper distance, she uses her lowered center of gravity, she works with whatever attack comes her way -- all the while holding her purse and keeping her hair in place. I love her matter-of-fact approach. She is not full of ego or grand gestures, but has a kind of quiet and natural composure which can be “dis-arming” in and of itself. She also demonstrates a refreshing economy and simplicity of movement.

As a senior woman on the aikido mat I often have to find creative ways to adapt myself to my male training partners who sometimes assume that they are entitled to boss me around, for any number of reasons, which you can probably well-imagine even in these terribly enlightened times in which men and women are supposed to be living!

Usually I choose to let my actions speak louder than words -- the iron-fist-in-the-velvet-glove kind of approach, meaning that I focus, soften and clarify my technique, leaving no room for superfluous comments. Aikido is really an art where women may excel and the feminine, receptive, flexible and intuitive parts of our natures serve us well – if we allow them expression and trust in their power.

Make no mistake, proper aikido training will make you “strong”, but it is not external, muscular force which confers its power. Timing, distance, calmness, expanded awareness, softness on the outside with reduced internal tension all allow access to the expression of contained inner energy – these are the qualities which set it apart from common forms of physical training and exercize and which also make it an art.

Proper aikido training will also I believe strengthen in each of us the aspect we are lacking in our masculine/feminine balance. Soft strength, power without force, subtlety of timing, expanded awareness – these are qualities I value and why women are particularly valuable as aikidoists, when we begin to be able to express the powerful qualities of “the weaker sex.”

This one is for Aleksandra, of course not because she belongs to the weaker sex, but because I promised to share this video with her almost a year ago. Aleks happens to be the most enthusiastic aikido student I have ever had the pleasure to know. She is not only energetic, she is truly passionate about learning and extremely open and receptive. Her infectious enthusiasm always brings a breath of fresh air to the dojo.

alchemy

2009-10-17T08:19:00.014-04:00

1. a form of chemistry and speculative philosophy . . . concerned principally with discovering methods for transmuting baser metals into gold and with finding . . . an elixir of life.

2. any magical power or process of transmuting a common substance, usually of little value, into a substance of great value.

Somehow my imagination has been captured by the magic of the precious metals – silver and gold, silver and gold…they seem to be everywhere! I even woke in the night hearing in my mind the repeating round known to every Girl Scout: ‘make new friends, but keep the old – one is silver and the other gold.’ Over and over, silver and gold . . . what does it mean?

Autumn is always a bittersweet time of the year for me, and now especially so -- a foretaste of endings and promise of new beginnings to come -- eventually. I’m enjoying the last days of lingering light, fluttering golden leaves in Central Park and the final touches of warmth here in New York – and, to my astonishment, I’ve somehow fallen in love with the City again after months of wishing to be elsewhere.

Such an unusually challenging year has passed since my last entry “called back to basics” and I’ve been recently yearning to share and write again, particularly as the past month has been so full of important experiences -- aikido seminars and Alexander Technique immersions, and of course, horse riding. Much is shifting in my concept of riding, my awareness and in my own body mechanics -- the synergy between all my passionate pursuits feels luxurious right now. As always, the passage through difficulty has transported me to the present, where, in contrast, my current circumstances seem especially rich.

This year, I’ve also experienced the shadow side of power, in politics and manipulation. And as long as we are human beings living on earth the shadow will be contained in all our experiences, all of our so-called elevated endeavors and enlightened groups. Silver – could it represent the shadow side, the silver of reflected moonlight contrasted with the true and direct golden light of the sun? I have usually chosen to ignore the shadow side of life, in others, and in myself.

Now I have begun to see the power and beauty of embracing both aspects, shadow and light, silver and gold. One is silver and the other – gold. How could it be otherwise? They are most fully appreciated in relation to each other. They ebb and flow, the proportion of one to the other shifting and changing. Acknowledgement of the shadow, and non-resistance, begin the process of transmutation.

A photographer friend pointed out that colors seem so much more vivid on an overcast day. The gilded artwork depicting O’Sensei was radiant and the autumn leaves outside the window equally so on the cool and gray weekend we spent with Patricia Hendricks at her recent seminar at ASNJ. Pat is a real treasure – powerful yet soft, her teaching is infused with warmth, compassion and humility. She fully demonstrates martial application while incorporating larger philosophical concepts using her mastery of the Japanese language.

called back to basics

2008-11-11T12:35:00.015-05:00

Above is a photo of my home office showing the place where I (used to) sit each morning, catching up on emails, sipping coffee, watching the sunrise over lower Manhattan. . . If I had been sitting there yesterday morning around 9:00 am, I am not certain I would be writing this now.

My experiences at the Centered Riding International Educational Symposium in Brattleboro, Vermont this past weekend confirmed my feeling that it is time to expand the structure of this cyber “space” I have so enjoyed inhabiting. Although the events of yesterday put a slight kink in my plans, stay tuned for two additional spaces with links here (to follow). One will present information and capture reflections specific to the Alexander Technique and another separate space will do the same for Aikido.

In the meantime, below are links to pertinent entries on this blog regarding the Alexander Technique (you can also view the blog by category – choose one from the sidebar, or you can search using the box in the upper left-hand corner). The Alexander Technique bibliography provided at the Symposium, as well as the visual essay I used to illustrate the concept of "use of self" are available HERE . See Website Links in the sidebar for some Alexander Technique-related websites of interest.

This morning, I awoke before dawn and drank my coffee sitting on the floor of my study, reflecting on the scene before me. The debris had not been touched and I was trying to glean something from the juxtaposition of the books (formerly from the top three wall-to-wall shelves above my desk which had come tumbling down). I saw it as a kind of casting of the Runes. What message might I decipher by meditating on how the titles had arranged themselves? Their subjects differed, but they were all somehow related: Albinus on Anatomy, Light on Yoga, The Ease of Being, A Course in Miracles, Beelzebub’s Tales to his Grandson, Vibrational Medicine, The Practice of Freedom, to name only a few. It struck me that this could have been a close call -- or maybe it was a wake-up call.

The Symposium was so very rich with inspiration and information and supportive friends, new and old. I was extremely honored (and more than a bit intimidated) to be sharing the Alexander Technique portion, along with an amazing group of presenters on other bodywork modalities, consisting mainly of senior Centered Riding instructors – all incredibly knowledgeable and highly creative and seasoned teachers. I learned a lot and, in addition, for me it was a call back to basics – a call to get back on the mat and renew my Aikido training which has been interrupted by a stint of PT rehab for a shoulder injury; a call to continue to deepen my understanding of Centered Riding and an impetus to continue to grow in my teaching and expand my relationships with my Alexander colleagues in the wider world.

Entries with an Alexander Technique perspective:

a moment, with Marj

fitness without stress

mind like water

weaving in the threads

axis mundi

imprisoned splendour

swing time

better living through imagery

harmony – includes video of aikido women instructors (myself included!)

gypsy in my soul

2008-11-01T19:49:00.013-04:00

Around Halloween especially, I fondly remember my Grandma Pauline, who always took such great joy in preparing us for this particular holiday, with its pagan roots. She was certainly a colorful character in my life, in stark contrast to my other grandparents who will have a dedicated entry with a photo which should be titled "American Gothic." When I shared this poem with my mother several years ago, she commented, "well, you know, it's all true!"

Last night, as I traveled home on the subway after working late, the car filled with an amazing assortment of creatively costumed New Yorkers of varying ages, I recalled my poem of remembrance and the photo of her shown above, inherited on a recent trip to the Midwest.

Pauline

my father’s mother loved to dress us up as gypsies

traveled with the carnival, hair always permed and red, toenails too
first husband alcoholic, second husband flew hot air balloons
but was killed in a car accident

wore Tabu and costume jewelry with rhinestones and plastic feathers
sewed her own clothes -- I remember that chartreuse polyester blouse
a zipper up the front, a gold metallic fish dangling from the tab

watched religiously The Edge of Night and As the World Turns
barmaid by profession, smoked and drank beer
had a series of Pekinese dogs, each one bad with children
and always named “Ty-Gee”

lived in a trailer surrounded by her garden
philodendrons in donkey-with-cart planters
were trained to grow around the entire inside
of that place

gold plaster elephants up on hind legs trunks curled
matte finish with tiny shiny drops all over them
lived on either side of her couch
a framed print torn from a calendar:
dogs around a table playing poker

she often wore a two-piece bathing suit

once a year we put on the red tiered skirts
with pink and turquoise rickrack trim
draped in scarves, hair flowing free
we became her gypsy band

husky voice, laughed a lot
she lived her gypsy life

and she told me I had rosebud lips
as she painted them bright and deep

like the wind

2008-10-24T11:31:00.015-04:00

The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears
~ Arabian Proverb ~

“How did you ride last night? Someone will invariably ask me this on a Wednesday, since many of my friends know how much I cherish my Tuesday evening rides at Lord Stirling Stable. Sometimes I laugh and report that I drew “Garfield” the pony and he really got the best of me – say no more! But sometimes I answer with “I rode like the wind”, only half-joking, because when you first learn to canter and you join with the horse’s motion taking you ‘round and ‘round the big outdoor ring in the crisp autumn air – that is really how it feels. And never more so than last night, riding my favorite paint horse, “Amigo.” A cold front moving through with a brisk wind gusting from the north roused the horses out of their usual subdued states and we had an especially lively class, yet without incident.

It was a ride where things “came together” and everything simply felt good. I seemed to have chosen just the proper clothes, the right number of layers to keep me cozy, yet still able to enjoy the freshness and the exhilaration of the wind. My stirrups seemed the perfect length, my hip joints flexible, my pelvis relaxed, my center low and my attention easily re-centering me when necessary. Time and space opened up and I found I could play with noticing how soft my joints could become on the down of the posting trot or could remind myself to free my neck, soften my eyes, breathe – and smile! No worries intruded and I found myself to be very present. No fear welled up, as sometimes happens -- old scares triggered by a fast trot or sudden movement of the horse. Last night I felt calm and fearless.

When you sit astride a 1,000 pound creature and sense the power and grace contained within, you know you are interacting with a “force of nature” -- an expression sometimes used to describe a gifted athlete or a person of great charisma. You begin to realize the wisdom in cooperative leadership -- blending with, going with, joining with or becoming as one and then exploring how to assert influence and give direction without disturbing that connection.

The dust swirled in miniature tornadoes and stray fallen leaves danced around cheerfully. My mood seemed to feed on the energy and I savored the experience throughout the hour, hoping to prolong the special time, sensing the ephemeral quality. On the walk to the car before the drive back into Manhattan, I usually take a look around and appreciate the peace of Lord Stirling Park. This week my gaze wandered somewhat wistfully out toward the lights in the distant ring where others had taken our place and were now riding . . . like the wind.

“Air is not one of the traditional five Chinese classical elements. Nevertheless, the ancient Chinese concept of Qi or chi is believed to be close to that of air. Qi . . . also ch'i or ki (in Japanese romanization), is a fundamental concept of traditional Chinese culture. Qi is believed to be part of every living thing that exists, as a kind of 'life force' or ‘spiritual energy’. It is frequently translated as ‘energy flow’, or literally as ‘air’ or ‘breath’. (For example, ‘tiānqì’, literally ‘sky breath’, is the ordinary Chinese word for ‘weather’).” – From Wikipedia

Searching for a photo to capture my feelings, I found an image from the website of a family living in the San Francisco Bay Area -- here one of their teenage daughters lives my dream of galloping down an open beach (photo cropping and enhancement mine).

mind like water

2008-10-07T15:38:00.016-04:00

For many years the background image on my Alexander Technique business card has been a beautiful “water drop” photo, suggesting the expansion of awareness and energy which takes place in a person who applies the principles of the technique in their activities. By taking a split-second to notice the possibility of ease where the head rests atop the spine, at the moment just before a movement is initiated, the quality of the movement can be substantially improved.

“Mind like water” is also a metaphor used in the martial arts to describe an ideal state of quiet readiness. It is similar to the Chinese concept of Wu Wei, which was discussed here under “The Power of Connection,” and speaks about appropriate levels of effort and proper timing as well. David Allen uses it in his next-generation time management method which has achieved a near-cult-like following, “Getting Things Done” (aka GTD). His system holds the promise that it is possible to both stay relaxed and accomplish meaningful things with minimal effort. GTD provides tools and concepts which, when practically applied, help keep our minds empty of extraneous detail so we can function from that calm, still place. From the book:

“Imagine throwing a pebble into a still pond. How does the water respond? The answer is, totally appropriately to the force and mass of the input; then it returns to calm. It doesn’t overreact or underreact. . . . Anything that causes you to overreact or underreact can control you. . . .Most people either give more or less attention to things than they deserve, simply because they don’t operate with a ‘mind like water.’”

I have long known that Alexander’s discovery brings us the possibility of choice – how will we respond to a stimulus? According to habit? Or will we remember to take a moment and allow the possibility of a different response to emerge? Will we react out of habit and will that cause us to have an over-reaction, an under-reaction or make an appropriate response? Learning the Alexander Technique is a process of finding the moments of potential which occur immediately before a change in activity and developing the dexterity to take a split-second and notice ease before making our response.

Those of you who are involved with horses will recognize that learning to make the appropriate response at the proper moment with just the right level of energy forms the basis of the interaction we have with them which is called “riding.” In the best moments of my aikido training, I find that calm place where I can blend smoothly with my attacker. Many years of re-training my initial reaction to an oncoming aggressive movement allows me to choose a calm, appropriate and effective response. Time spent on the aikido mat reprogramming reactions carries over into my daily life. Having a practical foundation in the Alexander Technique has certainly influenced my martial arts training and I am hoping, and beginning to find, that creating space for an appropriate response is teaching me a lot about horses.

In the above photo, taken with my iPhone last autumn from our kayak on the lake at Mohonk Mountain House, the still water responds with subtle rhythmic movements and a lovely reflection of the stunning surrounding foliage.

look into their eyes

2008-09-11T13:46:00.016-04:00

The platform and the cars of the subway were eerily empty this morning – quite a contrast to yesterday’s crushing commute when New Yorkers exhibited not-their-best behavior, pushing into the packed train and tossing rude comments back and forth. This morning, before I left the house, we exchanged a few words: “you know it’s 9/11, yes, I’m running late, the subway has been a nightmare, not looking forward to that, call you later" etc. My preoccupations kept me from kissing him goodbye.

As soon as I hit the street I felt it. The past few years I’ve tried to pretend that this day could be just like any other day again. But it never is and the tears welled up, as they invariably do, and I headed down into the subway, wondering what I would find. Wouldn’t you know that I found I missed them, all of those New Yorkers. Where was everyone today? Were they afraid to ride the train, right at this time, the time the first plane hit? Were they home watching the ceremonies at Ground Zero on TV? Were they grieving loved ones lost?

As I took stock of the other riders I wondered if we should be nervous. Was I imagining the mood to be somber? Remember, after 9/11, when you could sit on the train and cry, and know you wouldn’t be alone in that -- not have to feel awkward or know why you were crying. We were all crying in our own way. And during that time we actually looked at each other. You felt you could speak to people and you knew you could ask for help if you needed it. You knew you would give help, if asked. The world had changed and New Yorkers started looking into each others eyes.

“Shouldn’t we be doing something special today?” my co-worker asked this morning, her eyes reddening as she turned to her calculations and spreadsheets. I said I might meet a friend for coffee – someone I had watched the TV with at work as the second plane hit that day. We had left the office together and bought flip-flops for the long walk home. She talked about her best friend from high school whose brother died in the Towers, seven years ago. He would have children by now she mused -- he had been engaged to be married. We all know someone. Each year we hear the stories, old and new.

Tonight at home when I stand quietly at a south-facing window and look downtown, I’ll see the gap in the skyline, filled this week with the beautiful and symbolic tower of light. I’ll remember the heavy smoke and the long-lingering odor of that dark time. And I suspect, like many New Yorkers, the day will have been marked yet again by a very personal mourning and reflection and possibly a remembrance of the softening and opening of our hearts, and our eyes.

The photo above was taken to promote a recital my daughter sang in June, 2002. We were not trying to capture the flag which appears on the subway car, but somehow it seemed appropriate – a full year had not yet passed since 9/11 and a certain special patriotism was still very much apparent here in New York.

Hear her album "Maya's Idyll" here.

weaving in the threads

2008-09-04T06:37:00.012-04:00

Right about this time last year, I was still quite intoxicated from that first Centered Riding® Clinic, which was attended when I could almost still count my riding lessons on one hand, and I had to think about how to hold the reins each time I got on the horse. I knew that Centered Riding would change my life, but could never have imagined the depth of the process which was initiated over those four days.

Many of the patient teachers I met then have become my instructors at Lord Stirling Stable and the clinician, Gail Field, has become a friend, Alexander Technique colleague and riding mentor. The early entries on this blog document my meeting with the infamous Annelie, now my dear friend, horse riding idol and most recently, aikido protégé. More than one fellow aikidoist has been inspired by my stories of learning to ride. One has started Centered Riding lessons herself, riding again for the first time in over 30 years.

Last year, one of my aikido women role models, Karen De Paola (Skylands Aikikai), visited me at the Lord Stirling clinic and immediately saw the correlations between the groundwork tools and aikido principles and began making connections to specific aikido techniques. She gave me the timely opportunity to teach at her dojo that evening – a precious hour to take some of what I had been so eagerly absorbing in the riding arena onto the aikido mat. And so the year continued -- with synergy and synchronicity abounding.

It has been a year full of new friendships, renewed relationships, reconnecting important pieces from my past, and integrating parts of myself. I have been very fortunate to attend a variety of Centered Riding clinics and to meet the founder, Sally Swift, last November at the International Symposium in Vermont. So, it was a very happy anniversary last week as I once again attended Gail’s annual clinic at Lord Stirling. This year she asked me to assist her with some hands-on Alexander Technique, I traveled back and forth with Annelie and hosted her at my house, we spent each day in an arena which has come to feel like home and I rode a now-familiar horse.

This process of learning to ride seems to be weaving together all the various threads of my life. It has reminded me of long-forgotten childhood experiences, reconnected me to old colleagues and friends and enhanced and reinvigorated my aikido training. A recent email from a new Alexander Technique mentor, Tommy Thompson, spoke to me about “following your thread carefully” – it's a metaphor which has particular meaning for me now.

Karen De Paola is shown in the video (Part 1) above, taken during an aikido demonstration at the Hoboken Aikikai last autumn (watch Part 2 to see the action escalate!). When she mentions that she “read some things” I know that one thing she read was the book “Centered Riding” by Sally Swift. Karen has always been a great inspiration to me – she embodies the qualities of calm, relaxed concentration and stillness within movement which are so important in martial arts, horse riding and living!

welcome to middle-earth

2008-08-22T08:00:00.013-04:00

photo © Asni
It is dusk on a perfect evening in late summer, a full orange moon is rising, and we are leaving the confines of Lord Stirling Stable, heading down a broad grassy path, past the outdoor riding rings, towards the trail system at the far edge of the property. It’s getting darker by the minute.

The night is balmy, the humidity is down and so are the bugs, except for a couple of “bombers,” the huge flies which like to plague both horses and riders. We have our orders: let them land on your horse, smack them with a flat palm, and then, if possible, squish them -- luckily, only our instructor executes that maneuver! We turn our attention to the bats which flitter above us. A screech owl calls from the distance and rabbits stop frozen in their tracks.

We shift our weight forward to make it easier for the horses to climb the steep hill which leads up into the trees. As we enter, I am surprised that we can see anything at all inside – am I still in New Jersey? My eyes adjust and suddenly transported, I find myself in a fern-carpeted forest – majestic, yet intimate. The horses seem content but not overly-impressed – after all it’s not their first trail ride.

We approach a tangle of trees, following our instructor as she weaves through them – a rustic obstacle course. My horse trips, stumbles deeply, but regains his balance. As a slight squeak of surprise escapes my lips, the teacher reminds us that we must always keep our eyes up on the trail, shining out like car headlights on high-beam. And we must keep our awareness of our center low and close to the horse.

Lord Stirling Park borders The Great Swamp, a 7,500 acre wildlife preserve. Our instructor makes sure to let us know that we are approaching the area known as the hiding place of the Devil of the Great Swamp, and some of the younger set of riders express an uncharacteristic hesitation to continue on -- usually they want to do nothing but canter like mad around the inside arena. However, soon we are trotting, up the trail, through the dark, ducking the low-hanging branches and marveling at ourselves -- at least I am! And I am incredibly relaxed despite it all.

Riding a horse out in nature – somehow this feels just perfect. Then I realize it is also distantly familiar, reminiscent of the ponies we used to rent from the neighboring farmer for 50¢ during those childhood summers at Clear Lake -- we would ride them through the woods bareback, by ourselves, on the unkempt trails, before the era of helmets or waiver forms. Sometimes they would brush us off against a tree and simply trot back to the barn.

Tolkien said that "Middle-earth was not at a physically distant time, but rather 'at a different stage of imagination.'" Now, just as I celebrate the one-year anniversary of that first clinic, which introduced me to both Centered Riding® and Lord Stirling Stable, I begin to imagine a whole new dimension of riding.

The lovely photo above captures the mystical quality I experienced when we first entered the forest. “It was just like something out of Lord of the Rings” I told my friends. Sure enough, I somehow found the image I was looking for in the work of Asni -- harpist, photographer and Tolkien aficionado currently living in New Zealand (photo above taken in Germany and used with her permission). Please visit her website to see her other beautiful images and listen to her magical music, including her new album "Travels in Middle-earth."

tally ho with Balimo™

2008-08-21T10:39:00.013-04:00

What a great opportunity I thought when I noticed the clinic announcement on the Equestrian Education Systems (EES) website early last spring – and it was! For the past week or so I have been digesting some of the rich experience of attending the “Seat Symposium” which was held at Gleneden Dressage in Bedford, New York and conducted by Eckart Meyners, German sports physiologist and professor at the Institute for Leisure Research, Play and Movement Education (sounds like fun!) at the University of Luneburg, Germany.

Mr. Meyners is also the inventor of the Balance in Motion or “Balimo™” chair, a fascinating balance and flexibility training tool. However, I discovered over the course of the weekend that learning to use the Balimo chair is only a small part of his method for working with riders. Drawing upon the work of Moshé Feldenkrais he uses deceptively simple movement sequences to re-program habitual patterns of body use. The process creates more fluid, supple and responsive riders – evidenced both in the improved movement of the horse under saddle and the increased harmony between rider and horse.

Having now experienced Mr. Meyners’ work in person, his books are proving evermore useful and inspiring. Here is a passage which so captured my attention that I missed my subway stop! It’s another piece of the puzzle which has challenged me – how to feel grounded and stable atop the horse:

“The rider’s inner eye . . . should feel the weight of the head traveling down through the center of the body, gaining weight from the body as it goes downward. When this weight reaches the rider’s pelvis, it splits and continues down both legs and out the heels. While the body weight is traveling downward due to gravity’s force, the rider appears to be carrying her upper body upright and flexible, like a puppet with strings in the clouds. Meanwhile the pelvis is following the motion of the horse.”

As the above information sinks in, I am finding that my experience of standing on the earth is changing, as is my sense of connection to the ground while riding. In addition to paying attention to the poise of my head, I also notice that its weight is quite tangible – I call it ‘heavy in a good way.’ I don't have to interfere with the poise of my head to allow its weight to sink down through my bones, all the way to my feet, through my heels, down into the earth. A circuit is established, like plugging in a light, because as the weight flows down, an energy also rises back up through me. Paradoxically, the acceptance of the weight of the head, allows the bones to fulfill their function of support, yet also confers a sense of buoyancy and ease. It is intriguing to feel light and heavy at the same time!

Upcoming posts here will share more of the invaluable insights of Eckart Meyners.

The Balimo™ or “Balance in Motion” chair is shown above with lines drawn to illustrate the type of movements possible while seated on it (virtually limitless planes of motion). Even a short period of use brought substantially increased awareness of the “seat” bones, balance (or lack of it!) and movement potential of the whole pelvis.

beautiful, positive, dynamic

2008-08-01T19:15:00.015-04:00

Yamada Sensei paused during his Tuesday morning class at the United States Aikido Federation Summer Camp (taking place this week at Stockton College near Atlantic City) to share with us what he feels are the most important aspects of the art.

Here is my interpretation of what he said:

It was only moderately surprising to me to hear him say that, first of all and most importantly, Aikido must be beautiful. That’s my Sensei, I thought – and he has been for nearly 25 years. The grace and symmetry of the movements and a fascination with the interaction have certainly been primary for me, with interest in the martial application developing gradually and a bit later. Now I see that the quality of beauty is not separate from the martial aspect. The elegance is pure physics, probably much the same as when mathematicians refer to certain proofs as “elegant.” Economy and purity of motion produce martial effectiveness.

Aikido must also be positive and this Yamada Sensei demonstrated for us very clearly. By contrasting proper extension, expansion and forward movement with the opposite effects of pulling in with the arms or moving backwards, he looked for a moment like a mere mortal rather than the larger-than-life figure we are used to experiencing on the mat.

Finally he reminded us that Aikido must be dynamic. He emphasized that each technique must have a memorable beginning and a clear ending. As a musician, I know the importance of dynamic variation, and as it happened, Sensei gave the example of a Beethoven symphony he had been listening to that morning – it begins with a strong statement and it has a shape. A trip to the dictionary reminded me that the term “dynamic” relates to energy or to objects in motion, is characterized by continuous change (emphasis mine) and is marked by intensity and vigor.

Although English is not Yamada Sensei’s native language, I believe he succinctly and completely described his Aikido – I can only imagine how eloquent his thoughts might be in Japanese.

The video clip above is from a series of instructional tapes by Yamada Sensei with Donovan Waite taking ukemi. It fully illustrates the beautiful, positive and dynamic qualities of the art of Aikido.

axis mundi

2008-07-25T11:56:00.008-04:00

Also known as cosmic axis, world axis, world pillar and center of the world – this is a symbol found in throughout all cultures. It describes the “turning point of the world: line through the earth's center around which the universe revolves.”

“The human body can express the symbol of world axis. Some of the more abstract Tree of Life representations, such as the Sefirot in Kabbalism and in the Chakra system recognized by Hinduism and Buddhism, merge with the concept of the human body as a pillar between heaven and earth. Disciplines such as Yoga and Tai Chi begin from the premise of the human body as axis mundi. . . . World religions regard the body itself as a temple and prayer as a column uniting earth to heaven. . . . . The Renaissance image known as the Vitruvian Man represented a symbolic and mathematical exploration of the human form as world axis.” --Wikipedia

ax·is
1: a straight line about which a body or a geometric figure rotates or may be supposed to rotate
2: the second vertebra of the neck on which the head and first vertebra turn as on a pivot
3: a main line of direction, motion, growth, or extension
4: a point or continuum on which something centers - an axis of . . . power

Recently a number of experiences have reinforced my perception of my own axis. A Chi Kung class for aikidoists with Robert Tangora left me with a tangible new impression of my center as part of an energy channel. We used the image of a column of light which passed through the top of our heads, through our bodies straight down into the earth, all the while the same column of light streamed upwards. When we were able to keep the image clearly in our minds, our partners found us impossibly strong and virtually immoveable.

When I started learning to ride in earnest last autumn, I excitedly told an Alexander Technique colleague that expert riders direct energy not only up through the spine but downwards as well, and they do both at the same time. They use the spine like an integrated tool extending it in both directions from their center. He found this somewhat difficult to imagine, as did I, although my eyes were already telling me it was true.

Now my lessons with several different Centered Riding instructors all seem to have a common theme – and the theme has to do with learning to use both ends of the spine – the whole spine, and portions of the spine! It also has to do with isolating what the pelvis is doing from what the upper body is doing – even though the activity is integrated and the parts are interdependent. The tricky part is that in fact, when I "try" to accomplish any of the above directly I do not have much success. Once again I find that the whole is much greater than the sum of the parts -- so how shall I proceed from here?

A recent Alexander Technique lesson with Tommy Thompson in Cambridge, MA gave me a kind of correction to course and reminded me that attention to the "means whereby" would bring me much closer to the subtlety, integration and effectiveness of movement which is necessary in riding.

The beautiful photo above of the legendary ballerina Alexandra Danilova graphically illustrates the human body organized around the vertical axis.

imprisoned splendour

2008-07-13T07:24:00.011-04:00

The words resonate deeply. They speak of the perfection within each of us which is locked away from expression – my interpretation is that it is our accumulated habits that prevent our true nature from emerging – habits of thinking, habits of moving with excess effort and tension, and habitual emotional reactions. All these we begin to develop from the moment of our birth. I am interested in how to strip away the layers of accumulation.

What types of activities work to dissolve or neutralize the ‘baffling…carnal mesh’ which obscures the truth of the ‘inmost centre’? This is a very personal journey for each of us. My approach includes the activities I explore in this space – application of the Alexander Technique, Aikido training, and most recently, my relationship with horses – all of which have an enhanced ability to return me to the present moment, again and again.

Now I leave it to the power of the poetry to share its personal meaning with you:

Truth is within ourselves; it takes no rise
From outward things, whate’er you may believe.
There is an inmost centre in us all,
Where truth abides in fullness; and around,
Wall upon wall, the gross flesh hems it in,
This perfect, clear perception—which is truth.
A baffling and perverting carnal mesh
Binds it, and makes all error: and, to know,
Rather consists in opening out a way
Whence the imprisoned splendour may escape,
Than in effecting entry for a light
Supposed to be without.

--From Paracelsus by Robert Browning

Many hours were spent searching for an image to complement this entry. The face of a weathered stone angel shown above emanates an eerie radiance. Ironically, it was found on a science website illustrating the effects of acid rain.
Photographer: Michael Drager | Agency: Dreamstime.com

free running

2008-07-06T07:15:00.006-04:00

Thanks to Jami Wallace for alerting me to this documentary (clip above) to air on the Documentary Channel tomorrow evening. The film can also be purchased on their website (link in the sidebar). Here is the text of the article from TheHorse.com:

"Sheryl Crow is urging people to get involved in saving America's wild horses.

'I think it will be a real shame when we look back and we don't have these incredible species, and I guess my best hope would be that people, individuals, step up at this point and really protect these animals,' the 46-year-old Grammy-winning singer says in an upcoming documentary, 'Saving the American Wild Horse.'

The program airs 9 p.m. EST Monday (July 7) on the Documentary Channel. Directed by James Kleinert, it's narrated by Peter Coyote and features Viggo Mortensen.

Crow, who lives in Tennessee and owns a wild mustang named Colorado, says the animals are part of American history but are being sacrificed in big business' drive for Western lands.

'We're starting to get really, really far away from our heritage and what this country is based on,' she says.

The documentary examines the Bureau of Land Management's policies regarding wild horses on public lands and includes interviews with ranchers, historians, animal rights activists, environmentalists, and others.

'If any of these politicians visited these sites where our indigenous animals are being slaughtered in an inhumane way and being sold for meat, I feel that there would be a different take and a different approach to what's happening,' Crow says."

America's horses

2008-07-03T13:43:00.014-04:00

An email from one of my riding friends begins: “I know this sounds like a small thing compared to Zimbabwe, Darfur, etc., but we are all parts of the whole . . . the wild horse is an endangered species.”

From the American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign:

“The Bureau of Land Management’s (BLM) Wild Horse and Burro Advisory Board met on Monday. In our pre-meeting alert, we had expressed grave concerns over BLM’s plans, asking whether “kill authority” was next on BLM's misguided agenda. Lo and behold, BLM came out and announced it is now considering simply putting to death 'excess' wild horses! How did it come to this?

In 2001, BLM obtained a 50% increase in annual budget for implementation of an aggressive removal campaign. 24,000 horses were slated for capture, with no long-term plan for their welfare. Now, predictably, the federal agency finds itself in the untenable positions of warehousing over 30,000 horses (more than remain in the wild); the funding it wants to save by euthanizing our wild horses was wasted on years of unnecessary round-ups to cater to special interests.

6 million head of private livestock graze our public lands and BLM wants us to believe that 25,000 wild horses are overpopulating the range? Removals are based on flawed and biased data; BLM itself admitted at Monday’s meeting that not even its censusing techniques are accurate. In 2005, while in the process of rounding up thousands of horses supposedly due to poor range conditions, BLM eased public land grazing restrictions for private cattle.

BLM’s irresponsible approach to wild horse management created the problem, and the agency is now asking the American public to swallow a very bitter pill, all the while continuing to round up horses by the thousands (2,000 are slated to come off the Nevada range in the coming weeks alone).

America cannot let this stand. Congress is in recess for Independence Day week, but stay tuned for a national action plan next week. On behalf of America’s horses, thank you for your support at this critical time.”

--From The AWHPC Team

Sign the petition here.

The photo above comes directly from the website of the American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign. It's a gorgeous photo, and I wanted to make sure to depict the real thing.

optimist's anthem

2008-07-02T00:01:00.015-04:00

Can’t seem to stop thinking of the little colt I met this past weekend – depending on your age, you may remember the song which is running through my head:

Oh, I’m bein’ followed by a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow
Leapin’ and hoppin’ on a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow

And if I ever lose my hands, lose my plough, lose my land,
Oh if I ever lose my hands, oh if.... I won’t have to work no more.
And if I ever lose my eyes, if my colours all run dry,
Yes if I ever lose my eyes, oh if.... I won’t have to cry no more.

And if I ever lose my legs, I won’t moan, and I won’t beg,
Yes if I ever lose my legs, oh if.... I won’t have to walk no more.
And if I ever lose my mouth, all my teeth, north and south,
Yes if I ever lose my mouth, oh if.... I won’t have to talk...

Did it take long to find me? I asked the faithful light.
Did it take long to find me? And are you gonna stay the night?

-- Cat Stevens, 1970

From the website Song Facts:

"Stevens wrote this about finding hope in any situation. Be present and joyful. See life as it is, right now, and don't compare it to others' lives, or other times in your life. Every moment in life is rich and unique; whether we are aware of it or not, we are always leaping and hopping on a moonshadow - the inescapable present moment. If we are wrapped up in our whirlpools of worry and concern about what could be, or what has been, we are missing the richness of life as it is.

Stevens has in recent years called this song the 'Optimist's Anthem.'"

A wonderful name – I liked it very much – quite poetic I thought, but it was not until I saw the picture I had taken above that I suddenly understood why he was named “Moonshadow” – he is the first baby horse I’ve personally met, my first colt. One month old, he embodied pure innocence and sweetness and they practically had to drag me from his stall at the end of our riding retreat at Sam Morrison’s Welcome Home Farm in Greene, Maine this past weekend.

one smart pony - Molly's story

2008-07-01T13:02:00.008-04:00

Here is the text of an email forwarded by Annelie – I have added a few other links at the end, and found a video as well:

Meet *Molly*.........

She's a gray speckled pony who was abandoned by her owners, when Katrina hit southern Louisiana, USA. She spent weeks on her own before finally being rescued and taken to a farm where abandoned animals were stockpiled. While there, she was attacked by a pit bull terrier, and almost died. Her gnawed right front leg became infected and her vet went to LSU for help. But LSU was overwhelmed, and this pony was a welfare case. You know how that goes.

But after surgeon Rustin Moore met Molly, he changed his mind. He saw how the pony was careful to lie down on different sides so she didn't seem to get sores, and how she allowed people to handle her. She protected her injured leg. She constantly shifted her weight, and didn't overload her good leg. She was a smart pony with a serious survival ethic. Moore agreed to remove her leg below the knee and a temporary artificial limb was built. Molly walked out of the clinic and her story really begins there.

'This was the right horse and the right owner,' Moore insists. Molly happened to be a one-in-a-million patient. She's tough as nails, but sweet, and she was willing to cope with pain. She made it obvious she understood (that) she was in trouble. The other important factor, according to Moore , is having a truly committed and compliant owner who is dedicated to providing the daily care required over the lifetime of the horse.

Molly's story turns into a parable for life in post-Katrina Louisiana . The little pony gained weight, her mane felt a comb. A human prosthesis designer built her a leg. The prosthetic has given Molly a whole new life, Allison Barca DVM, Molly's regular vet, reports. And she asks for it! She will put her little limb out, and come to you and let you know that she wants you to put it on. Sometimes she wants you to take it off too.' And sometimes, Molly gets away from Barca...'It can be pretty bad when you can't catch a three-legged horse', she laughs.

Most important of all, Molly now has a job. Kay, the rescue farm owner, started taking Molly to shelters, hospitals, nursing homes, & rehabilitation centers -- anywhere she thought that people needed hope. Wherever Molly goes, people observe her great courage & spirit. She really inspires people, and she has a great time doing it!

'It was obvious to me, that Molly had a bigger role to play in life', Moore said. 'She survived the hurricane, she survived a horrible injury, and now she is giving hope to others! 'She's not quite back to normal yet,' says Barca, 'But she is continually improving. To me, she is a symbol of New Orleans itself.'

Article from TheHorse.com - join for free to read complete article.

HoofBlog's entry about Molly.

artistic riding

2008-06-23T07:27:00.015-04:00

As a child I spent quite a lot of time upside down -- bouncing on trampolines and tumbling at the local rec center or springing off diving boards at the swim club -- that is when I wasn’t climbing trees, playing touch football in the street, or barreling down hills on my bike – activities which resulted in several memorable trips to the emergency room. Given my proclivities, it is probably better that I knew nothing of the sport of equestrian vaulting – that I just discovered at the end of a wonderful Susan Harris Centered Riding® Clinic which was held at Silver Dollar Stables near Princeton, NJ last weekend.

Assisting Susan was Claudia DiSanto, a CR instructor from Austria who learned to ride from her two older sisters in the Alps -- an environment she describes as “think Sound of Music.” Claudia has competed in equestrian vaulting in Europe at a very high level and at the end of the clinic she was working with the teenagers on some of the “moves.” Of course this really piqued my interest and I looked it up on YouTube the moment I got settled at the computer at home.

What a fabulous combination: the strength and agility of gymnastics, the artistry of pairs ice skating, including partnering elements of dance forms like ballet or contact improvisation – and on horseback no less. Better known in Europe the sport is gaining popularity elsewhere. The amazing equestrian show Cavalia includes a vaulting performance. As one of my friends commented, it’s the circus!

“The present name of the sport comes from the French ‘La Voltige,’ which it acquired during the Renaissance, when it was a form of riding drill and agility exercise for knights and noblemen . . . Cavalry officers introduced the sport at the 1920 Olympic Games in Antwerp as ‘Artistic Riding.’” -- Wikipedia

cat before the horse

2008-06-06T16:48:00.007-04:00

Headline: Odd pair proves you can put the CAT before the HORSE

Tigger the cat loves to horse around with his big pal Annie – and play nuzzle the muzzle. Their unusual relationship is the talk of the barnyard at the Victoria, Australia, home of contractor Jack Bellman.

“Tigger is a nasty old cat, who will bite and hiss and scratch, but he just melts around Annie,” says Jack. The paddock pals bonded immediately. The 3-year-old feisty feline loves to jump on the rail fence for a tête-à-tête with 2-year-old Annie.

“They have formed an incredible attachment,” says their owner. Tigger even sleeps in Annie’s food bin. Concludes an amazed Jack: “They are real buddies.”

Apparently, this is not uncommon – many horses have a stable mascot of their own – a cat, or sometimes a pony or a goat. It didn’t take long to find this video called katt och häst (cat and horse). I thought Annelie would enjoy it and the unique Swedish folksong accompaniment (click “more” under info for a translation -- a charming children's song).

swing time

2008-06-05T16:51:00.007-04:00

The video above communicates volumes about universal principles of body mechanics: Tiger Woods’ golf swing captured exquisitely in slow motion. The aesthetic choices of the filmmaker underscore the classicism of the pure form and remind us why this athlete has achieved an almost mythic status. For me, the primary aesthetic factor is the sheer perfection of his “use of self.” The movement is undeniably beautiful, and it is also mesmerizing . . . I just never seem to tire of watching it.

I can’t seem to resist writing about it either: the still, stable central axis, the grounding which continues in polarity to the raising of his arms, the spiral initiated from the center of the body (pelvis) which is then made manifest, until you see it reaching from the tip of the toe all the way around to the end of the golf club. The slow motion allows us to absorb some of the peaceful expression on his face and the easy quality in his neck area. And do you have any doubt about the power unleashed here?

In looking for other instances of this kind of perfect melding of form and function which have the power to captivate, a variety come to mind – the sensitive and supple dressage rider creating balance and harmony with the horse, an aikido master effortlessly moving through multiple attackers, moments of brilliance during the NBA playoffs, “my” New York hawks soaring nearby and heading out over Central Park, a favorite image of my daughter which captures her in a carefree and buoyant moment. And of course music does this too – a Latin groove, a coloratura’s shimmering riff, a Chopin mazurka, Bill Evans, or a plaintive and haunting solo English horn.

Well what do these disparate performances have in common? Maybe we could call it a lack of separation between the “performer” and the activity. It’s not easy to describe – but you probably feel it too.

“To swing is when an individual player or ensemble performs in such a rhythmically coordinated way as to command a visceral response from the listener; an irresistible gravitational buoyancy that defies mere verbal definition.” (emphasis mine)

--from the Jazz in America website

Maybe that’s what I’m getting at. As the tune says, “it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing . . .”

don't try this at home

2008-05-24T09:25:00.006-04:00

Especially the part at around 2:40!

And Aikido practitioners may especially enjoy the footage between 1:15 and 1:35 . . .

Stick with it to the end of the clip and you will hear the answer to the question, "how do you do this?"

Even if you don't speak Czechoslovakian, I would recommend visiting the website of Honza Blaha and viewing the amazing photos and video clips.

Link to English translation (automated, but you can get the idea) here.

inspiration from the heartland

2008-05-23T07:32:00.011-04:00

So subtle is the communication between Stacy Westfall and her horse that one of my non-riding Alexander Technique colleagues half-jokingly commented to me: "how does she do that, telepathy?" I was expecting him to offer his unique perspective on the movement analysis -- as he usually does -- but in this case he was almost at a loss for words.

You see, it's just Stacy and her horse here -- no saddle, no bit or bridle, and no reins!

The video on YouTube circled the globe, and soon Stacy was "discovered" and even made an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show (which you can also view on YouTube)! Now the invitation I had been eyeing, to come spend some time at Westfall Horsemanship, has disappeared from the website and all the clinics offered are completely sold out -- I have a feeling I may have missed my window of opportunity here.

However, congratulations, Stacy! The recognition is certainly well-deserved, as I'm sure you will agree.

Take a look and see what you can "see."

a sport of kings

2008-05-21T07:08:00.007-04:00

While visiting my daughter in Montana last month, where I found myself in some breathtakingly beautiful wild landscapes, I was inspired to purchase and devour a book called Falcon Fever by Tim Gallagher. It has only encouraged my love-affair with "my own" New York Red-tailed hawks.

One particularly vivid image from the book is a description of a falconer Gallagher met on a trip to the British Isles -- a former master of the Queen's cavalry, and a magnificent equestrian as one might imagine -- who galloped up at full speed while holding his falcon perfectly still on his gloved arm!

Enjoy this short video on the history of falconry, filmed in Wales, complete with charming accents, humor, heathered-moor scenery and accurate information too!

better living through imagery

2008-05-20T11:05:00.015-04:00

“I don’t do images!” I heard one student say. Wait a minute, I’m at a Centered Riding® clinic I thought to myself. Why are they here if they don’t believe in the power of the images? Subsequent experience has shown me that CR recognizes that not all of the techniques and terminology work for every type of person. The beauty of the method is that it provides a very full toolbox of teaching techniques and encourages its teachers to sensitively adapt and experiment to find the best image or exercise for each situation.

Ideokinesis, from the Greek ideo (idea) and kinesis (movement), applies mental imagery to facilitate movement, improve body awareness and alignment and re-program movement patterns.

One website, Ideokinesis.com, recognizes Sally Swift, the founder of Centered Riding®, as a pioneer of this work. Sally’s method for teaching the art of riding is filled with incredibly creative and vibrant images which encompass both horse and rider and are designed to help the rider find ever more subtle and integrated means of influencing the horse. These rely less on isolated muscular actions and more on thought power and visualization. They help the rider envision their interaction with the horse as a synergistic whole. The rider’s re-balancing, release of tension and clarity of intention are all reflected in the movement and behavior of their highly sensitive partner, the horse.

If you do “do” images you might wish to explore some of the rich literature of Ideokinesis (you will find an extensive bibliography at Ideokinesis.com). One classic work is The Thinking Body by Mabel Todd. I am enjoying the essays in Taking Root to Fly by Irene Dowd and the book quoted below on the work of André Bernard is very accessible. Many of the exercises utilize a supine position known as “constructive rest” (familiar to both Centered Riding and Alexander Technique students) where the body is placed in a neutral, non-doing state and the mind and neural pathways become activated by the various visualizations. Applying imagery to movement is also included, and much functional anatomical knowledge is incorporated as well.

Below are several brief excerpts culled from a reminiscence of the work of André Bernard by Ursula Stricker, from Ideokinesis – A Creative Approach to Human Movement and Body Alignment:

“’Think it, imagine it, let it happen.’ With his deep, warm voice, André Bernard guided us into the heart of ideokinesis, into constructive rest . . . Layer by layer I gained access to the deepest layer, the weight-bearing structure of the bones, and over time I developed a continuous awareness of my bones. Through aligning and balancing my skeletal structure, my behavior and work habits changed and many burdensome postural patterns loosened and melted away. . . . What became familiar as a meditative, creative path of body, alignment, and movement awareness began to weave itself naturally into the dance of daily life. Routine movements became clearer, lighter, and more flowing, which to me is essential to ‘quality of life.’”

The image above was taken at Thorncroft Equestrian Center in Malvern, PA where I contributed Alexander Technique teaching to Susan Harris' Centered Riding® Instructors’ clinic in early May. Please visit their website to see some of the many special people and horses who create the warm and peaceful atmosphere at this very special place.

the thrill of it all

2008-05-14T17:01:00.007-04:00

Much has happened during my hiatus from this space and I finally feel refreshed and ready to share again. Encountered along the journey:

-The really big skies of Montana, pungent hot springs, yoga on horseback, BodyTalk
-A falconry penpal in Wyoming
-Eckart Meyners’ brilliant work
-Alexander Technique teaching at another Susan Harris’ Centered Riding® Instructors’ Clinic
-The honeymoon ends – first scare on horseback
-Josh Lyons, Craig Cameron and Pat Parelli do aikido with horses
-Winners of the first ten years of the World Cup competition in dressage
-Aikido of Missoula – Raso Hultgren leads with power and grace
-Taking Root to Fly – essays on ideokinesis by Irene Dowd

AND, “The Horse” pre-exhibit opening reception at The American Museum of Natural History, here in New York City:

Having so looked forward to attending the event, I somewhat naively took the instructions as to “derby attire” very much to heart and was convinced that everyone attending (the women at least!) would be wearing some kind of amazing hat. This was my very first adventure with floral headgear and I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience – but I was a bit disappointed that more of my fellow New Yorkers did not join in the spirit. Thanks to Lisa Garrison for giving me the opportunity to be one of the first people to tour the exhibit and also for causing me to acquire such an amazing hat that I will surely have to attend at least a polo match, if not one of the Triple Crown events, and probably collect a few more vintage head pieces in the process.

The exhibit opens this weekend and runs through January 4, 2009.

“Well . . . , Debra once again did it, this time uplifting the entire museum going public by wearing a stunning flower hat, bought at a vintage clothing store earlier in the day, to the opening of "The Horse" at The American Museum of Natural History. Though "derby attire" was suggested on the invitation, I can assure you that the New Yorkers in attendance were conservatively dressed and that Debbie was the ONLY one who entered the event with the stylish energies of a thoroughbred! She truly did her homework - reviewing the website of the Kentucky Museum of Arts and Design and coming up with the time honored tradition of wearing smashing hats! What Fun!

There were a handful of hats and pastels at the event, but none drew so many comments (and photos). Nor did anyone else genuinely befriend the policemen and their horses guarding the steps, who bid farewell to Debra on a first name basis as we descended. I was honored to escort a true inquirer into equestrian matters to this opening!”
-- Lisa Stewart Garrison

the power of connection

2008-04-09T17:08:00.013-04:00

“Wu Wei is about acting in synch. . . .fluidly adapting to the needs of the moment, doing only as much as is needed of exactly the right things in precisely the right time. Working this way requires a very refined ability to feel, follow, absorb, interpret and direct energy. Such a sense is only possible when things are in harmony -- in balance. Such a balance is only possible to the extent one can feel, follow, absorb, interpret and direct oneself.” (emphasis mine)

--From a thread on the T’ai Chi section of the Prairie Winds website

One week recently, I managed to spend more time on a horse than on the aikido mat. When I did get back to training, I found I was particularly sensitive to the concept of connecting with my partner and leading/following the technique to a resolution. I felt like a school horse (but without the requisite patience) and it seemed my rider (training partner) was trying to communicate with me by pushing and pulling me around with muscles and tension. Only some of my more skilled and senior partners were able to blend, connect and lead me without eliciting this reaction. And when I was executing the techniques, I noticed they were most effective when my intention was to maintain a harmonious connection, patiently resisting the urge to push, pull or try to make my partner respond in a particular way.

Learning to join or blend with an attack is the foundation of aikido training. No technique can be effectively executed without the initial awareness which connects you to your attacker. Only after you have connected, is it possible to lead them off balance and neutralize the conflict. The lead is not a pulling which engages individual muscles, but a way of using the whole body organized around the center of gravity. It has a magnetic effect – a drawing in or a seductive quality. There is a kind of stillness within the movement which leaves the aggressor unsuspectingly undisturbed. Once established, I must constantly renew my attention and awareness to maintain the connection. Excess effort breaks the link between us and gives my partner something to struggle against. It requires subtlety of feeling.

Aikido is an art transmitted through touch and mastered through conscious repetition. Description and analysis are incomplete without the kinesthetic reprogramming which takes place each time I feel the energy extend through a technique performed by one of my senior teachers or training partners. At our dojo we are especially blessed to have two direct students of the founder, O’Sensei, as our master teachers. They learned through absorbing the feeling of the art from O’Sensei, so we are receiving aikido through them, and it passes through us to those we touch in our training.

Judy Cross-Strehlke repeatedly encouraged us: “reach the feeling in your riding – don’t get stuck in the information.” The more I am able to follow her advice, the more I find my aikido experience can influence my ability to connect with my horse. In those brief moments of connection, I sense my horse as I might a less-experienced aikido training partner who is relying on me for direction and gentle guidance – they need to feel my softness, timing and clarity of intent. They wish to feel my calmness under stress and they learn through me something about power without force.

So, when does the connection actually begin? Not only does it begin before the moment of physical contact, one of my favorite aikido teachers suggests that the technique begins even before we enter the dojo. Sara and Michael Stenson of Prairie Winds Equine Massage Therapy suggest that the therapeutic treatment you offer the horse begins the moment the horse notices you. Judy told us that each morning when she opens her eyes (anywhere from 4:30 am to 6:30 am) and sits up in bed, she will invariably hear one of her horses call to her from a far off paddock still obscured by mist. Their awareness so far exceeds ours -- I think this is why they captivate me and how they have seduced me.

My first small iMovie project is in progress, intended to convey some of the flavor of connection as an aspect of aikido training (coming soon). In the meantime, above are some still images taken from informal video footage, filmed during a break between aikido classes. Jaime Kahn, a longtime friend and training partner (who is also a wonderful photographer) helped me explore connection through the wrist-grab attack and a technique called kaiten-nage.

the wild ones

2008-03-22T09:20:00.005-04:00

Best Friends Animal Sanctuary sends me a bi-monthly magazine, since Helene sponsored a horse for me and I was moved to do some sponsoring myself. It is beautifully produced -- filled with inspirational stories and many wonderful photographs.

In it I discovered an article about an exhibit documenting wild horses in Idaho by photographer Elissa Kline. Her website has a link to the Best Friends article (under the News section) along with the full range of her amazing images. The exhibit “Herd But Not Seen” consists of nearly life-sized images of wild horses which float on translucent cotton panels throughout the space. She is hoping to show this awareness-raising exhibit in all 10 states with wild-horse populations, as well as somewhere near Washington, DC “where people who make the laws are.”

My own awareness of wild horses was re-kindled recently by a friend who mentioned that he walked by an exhibit in Soho he thought I would enjoy: The Wild Horses of Sable Island. The Green Horse Society website chronicles these individual horses and the life of the herd on the the tiny sand bar of Sable Island, 160 miles off the coast of Nova Scotia.

Abaco Island in the Bahamas also has a wild horse population.

Informational links from the Best Friends article:

Return to Freedom American Wild Horse Sanctuary

American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign

Wild Horse Sanctuary

Let ‘Em Run Foundation, Inc.

soft eyes, big picture

2008-03-18T13:59:00.006-04:00

Judith Cross-Strehlke made a deep impression on me during her Centered Riding clinic a few weeks ago at Woodbine Equestrian in Southern New Jersey. Her self-contained manner, powerfully quiet presence, and generous way of tuning into each and every one of us was very inspiring. Judy also offered me a comment in private which caused me to take a deep breath, step back so to speak, and begin to open my perspective on this process of learning to ride.

She suggested that I use more “soft eyes” in relation to my whole approach to learning. Suddenly I was acutely aware of how my enthusiasm, focus and determination had subtly evolved into over-thinking, overly critical over-analysis and a kind of grasping or over-reaching. With a sigh of relief, I decided to relinquish my hard focus and give myself the luxury of non-doing, just being with the whole idea of horses and riding for a while. No list of books to read, no blog to write. I let go and stepped back, catching myself over and over in the habitual response of asking myself “what should I be doing now?” It took the form of “I’m sure there is a book to read, a thought to get down on paper, a video to order, a clinic or course to sign up for, an image to invoke…” Each time a thought of this type surfaced, I was reminded to breathe, and out would come an audible sigh. Then I would remember to ask myself, “ wait a minute, what is the bigger picture?”

A week of this “let’s open up to the big picture” approach turned into two, with a couple of days which masqueraded as a mild flu -- of simply sitting on the sofa, reflecting. What is the hurry? What am I really trying to learn? During this retreat on the sofa I was drawn to the Magic Eye (stereogram) books loaned to me by a friend. I had “tried” to use them a number of years ago and was never able to allow my focus to soften enough to enter their 3-D world. A week or so before the clinic I had my first experience of allowing the depth of the images to be revealed to me. Now I couldn’t seem to get enough of the peaceful place where the process of softening my vision took me.

One way to learn how to see the stereograms is to start with the image directly touching your nose and allow your eyes to keep the same diffuse focus as you slowly move the image farther away. The tendency for most of us is to try harder to see something, which I notice goes along with a tension in the neck and jaw and a holding of breath. What a good metaphor for the new approach I was exploring. What a wonderful biofeedback tool for soft eyes. And as I discovered very quickly when teaching the Alexander Technique to the Centered Riding instructors last autumn, most of them immediately released tension in their head/neck relationship at the mere mention of using soft eyes.

If you would like to learn more and try it for yourself, visit:
The Magic Eye image of the week

In addition to reminding me to soften my approach and expand my vision of riding, Judy also shared much detailed information and instruction during the clinic. We are already making plans to see her again soon and other ideas from her teaching will be making their way into my reflections here.

Judy rode several horses during the clinic; above she is shown with Chloe, a sweet and beautiful Andalusian mare. Watching her make an immediate connection to Chloe and proceed to ride with seeming effortlessness reminded me of a phrase we use when describing several of our aikido master instructors: “no moving parts.” It really just means that they are so integrated, functioning with such harmony, that we cannot see how they do what they are doing!

enchantment

2008-03-04T15:08:00.016-05:00

Spring is in the air in New York today. Junior and Charlotte, the pair of Red-tailed hawks who live across the street from my office window, were just observed soaring high above, slowly circling in a synchronized dance, gradually spiraling down to land in their nesting area high up the building at 888 Seventh Avenue. Usually I don’t see them until mid-afternoon. Although I am becoming more used to their presence, each episode still inspires awe – they enchant me with their regal bearing and their ability to glide effortlessly, often seeming to almost stop their motion – that is when they cast their spell and time stands still.

This past weekend we fell under a different spell. I met my very first stallion, an Andalusian aptly named “Brujo.” His name is translated variously as wizard, magician, sorcerer – he is a fairy tale horse like no other I have personally encountered. His owner, and the owner of the beautiful facility where the Centered Riding clinic was held, is Sue Holtz of Woodbine Equestrian Center. She kindly let us tag along with her and introduced us to Brujo, who was holding court out in his spacious paddock field. She patiently explained some of the aspects of stallion behavior as we gaped at him -- incredulous, smitten. While she emphasized that the “biting” movements of his mouth and lips are typical of stallions, part of their need for stimulation and contact and do not necessarily indicate ill will, she also made sure that we understood that Brujo does bite and that she must not allow him to even catch hold of a piece of her jacket – the next time he could bite her arm and crush the bones.

Helene and I were sufficiently impressed with the above information and kept our distance. We observed him from afar as he pranced back and forth, keeping an eye on his empire and all activity taking place within it. Sue told us that Brujo, as the stallion on the farm, feels a great responsibility – he feels in charge of all the other horses – geldings and mares and ponies alike, and with each visitor to the property he re-asserted his dominance with another flashy pass across the field, head tossing, glorious mane flowing, his complete awareness very apparent.

Later in the afternoon when Helene received permission to feed him an apple, I asked Annelie to come along, partially to keep an eye on us. Brujo was a perfect gentleman, taking the slices from our flat palms, even allowing us to pet him and fawn over him briefly – until the apple was gone, that is. Then he was off, back to the serious business of keeping track of all and everything.

When the clinic was officially over, we lingered, chatting with new friends, Helene spoiling horses, dogs and chickens with treats and affection. I followed Sue out to the paddock and watched as she put a halter on Brujo and, dressage crop at the ready, led him purposefully to his stall in the barn. I also watched, fascinated, as she groomed and tacked him up – noticing her focus and vigilance throughout the process. We were then rewarded with the thrill of seeing her ride him in the outdoor ring. Here was masterful riding we could only dream of, the power and beauty of their movement heart-stopping, the intensity of their relationship mesmerizing. Magic was in the air as we left, reluctantly heading back to the City – the enchanted ones left behind barely noticed our departure.

Above are some photos documenting our ensorcellment.***

***en·sor·cell ( n-sôr s l); en·sor cell·ment n.: To enchant; bewitch.
[French ensorceler, from Old French ensorcerer, ensorceler : en-, intensive pref.; see en-+ sorcier, sorcerer.]

ingénue

2008-02-27T07:45:00.008-05:00

We convened in the Heartland last weekend to celebrate the birthday of one of the most energetically spry 80-year-olds you are apt to come across – my mother, Shirley. Her image above is blurred, due to the speed at which she tends to move. She swears she can still turn cartwheels, although we have discouraged her from proving it. She also types at warp speed and regrets that we insist she wear shoes during one of her very favorite pastimes: mowing the lawn.

Her signature “lounging” position is known in aikido as “seiza” – legs folded neatly under the body, feet curved, forming a configuration for the seat, almost like sitting in a saddle. It is a position of readiness – from there, the Samurai would spring into action. Many aikidoists practice for years, hoping that their joints will soften and release enough for them to sit this way comfortably. My mother has always found it a perfectly natural way to be -- in her easy chair, watching the news or working a crossword puzzle, even spending the good part of an afternoon, on a hard wooden dock at the lake, engrossed in a good book.

Growing up on a farm during the Depression, we know that she was considered a “tomboy”, preferring to work outside or in the barn rather than staying in the house baking or learning embroidery. Her own mother did it all – from crocheting gossamer tablecloths to husking field corn and driving a team of horses pulling the threshing machine (each of my grandmothers will receive a dedicated entry, soon to follow).

My mom was a career woman from the age of 18. She always worked fulltime, effectively employed with the same law firm for over 60 years, raised three daughters, and served for 25 years on the Town Board – among various other activities! It seems she is finally adjusting somewhat, after a year of “retirement” (albeit with a part-time job), starting to mention that she would like to volunteer with the area homeless shelter and tutor children in reading.

So I thought I would share this photo snapped at the birthday dinner – how appropriate that I caught her with that other famous ingénue, Audrey. Her youthful spirit inspires me and, hopefully, her genetic gifts will serve me well, as I seem to pursue avocations traditionally considered domains of the young. Let’s see . . . youth is wasted on the young, you are only as old as you feel, it’s just a number, life begins at (fill in the blank), as fine as wine, long in the tooth (this last one comes from horses and denotes wisdom as well as age). All clichés aside, let’s just say that Shirley is irrepressibly young at heart.

hawk's eye view

2008-02-15T11:27:00.022-05:00

Yesterday I was lured into another dimension of life’s expression, here in New York. This is where I live – an environment which can alternately overload or numb the senses. Because everything lately is filtered through the lens of horses and riding, an experience of this nature cannot escape that process.

Central Park is an urban oasis for many of us. As a new vista for me, and in my purview for a good part of each waking day, it has altered my perspective. I know all the stories of birdwatchers and nature lovers – I’ve seen lots of ducks and observed a couple of long-legged water birds from the heights of Belvedere Castle. But since moving to this office, the shadow of a larger bird has slowly entered my consciousness. Yesterday it burst in upon me unexpectedly and gave me a glimpse of grandeur.

Ironically, I was speaking on the phone to my daughter who is living out in the real Big Sky country of Montana; in further irony, we were discussing my colleagues’ trip to the remote areas of New Zealand where they are hiking, hoping to see rare flora and fauna. At that moment the large bird I had only recently seen from a distance, glided past the window where I was standing, so close I could almost reach out and touch it, the incredible detailing of the wing feathers in clear relief on a day of brilliant sun against a crisp blue sky. In slow motion, it soared and circled and glided and hovered, almost lingering, then repeated its path. So poignant, I felt – what was this creature doing in this City? How lucky for me to view it in this way – how else would you climb to the heights where he soars?

Somehow I knew – this is a Red-tailed hawk. Then I looked uptown and thought, well at least he has the Park. He or she -- well I’m not sure. Then I remembered the story of the famous hawks nesting at the exclusive Fifth Avenue address. A day later, after enlightening myself (see websites referenced below), I understand that I was most certainly visited by Pale Male or Lola or one of their offspring. And the thrill of my personal experience is undiminished by the fact that Pale Male and his brood are in fact quite famous, with books written, a PBS Nature documentary and many zealous supporters.

The impact is palpable, the fascination lingers – the metaphors, familiar: freedom, the fantasy of flight, soaring above it all, the perfection of form and function, the absolute naturalness of the activity -- powerful yet effortless. I am already dreaming of another visitation and surely I am not alone in this: “Many of us . . . feel that observing this large and powerful bird is akin to a spiritual or religious experience.” -- from The City Naturalist, by Leslie Day

A few other amazing facts about Red-tails, excerpts from the article:

DESCRIPTION: The largest North American Buteo is 19-25 inches long (female larger than male); wingspan up to 58 inches. Talons are large and sharp.

EYESIGHT: Amazing eyesight allows them to see small mice while soaring 100 feet above the ground. Although one third the size of an adult human male, their eyes are as large as a man's - sometimes larger. The greatest density of nerve receptors seen in any eye has been recorded for a hawk. Their eyes are specially adapted for rapid change of focus (while hunting they go into aerial dives of 120 mph!) and unlike most birds, hawks have binocular vision.

FEEDING HABITS: May hunt while soaring. They can snatch birds right out of the air. . . Most often watches for prey from perch in tree from which it takes off with powerful wingbeats, then glides toward ground and snatches prey from the ground with its powerful and sharp talons. When they extend their legs fully in a dive, tendons spread the claws. When it strikes its prey, the legs double up under the force of impact which automatically clenches the toes and talons. The talons then pierce the vital organs of the victim, causing instant death.

AGE: A captive female at Millbrook, N.Y., lived to 29 years old.

In Love With A Hawk

Birds of Central Park - Pale Male is the gorgeous cover image

The photo above, courtesy of Lincoln Karim, was taken last Valentine’s Day and shows Pale Male soaring in what is quite likely the area around my office building. His website contains so many amazing photographs, with narrative, posted almost daily since 2002. A beautiful recent entry.

Footnote: I could not resist stopping the building manager in the lobby this morning and asking him if he knew of the large hawk in the area. In his heavy New York accent he confirmed matter-of-factly that this is indeed the son of Pale Male and the nest is across the street. Every year they have chicks and he likes to hang out on the 43rd floor of our building. One time he encountered the bird up on the roof. Apparently not very impressed, he told me they are thick out on Long Island where he lives – you can see them on every telephone pole.

fitness without stress

2008-02-14T11:27:00.011-05:00

My reminiscence in the last post, of lessons with Marj Barstow, re-connected me to the author of another very useful book on the Alexander Technique. Robert Rickover started visiting Lincoln and studying with Marj soon after I moved to New York – our paths have not crossed very often, but we certainly share many common colleagues and the benefit of Marj’s unique perspective.

Robert’s intellectual and scientific background in combination with the highly practical influence of Marj’s teaching are expressed in his book Fitness Without Stress. Besides being a general guide to Alexander’s work and how to learn it, the book is filled with fascinating accounts from people who have successfully applied the Technique in many and varied activities (including a riding instructor).

This book made a strong impression on me, and one resonant piece of information it contains is that releasing excess tension can, in and of itself, measurably raise a person’s level of fitness. The documented effects relate to both cardiovascular efficiency and oxygen utilization. This particular fact amazed me when I first read the book a number of years ago, but has been experientially proven in my own aikido training, particularly during the vigorous role of taking continuous ukemi (falling). Yet doesn’t it make sense that our habits of movement, which add constriction and put unnecessary pressure on our joints, actually “hold us back” and keep us from being our fittest?

Some activities by their very nature contain a potential for generating more wholeness – yoga, aikido and tai chi come to mind, along with of course lately for me, the art of riding a horse. Yet, every human endeavour has this potential and the masters of any art or sport demonstrate an exquisitely integrated use of self. Everyone will have their own favorite examples: Horowitz, Tiger Woods, Baryshnikov, Anky van Grunsven.

Just as it is not possible to produce beautiful music on an instrument that is not properly tuned, so we struggle against ourselves and develop compensatory habits when we attempt to learn a new skill or to raise our level of fitness without a way to restore the integrity of our original coordination. Applying Alexander’s principle allows us to tune ourselves, inside and out, mind and body, so that we bring a more harmonious self to whatever activity we are interested in studying. Alexander was not only ahead of his time, but I often muse that he is still ahead of ours, given the deeply essential quality of his discovery.

The subjects of ‘fitness’ and of ‘stress’ already fill many volumes. So in this post, I simply ask how releasing stress by letting go of habits of unnecessary tension reveals our fundamental integration and wholeness, and how does this quality of wholeness enhance our fitness?

Robert’s websites offer a tremendous wealth of information and resources to anyone interested in all the aspects of Alexander’s discovery (links in the sidebar: The Complete Guide to the Alexander Technique, and, Marjorie Barstow).

Above, the very fit and relaxed rider Annelie Andersson-Beck on her very fit Swedish warmblood, Sober -- as relaxed as such an athletic and eager horse can be. Annelie continues to inspire and impress me with her dedication to excellence, through her study of both classical riding technique and the system of Centered Riding. She told me that she has recently started to learn Tai Chi and that riding is “so easy” (for her) in comparison!

a moment, with Marj

2008-02-09T19:37:00.002-05:00

Marjorie Barstow had the ability to alter the experience of time -- through her teaching presence, the skill of her touch, and the timing and specificity of her use of language. Ultimately, she taught us through her living example. The experience of a moment where habitual response is completely suspended is not easy to describe, but I would like to try, because in that moment lives the essence of F.M. Alexander’s discovery.

The year after college, I moved out to Nebraska to absorb more of Marj’s teaching. Fortunately this time coincided with opening positions for an oboe/English horn player in both the Lincoln and Omaha orchestras, along with several chamber groups. So began a time of deep immersion in playing, practicing and performing. This further enhanced the great benefit of lessons with Marj with a small group of students who wanted to learn to teach the Technique.

Now that I am spending time around horses and horse people, I appreciate more fully some of the aspects of Marj’s personality and her approach teaching us. Marj was running the family business of raising cattle and quarter horses. We used to visit the ranch and picnic there, and although I never personally saw her ride or train a horse, I was aware that she did these things. Now it’s very clear that her sensitive and patient, yet down-to-earth, no-nonsense, non-coddling manner, with her constant emphasis on practical application and self-reliance are all qualities which would serve any horse trainer well!

Marj’s teaching gave us repeated exposure to the flavor of a process, refining our taste for these moments of possibility. More importantly it reinforced the experience of using what is known as our “constructive thinking” and carrying it right on through the initiation of an activity. But her greatest gift is that she empowered us to explore these options on our own, in any endeavor we might choose.

So what is the Alexander Technique and how do you begin to learn it? Of course, the benefit of working with a skilled teacher is not to be under-estimated. The best teachers balance their hands-on help with clarifying the thinking process -- helping each student understand how a simple thought applied at the right moment, and re-applied throughout an activity, is the key to using Alexander’s discovery. What I would most like my students to absorb is the confidence and clarity to apply the principle and experiment for themselves.

Begin with a book or begin with a lesson. Begin to observe your habits of movement and allow your awareness to expand -- but remember that the principle discovered by Alexander is accessible, applicable and inherent in us all. This universal applicability -- the possibility of invoking the principle at any given moment, in any activity, in any situation, and knowing that it will improve the quality of whatever I am doing -- this is what continues to fascinate me.

Favorite first books: Body Learning by Michael Gelb, Body Awareness in Action (re-published as Freedom to Change) by Frank Pierce Jones. See the sidebar link list for other resources.

The photograph above takes me back in time to one of many moments of suspension I was fortunate to experience through Marj’s teaching. This interaction reminds me of the photograph of Annelie and her horse, Sober -- Marj has achieved the same kind of palpable connection to my thinking process. We often hear the phrase “capture the moment.” Alexander’s work gives us a method to instead release the moment, or possibly more accurately to renew the moment. At any rate, it gives us the power of choice in each moment.

being there / here

2008-02-01T12:10:00.003-05:00

When I am feeling a bit discouraged during those seemingly endless stretches of time between our (mostly) weekly riding lessons, I take heart from quotes like the ones below (excerpts from an article regarding Mark Rashid for U.K. Magazine written by Kathleen Lindley).

“The best tool in the world for working with horses is us, our body and mind, and we have it with us 24 hours a day to practice with. Most of us spend a relatively short period of time every day with our horses, but we still have hours and hours in which to practice our horsemanship. How we live our life is how we’ll work with our horse. If we live our lives in turmoil, hurry and frustration, then we’re likely to find those things present when we work with our horses. If, rather, we live our lives deliberately, consciously and in a centered way, we’ll find our horse work reflects that as well.”

Conversely, after spending even a brief amount of time around a horse, I notice a change in my state of being. My step has an unaccustomed weight and my breathing more of a quiet depth. I am more attuned to the subtleties of an interaction. Sometimes I’m sporting an ear-to-ear grin which subsides to a subtle smile. When I find myself back in the city, the memory of my last ride can bring some of this state back to me, causing me to slow down and be more present, and often expanding my vision and awareness as I remember to use soft eyes or allow more fullness in breathing.

“For Rashid, horsemanship is a way of life and a way to be. The best place to practice horsemanship, he says, is outside the arena, while driving or at work or with one’s children. We can practice being soft, breathing, awareness and patience anywhere, and then simply bring them to our horsemanship instead of trying to summon those things when we’re with our horse without practice.”

Mark Rashid discovered aikido after many years of experience with horses. A gifted storyteller, his books are all instructive and inspirational and one of them, Horsemanship Through Life, draws direct parallels between aspects of aikido training and riding horses.

Above, once again we see Calvin, the horse I found so special at the Centered Riding Instructors’ clinic in North Carolina last autumn. Auditing the clinic was a teacher of natural horsemanship, who spent quite a bit of time working what I considered “magic” on Calvin, although he did very little which I could actually see. He would hold Calvin’s rapt attention while often seeming to feign disinterest. Their connection was very palpable, if not easily described. Something about his way of being present.

buoyancy

2008-01-31T12:38:00.002-05:00

Helene has a wonderful new obsession: Gincy!

Gincy Self Bucklin gave the keynote speech at the Centered Riding International Symposium last November in Vermont and while she impressed me greatly, I did not re-connect with her teachings until Helene began to speak of virtually nothing else during the several hours we spend in the car each week driving to our riding lessons. I knew I had to learn to speak “Gincy” fast, so I devoured all the essays on her website and quickly became a fan.

A portion of one essay really captured my attention (it is actually a quote from one of her students) as it beautifully describes the process of applying Alexander Technique thinking with the resultant hallmark effect – a sensation of lightness or buoyancy. It also provides insight as to what experiences from aikido training might be useful if (when) the moment comes that I find myself on a shying or bolting horse. The buoyant quality that allows sticking with a shying horse sounds a lot like the quality of connection needed to protect myself while taking ukemi (falling from a throw) in aikido. The essay is about overcoming fear and the student is talking about how the fear generated from a horse-riding “incident” spilled over into her next plane flight. How she directed her thinking to transform the experience is very interesting:

“. . . I occupied myself with trying to learn more about the fear, what it does that a horse could feel and how to release it. . . .What worked the best was a physical ‘lightness’ that had to do with surrendering control: a buoyant quality a bit like sticking with a shying horse. . . . recognizing that there's nothing I can do and forcing me to trust the pilot. This made my monkey (emotional) brain release so that the reptile (reflex) part actually came to terms with the natural alarms that were going off. I seemed to find a rightness in what was happening so there came to be a shred of fun, something like a curiosity for learning. . . . I thought I'd discovered something about what fearless people do on a bucking horse or one that is bolting zigzag through the woods . . . trusting the horse . . . turns on the ability to be in the zone where Michael Jordan can fly or I can rock-hop down a creek without looking. If you allow that buoyancy . . . suddenly the body has a celebratory response to challenge, kind of a natural high.”

Buoyancy can also describe personal qualities such as irrepressibility (being “unsinkable”), perkiness (cheerfulness that bubbles to the surface), liveliness and good spirit. Can these states of mind be encouraged by the release of tension in the physical body and, conversely, does the sensation of buoyancy foster a lighter emotional tone?

Seen above in a photo which expresses both grounding and a clear sense of her center, combined with liveliness and lightness of spirit – joie de vivre as Helene might say -- is my daughter, Maya, at age four, enjoying life to the fullest.

greater than the sum

2008-01-26T20:00:00.006-05:00

Years of familiarity with the movements, rituals and rhythm which create any given aikido class afford me the luxury to explore the “bigger picture” in my own training. What is the nature of the interaction taking place? How can I generate the most power with the least amount of effort? How do I get out of my own way so that the forces of gravity and momentum begin to work to my advantage? Experience has taught me that the more I can find a way to let my center initiate and execute the movement, the more effective my techniques become. A phrase which comes often to mind: the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

Even when teaching a class full of beginners, I like to incorporate the idea that the movements created by O Sensei (the founder of aikido) are trying to teach us to use ourselves in an integrated way. Of course, I can hear those newer students thinking in exasperation (as I do when describing some of my experiences as a beginning rider) “easier said than done!” How can I consider the whole when I don’t yet know all the parts? Add to this the highly interactive nature of the art – learning to stay centered while blending with and redirecting aggressive energy -- it is a lot to keep track of.

The details of technique are of course important. But what manner of directing attention might allow more of the moving parts to take care of themselves, to find their own place in the larger dynamic movement? This is where familiarity with underlying principles is useful. Awareness of the center (of gravity), soft eyes (diffused to enhance peripheral vision), allowing weight to fall underside (grounding), extending energy (ki), awareness of breathing – when we practice with these principles in mind, other layers of detail can be superimposed. These principles can also begin to inform everyday activities.

Learning about riding through the Centered Riding technique developed by Sally Swift is renewing my connection to these basic principles, and has both enhanced and reinvigorated my aikido training. And because the Alexander Technique was such a big influence on Sally Swift, I often reflect on how his discovery is interwoven into her teaching tools. The synergies that exist between my interrelated endeavors are showing me, on a different level, how the whole really is greater than the sum of the parts.

The image above was taken after class today using my iPhone. My favorite photographs of aikido have a diffuse feeling to them, capturing some of the dynamic quality of the spiral movements. This one seems to convey the interaction as a whole, with just the detail of one hand slightly more in focus.

listening

2008-01-24T11:32:00.002-05:00

the act of hearing attentively

Reflecting on last week’s riding lesson, I realized that my experience was very full of me trying to tell my horse what to do. Granted, he was a horse in need of clear direction. In retrospect, however, it seems that I spent a lot of time talking at him – a predominantly one-sided conversation. Did I really think I could boss him around, and were my standards impossibly high? My internal dialogue might run like this: is he really close enough to the rail, did he try to cut that corner of the ring, is he walking fast enough, am I giving him clear direction, is he listening to me? Well, that sounds like a conversation with myself, not with my horse, doesn’t it?

The memory of a few moments where my experience was different is causing me to think about what might be the riding equivalent of the good conversationalist’s dictum: “talk less/listen more.” In a way we both were listening at those moments of perceived unity or harmony. As a musician, harmony has a definite meaning to me – and we were each creating our own tone. If you are playing in an ensemble, even just a duet, you must listen carefully and continue listening, matching your tone to the others’ and constantly making incredibly subtle adjustments, which preserve the element of harmony. This could also describe the process of “keeping your balance" – a misnamed phrase. Balance is not a fixed position you can “keep” or a destination you are aiming to reach, but a subtly dynamic state.

The riders I most admire all possess a quiet quality of leadership and I am beginning to realize that this quality is developed through listening, even more than by leading. It’s more about being than doing. A quote from a wonderful book called It’s A Lot Like Dancing, by the aikido teacher, Terry Dobson, reminds me that these riders all have a similar aura surrounding them, and one aspect of this way of being might be described by the word tact:

“Tact is the ability to do the right thing at the right time. How do we know how to do this? How to be tactful? You can’t decide to be tactful. You can only do it intuitively, when you are fully engaged, when your spirit is collected or synchronous. Tact comes from the Latin word tangere, which means “to touch.” In Aikido, we touch each other physically and spiritually. In this way we are learning to open ourselves up to tact, to saying and doing the right thing at the right time.”

Listening means being open to hearing or experiencing something we might not expect and being willing to adapt ourselves to the situation. The activity of listening encompasses both my outer and my inner life. By remaining open and receptive to the subtle intuitive cues coming from within I know I greatly enhance both my self-knowledge and my listening skills.

In recent lessons I have ridden and quickly become enamored of a large paint horse named Amigo, who just happens to have a few “issues.” I confessed to my friend Helene that paint horses always make my heart beat a little faster. Shown above is Jerry, who provided some of my very first positive riding experiences. I call him “that handsome devil.”

first things first

2008-01-16T23:56:00.002-05:00

Another Centered Riding Clinic has given me new inspiration, insight and food for thought. Jami Wallace, our instructor and Mary Ann Rudolph, the clinic organizer, kindly allowed us to participate, even though we were only able to attend the Sunday portion of the two-day clinic held at idyllic Sunny Brook Farm in Newtown, Connecticut. Thank goodness for the sunshine and mild (for January) weather, which allowed us to ride in a beautiful outdoor ring.

In my Centered Riding Member’s book where clinics and related bodywork activities are recorded, the space provided for “what I learned” does encourage me to reflect…
I was struck by how much information we were attempting to process during each moment of our riding, which gave us many possibilities of where to place our attention, as we received a lot of wonderful individual instruction and correction from Jami and her assistant Laurie. We were reminded of many of the imagery tools as we rode in our small group of beginners. The Centered Riding method is very “principle-based,” yet many choices exist regarding how to best apply those principles.

The exercises and imagery are the “what” of the equation and lead inevitably back to the “how” –- how to get out of our own way so that the basic principles underlying the technique can function. Jami often reminds us to “allow” this or that to happen, as opposed to doing something – allow gravity to work, allow the back of your knee and calf to lengthen, allow the weight to sink down through your heel.

But, what allows me to allow? What is the hierarchy of useful tools, or images, or thoughts? How do I prioritize the many choices available to me in each moment? What choice helps to make sense of all the others? Experiences in applying Alexander’s principle over the years have shown me that I am best served by returning first and often to a simple thought process -- one that invokes the master reflex of body mechanics which he discovered. This he called “primary control” and when it functions it literally creates the “tone,” bringing the body into a state of equilibrium, releasing excess tension and opening up awareness in the process.

Many reinforcing experiences have shown me the value of making my first priority noticing the possibility of ease in the area where my head rests atop my spine. This is the key area where even a slight release of tension will reflexively redistribute the energy throughout our entire mechanism. Then other and various images can be overlayed to greater effect, and information about the body as a whole is received more accurately. When I work with people who are interested in learning to apply Alexander’s discovery to their activities, I encourage them to create a new habit for themselves – the habit of finding moments within their activities to first, “catch a glimpse” of ease in the head/neck area, and then to observe what happens to the ease as they continue their activity. This describes a process which is meant to be repeated. The quality of ease will ebb and flow, based on the quality of thinking applied.

According to feedback received from more experienced riders, these moments of noticing the ease seem be equivalent to the concept of the half-halt -- a momentary re-balancing of the rider which also re-balances the horse, and communicates a transition or impending change of activity. To me, this means that riding as an activity is inherently full of opportunities to apply Alexander's principle. The half-halt concept was completely mysterious to me until a discussion with a fine dressage rider helped make this connection.*

My own thoughts eventually circled back to an impressive book which talks about priorities in the sense of choices we make about how to use our time, “First Things First.” This book goes far beyond the usual time management systems and suggests getting in touch with deeply-held values and principles, linking those with goals, and learning to understand how the choices we make in each moment ultimately create our lives. From a chapter in the book called “Integrity in the Moment of Choice”:

“Quality of life depends on what happens in the space between stimulus and response.”

Wikipedia entry on First Things First

*The half-halt is a fascinating aspect of riding and will be explored in more entries as my understanding grows; an entry on the psoas muscle has been gestating for some time.

The photo above was taken when Mary Ann took us to visit four two-year-olds who are pastured together at Sunny Brook Farm. On the left is Rudy, son of the Appaloosa mare I rode in the clinic. These young horses displayed a very lively camaraderie, showing off their unaffected and naturally beautiful movement as they teased each other and played together.

that elusive quality

2008-01-10T17:20:00.004-05:00

Today on my birthday my horoscope in part advised: “open up your ideas about what happiness means.”

A British medical study has documented several kinds of positive physical changes which occur in people when they experience feelings of happiness or contentment. These include lowered levels of both the stress hormone, cortisol and of two protein markers of inflammation in the body. Excerpts from the article:

“But if happier people are healthier people, the more difficult question remains: How do you become happier?” . . .

"We need to help people to recognize the things that make them feel good and truly satisfied with their lives, so that they spend more time doing these things."

Read the entire article here (Happiness May be Good for Your Health):

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has spent many years studying the psychology of happiness. He has found that certain types of activities promote a state which includes both immersion and awareness which he calls “flow.” The flow state is also known colloquially as being “in the zone” or “in the groove,” and is often described by high-performance athletes, artists, craftspeople or skilled musicians. This morning I found no less than four of his books on my shelf; the first and a classic is:
“Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.”

Above: one of my many happy moments of interaction with Beau Dandy, a horse I am getting to know and ride in my Centered Riding lessons with Jami Wallace.

confidence

2008-01-06T09:46:00.004-05:00

Yes, it’s the dictionary again…

1a: a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances
1b: faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
2: the quality or state of being certain
3: a relation of trust or intimacy

A state of mind or a manner marked by easy coolness and freedom from uncertainty, diffidence, or embarrassment. Confidence stresses faith in oneself and one's powers without any suggestion of conceit or arrogance.

The northeast winter weather and flu season, along with simple logistics of the holiday season conspired to keep me off a horse for more than a month – a period of time which I initially found to be extremely frustrating. Gradually I adjusted and accepted it somewhat, especially as January drew closer and I was consumed with another creative project. Now that we are back in the saddle, I have noticed a change (dare I say it) in my riding.

Suddenly, I seem to have a newfound sense confidence, and I am trying to figure out what happened, what this means, where it comes from. My more experienced riding friends and mentors have assured me that some day I will become a confident rider who trusts herself and her horse. I know that given my level of obsession, they are probably correct; however, up until very recently, I have felt a constant undertone of doubt and frustration. How refreshing to sense some elevation from what George Leonard might call a learning “plateau.” He describes the process of mastery as a long, winding path or journey, with inevitable periods where effort is applied but nothing seems to be happening.

So what has allowed my confidence to begin to emerge? Is it simply a matter of a certain amount of time logged in the saddle? Maybe the many hours spent immersed in the production of my creative project with ample time for thought and reflection was a kind of gestation period for this new phase. Whatever the reason, it is a relief and a refreshing change – a kind of letting go of fear, a settling down, an acceptance of what might happen when I get on the horse and a willingness to just experience it and deal with it moment-by-moment.

My confidence on the aikido mat has had 24 years to develop, and before I started riding I think I had begun to take it for granted -- but I also remember my early years of training quite vividly. This time in riding reminds me of a day about six months after I began aikido when I was walking home after class and realized that I knew where my center was located and that I sensed an energy moving me forward from that place. Now I understand that experience was a first glimpse into a whole new world and one that continues to reveal itself to me – a process like peeling away layers of an onion.

Finally, these words of encouragement from my wise young riding mentor Liz Rome:

“I have many days where I don’t feel like I find the unity, but I am thankful for the days I do… and you are very close indeed to finding it as well. Once you trust yourself and you can trust the horse you are riding (even if they are being silly) you will have found your secret place. No one can teach that. . . it comes with time. Kind of like kids (and some adults) have to learn to love themselves, riders have to learn to trust themselves.“

The photo above both inspires and instructs me – Annelie exhibits a perfectly confident poise as she receives comments from the clinic instructor while remaining in delicate yet complete contact with her horse, Sober. Notice her solid yet light seat connection and rein contact and the attentive way Sober is “listening” to her.

if wishes were horses

2008-01-01T18:29:00.001-05:00

This morning I happened upon a PBS broadcast of Dr. Christiane Northrup, MD, someone I have followed for many years, first encountering her wisdom in the pages of East West Journal, the old macrobiotic magazine. She is a wonderful healer, teacher and holistic ObGyn. She mentioned something in the broadcast which intrigued me when she described the power of an image to cause a measurable hormonal response in the body. She suggested that we all need to have access to an image that makes us “melt” inside, that really moves us and puts us in touch with our love and concern – for some it will be a baby or small child, for others a kitten, puppy or a helpless baby bird. Everyone can probably name one that works for them. Apparently it is well-documented that release of the master hormone DHEA is triggered by this type of thinking -- specifically in women, but I would imagine that positive hormonal reactions are connected to all human feelings of deep care and concern.

Today especially I had wanted to share an inspiring image and a wish for us all for the year to come. When I pulled Dr. Northrup’s book off my shelf to see if I could find the relevant passage, I found it overflowing with inspiration. I highly recommend the book: Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, which has been called “a masterpiece for every woman who has an interest in her body, her mind, and her soul.” From the final paragraph:

“Commit to living your dreams – one day at a time. This is the process that is required to heal our families, our communities, and our planet. May you go forth now, to take a nap, to embrace a child, to feel the sun on your face, or to eat a good meal slowly, knowing deep within you that the next step for healing and living joyfully is already there, waiting for you to listen to it, waiting to be born into the world – through you…”

Above you see a photo that has caused any number of big, burly martial artists of the male gender and equal numbers of women to “melt” in response. Calvin is a special horse I met at the Centered Riding Instructors’ Clinic in North Carolina and Liz Rome (introducing daughter Keeley to Calvin) is the beautiful, patient and skilled rider chosen by his owner to ride him during the 3-day clinic. I felt a special connection to Liz – she had an earnest and determined, yet open quality about her, in addition to her obvious riding expertise and experience. She was also the same age as my own daughter. Even as a novice rider, I could appreciate the way she handled Calvin. She was just the calm, quiet, patient and steady leader he needed to reassure him through his fear issues.

best friends

2007-12-27T15:01:00.002-05:00

Among the special new friends I have met this year through riding, is my intrepid traveling companion, Helene. She teaches me through her constant example of kindness and great sensitivity to animals. She is always thinking of our equine friends – what does this one need, how is so-and-so feeling…and she takes action – purchasing items to make them more comfortable or starting a small campaign to help a horse find a new home.

Helene shared her generous spirit this Christmas by sponsoring a rescued horse for me at Best Friends Animal Society in Utah. Please take a moment to look at their inspiring site – you might fall in love with some special friends there and be moved to do some sponsoring yourself, as was I:

Shown above is “my” horse Dee. He is certainly the oldest horse I have heard of! Now he is living out his remaining years with love and good care, along with the 1,500 other animals to be found at the sanctuary on any given day. You can read about him here:

G.I. Gurdjieff said that we should practice loving plants and animals first so that we might eventually develop the capacity for truly loving other human beings. He also said that horses and dogs are the only animals that realize they are not, but long to be, human.

you never know

2007-12-22T12:44:00.004-05:00

Captured above is the hypnotic movement of the Mevlevi Order of Whirling Dervishes. Founded in the 13th century by Sufi mystic Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi, the order has preserved the tradition of whirling for 800 years. An expression of faith, the rhythmic rotation of the ancient sema ritual focuses on the relationship between body and soul, man and God, lover and beloved. Sacred music performed live by Turkish musicians enhances the ritual performance. This photo is from the UC Riverside website announcement of their performance.

Years ago as a young woman, feeling wise for my age but with little life experience behind me, I read the Sufi stories collected by Idries Shah. I found them charming, interesting, but I put them aside. Once such story, “Fatima the Spinner and the Tent” was brought back into my awareness several years ago by a dear friend who was attempting to reassure me that my hard work, perseverance, and many and varied interests all fit together into some kind of grand scheme which would soon be revealed to me. Fatima discovers that the challenging experiences in her life are really blessings in disguise, which ultimately lead her to great happiness. Click here for the full text.

Periodically I would return to the story – I understood the concept, but exactly how did it apply to me -- how was I meant to weave together the various and varied aspects of my life into a coherent whole? Frustrated and impatient, I thought the best plan would be to “choose a direction and pursue it.”

Just about the time I thought I might make this big choice, I took that first riding lesson. Initially it was just a thrilling new experience, a feeling of beginning to fulfill a long-time dream. "Try it and see what happens, see where it might lead you" I said to myself … I soon discovered that I had waded into a flowing stream, or actually more like fallen into a river with a strong, swift current, which carried me away, almost against my will – except that I was more than happy to go along!

Already my involvement with horses has brought many facets of myself into perspective. Each day brings some synchronous event, or another piece of the puzzle falls into place, an “aha!” moment, or insight. I know this is a time of grace, where my openness and effort have found some equilibrium.

My sister Carolyn is famous for two stock expressions, spoken often and rendered with feeling in deaf speech -- one of them is “you never know.” You can imagine the multitude of uses for such a phrase.

it's not what you think

2007-12-14T15:15:00.010-05:00

“Humans are born communicators; we don’t have to wait until we acquire language skills to get our point across. We have awareness before we have spoken language . . . Wordless communications happen all the time . . . so subtly that they often go unnoticed while the constant noise of conscious thoughts and emotions claim our attention. But intuition is no less real for its subtlety. We don’t need words to hear what our hearts are saying.” --Excerpt from The Language of Animals by Carol Gurney (emphasis mine)

“When we interact with our horse the most important part to the horse is the metamessage – the part that supplies the context and meaning to our messages. They read that in our body. Ease or fright, fun or work, alert or sluggish – how we say it. The extent to which our whole body sends the same message is what the horse looks at to figure out whether or not we’re sure. It’s a lightning fast, intuitive, visceral level of communication between bodies."
--Excerpt from the T'ai Chi for Horsemen page on the Prairie Winds Equine Massage website of Sarah and Michael Stenson.

All the “threads” on this page of the Prairie Winds site are great. The EMT (equine massage therapy) program offered by Prairie Winds has me totally intrigued – it is a two-month, 350 hour immersion and is based in an energetic perspective.

Dawn Harris and her horse “Valentine” pictured above certainly personify the heart-to-heart connection. I met Dawn at a Centered Riding Clinic in Pedericktown, NJ this autumn. She was very excited to hear that I taught the Alexander Technique, as she would like to incorporate it as part of her continuing ed as a Centered Riding Instructor. Dawn loaned me her sweet Appaloosa “Danny Boy” to ride at the CR Instructors Clinic in North Carolina. She patiently helped me tack him up and shared generously from her wealth of knowledge and experience. Dawn grew up in Texas on a working ranch. She tells me she learned many things “the hard way” – now she is approaching her riding and teaching from the Centered Riding perspective; her big heart and hard knocks experiences are serving her well!

so i've heard

2007-12-13T07:48:00.003-05:00

Growing up as the only hearing child in my family, the oldest daughter with two profoundly deaf sisters has, I know, given me some unique communication and perceptual abilities -- verbal, visual, spatial, kinesthetic and some synthesis of modalities which I appreciate more each day. I have always been the person who can understand the incomprehensible accents and "hear between the lines" of less eloquent speakers. Of course I am ever more curious to discover how this may manifest in my relationship with horses.

I began playing the oboe at age ten when Carolyn was eight and a half and Barbara was just four, possibly around the time when the above photo was taken, and I continued on to earn my degree and play professionally. My sisters always struggled to understand what in the world I was doing...but they used to find it very, very funny as well and would do hilarious imitations of me. This poem attempts to assume their point of view.

A wonderful book by Oliver Sachs called Seeing Voices beautifully describes American Sign Language (ASL) as a complete spatial language and also documents deaf culture and history. My sisters were raised at a time when deaf children were either taught sign language, or they were schooled in the "aural/oral method of communication" (speech and lip reading). My parents chose the latter method. Two deaf children learning to speak and read lips -- they might possibly read my lips, but you can imagine the difficulties reading each others lips. Not only were they not being taught ASL, sign language was not allowed in our house. Needless to say, we developed our own!

Today most deaf children are taught through "total communication," a combination of methods. My sisters grew up to learn ASL, to marry deaf men and bear children with perfect hearing (two each) -- all gifted communicators, who can speak and sign simultaneously. My sisters also developed excellent speech and lip reading skills -- however, despite their fluency in ASL, they are recognized by the deaf community as "non-native" signers.

I continue to try to understand the complexity of my relationship to my sisters, to expression and communication, my place within the family and how it all has influenced my place in the world. An interesting article here, contains an extensive resource list at the end.

embodying a dream

2007-12-10T22:47:00.006-05:00

I guess that is what I am trying to do … we use the vehicle of our physical form to realize our dreams -- by refining and clarifying ourselves.

More than ten years ago I first read a book called The Intuitive Body by an aikidoist named Wendy Palmer.

Here is the excerpt which planted the seed in me that “some day” I too would ride horses…it is from the Introduction and is called "Embodying A Dream."

The photo shows my Swedish friend, Annelie Andersson-Beck partaking of the awesome power of her Swedish warmblood gelding, Sober, at a Susan Harris Centered Riding (& Centered Jumping) Clinic. Annelie has told me that she and Sober like nothing better than to ride out into the wind when it is snowing, Sober tossing his head with delight -- I like to visualize that!

a walk in the park

2007-12-09T10:45:00.006-05:00

A recent newsletter from my State Senator began with this bit of understatement: “Dear Friend: New York City is known worldwide as an exciting, vibrant city. Those of us who live here know that day to day challenges come along with that excitement.”

No kidding.

Having been transplanted into this environment from the Midwest almost 30 years ago, I have become adept at negotiating my daily journeys through busy streets and crowded subways. The first few years found me often frightened, upset by a scene of homelessness or chaos or unusual behavior from types of people not encountered so readily out in the Heartland. Time and experience have helped, but aikido training has been particularly useful, giving me a new sense of myself and expanding my perspective on my surroundings. Now it is not often that I lose my composure on the street or feel unsafe or uncomfortable anymore.

Recently, my toolbox of urban coping techniques has expanded to include many powerful images from Centered Riding®, and even more recently Eric Franklin’s work.

The hierarchy of techniques seems to start with centering -- a sense of my whole self, facilitated by using soft eyes which expands awareness and brings in a tremendous amount of information about my surroundings. Invoking soft eyes also has the effect of releasing tension in the primary head-neck relationship, which puts me more in touch with my breathing and my grounding. So a kind of chain of awareness events begins to unfold and it is almost as if I become an observer, yet I know that I am also orchestrating my experience.

Because I have relatively limited time actually riding a horse, I have found renewed motivation to use my City life in any way which might contribute to becoming a better rider; of course the practical application of body awareness techniques has been part of my way of life since my early Alexander training with Marj Barstow in Nebraska. Remembering to apply what you have been learning, or slowing down enough to apply – finding the spaces and moments within your activities – these are the challenges to growth, and change. And application while safely inside your practice room, or even on the aikido mat may seem easier than having the presence to overlay some of the imagery in the midst of a noisy and crowded city street or sidewalk or on a packed subway platform. But, it can be done and to great effect. By starting simply and returning gently to basics, I am discovering that I can continue to experiment, adding more layers of images and awareness. Then, if something unexpected or startling does occur I am in a much more responsive space to deal with it.

Everyone must find the awareness tools which work for them and the moments to apply them within their lives. A few examples from my morning commute:

Subway stairs – lots of them, and a great opportunity to use the “bubbling spring”, the balance point in the center of each foot, just behind the ball. Place it on each step and notice all your joints working more easily – ankle, knee, and hip – and notice the spring it gives you; contrast that with trudging flat-footed up the steps.

Negotiating crowds – lots of these too. First invoke soft eyes and then use an image of your center guiding you easily through the chaos; sometimes my center is a large glowing sphere (give it a color!), which is spinning to generate my movement. In order to turn, my center changes its rotation – I notice that sometimes when I try to negotiate a turn without my center, I find my neck tensing slightly and my chin jutting forward. Allowing the center take you through is a different experience altogether.

Feeling the pressure of tense and hurried people (a way of life in NYC). I sometimes experiment with becoming s-l-o-w-e-r and allow my weight to also sink down (weight underside); I consciously resist the urge to jump ahead, instead allowing people to go in front of me, or holding a door for someone coming up from behind – I find this certainly improves my experience, but I have also had encounters where I felt others calm down as well. I recently had this experience while riding – for me it was a waiting, an expanding of time, a not rushing ahead or trying to make my horse do something – much more of a cooperative kind of leadership.

So, the photo above is the view from my office – I am near Central Park, so close that I can take a little walk there each day and create another small piece of sanity in the City. Of course, I often work through my lunch time and do not take this opportunity, so my entry here is to remind myself that this might be a good use of 15 minutes of my time – even though life in New York City is not “a walk in the park!”

what’s on my mind

2007-11-30T07:33:00.001-05:00

The photo above shows a gorgeous property (currently for sale) in Burgundy which covers 11 acres and includes stables, bridle paths and other minor amenities such as a manor house, chateau and tower “guesthouse”… here is a link for those of you who like to dream.

Have I been procrastinating lately, mulling over which would be the best subject for a post…? Possibly, but as I collected all my current books, videos, magazines and DVDs from around the apartment into a stack here, it occurred to me that I have been quite busy consuming information and connecting ideas -- reading, watching DVDs, looking up information on the internet, researching possible seminars and trips (all revolving around or somehow connected with riding a horse!). Here is a list of items gathered up:

Zen & Horseback Riding
Applying the Principles of Meditation to Riding Horses, by Tom Nagel

Horse Gaits, Balance and Movement by Susan E. Harris

Ride From Within --
Use Tai Chi Principles to Awaken Your Natural Balance and Rhythm, by James Shaw

Dynamic Alignment Through Imagery, Eric Franklin

Ride the Right Horse --
Understanding the Core Equine Personalities & How to Work with Them, Yvonne Barteau

Animals in Translation --
Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior, Temple Grandin

The Mindbody Prescription – Healing the Body, Healing the Pain, John Sarno, MD

Craniosacral Therapy and the Energetic Body, Roger Gilchrist

Dressage in Harmony, Walter Zettl

The Complete Horse and Rider, Alois Podhajsky

Jin Shin Jyutsu for Your Animal Companion, Adele Leas

BodySense - Revolutionize Your Riding with the Alexander Technique, Sally A. Tottle

Albinus on Anatomy, Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle

and of course, Centered Riding and Centered Riding II, Sally Swift

DVD: 2006 Centered Riding Symposium, including presentations on the history of CR, The Rider's Seat (by Tom Nagel, mentioned above), Feldenkrais and CR, Tai Chi, Rider Biomechanics, Natural Horsemanship, Alexander Body Work and Life Skills!

DVD: The Visible Horse, Susan Harris & Peggy Brown
DVD: Moving Naturally, A Portrait of Marj Barstow (Nebraska Public Television, 1981)
DVD: GAIAM - Balance Ball Exercise Sampler: Strengthen core muscles, improve balance and posture

Magazine: Aikido Today with an article about a black belt test by an equestrian which incorporated riding!

Here is my Google Book List which I use to keep track of favorite books.

However, I recommend ordering horse-related books from Trafalgar Square Books.

upcoming blog posts:

-video footage of Marj Barstow, at age 82, effortlessly making her way from the ground to the back of her horse and riding on her Nebraska ranch (in a lope – that’s a Western canter, right?) – technical challenges are keeping me from realizing this post… but it will soon be possible
-habit & change
-my urban laboratory – using the City’s challenging environment
-the psoas is where it’s at
-the center

grounding

2007-11-12T17:37:00.002-05:00

I think I know something about what it means to be grounded when my feet are actually touching the ground. It is about my connection to the earth and my relationship with gravity. Sometimes I am aware that it includes a sensation of weight and stability, but with an inherent quality of ease. Sometimes it speaks to me of calm simplicity. When I have a heightened awareness of the present moment I sense my ground, and then often notice that I am centered and balanced as well. I might feel that I am breathing in through the soles of my feet. It’s an experience of aliveness. These are some aspects of what it means to me to be grounded, at least while standing on the earth, walking on the streets of New York or on the aikido mat.

However, this connection to the earth is not something which can be "achieved." It comes most often when we stop doing and trying and just notice “what is.” It's a quality of awareness, not an act of will. At least one aikido Sensei has told us that we don’t have to try to be grounded -- we already are naturally grounded. We just need to allow ourselves that luxury -- by getting out of our own way. Alexander Technique shows us that being grounded is part of our natural coordination; young children and animals don’t have to work on their grounding -- they experience it directly, without interference from habitual tension patterns.

So, sometimes my training and awareness allow me to suspend my effort or "doing" for a while and experience my connection to the earth, my "being." But put me on a horse . . . and then what happens? It certainly brings me into a new relationship to the earth! And now my connection must be “wireless” so to speak. This connection is an energetic one, and even after years of practice and study of various martial and healing arts, this new energetic relationship is elusive. However, I am beginning to understand that I’m going to have to allow it to develop, through the use of the Centered Riding images and through diligent yet delicate repetition.

Sally Swift created many powerful images as part of her pedagogy. One is of a giant fir tree which, as you sit on the horse, rises majestically up through the center of your body and at the same time grows roots extending deep down into the earth. Another visualization allows your legs to extend all the way down to reach the ground from your seat on the horse, where you imagine bare feet with toes wiggling in the mud!

At the Centered Riding Symposium in Vermont earlier this month, Peggy Brown, a Level IV Centered Riding instructor, gave a vivid demonstration of the power of the imagery of centering and projecting intent. She said (while talking about Centered Driving) “I can project my center 3 feet in front of me {pause}; or I can project my center 10 feet in front of me {pause}; or I can project it to the back of the room {pause}; or into the parking lot outside the hotel” etc. -- and each time you felt her do what she said, and had no doubt whatsoever that she certainly could project her center (energy and intent) -- wherever she wanted! That demonstration assures me that I may also, eventually, learn to use this "thought power" which unites body and mind to create an energetic bridge, to complete the circuit from my seat on the horse, down to the earth -- to the ground.

Definitions, Terms & Food for Thought

Ground (Science: physics) a conducting connection with the earth, whereby the earth is made part of an electric circuit.

A ground is a direct electrical connection to the earth, a connection to a particular point in an electrical or electronic circuit, or an indirect connection that operates as the result of capacitance between wireless equipment and the earth or a large mass of conductive material.

Electrical grounding is important because it provides a reference voltage level (called zero potential or ground potential) against which all other voltages in a system are established and measured. An effective electrical ground connection also minimizes the susceptibility of equipment to interference . . . eliminates electrostatic buildup that can damage system components . . . In effect, an electrical ground drains away any unwanted buildup of electrical charge. When a point is connected to a good ground, that point tends to stay at a constant voltage, regardless of what happens elsewhere in the circuit or system. The earth, which forms the ultimate ground, has the ability to absorb or dissipate an unlimited amount of electrical charge.

Wireless is a term used to describe telecommunications in which electromagnetic waves (rather than some form of wire) carry the signal over part or all of the communication path.

intention

2007-10-25T06:23:00.001-04:00

The leader-follower balance in the rider-horse relationship has been fascinating and mystifying to me during these early stages of learning to ride. Let’s see, you have to direct your horse, but you must also allow your body to follow your horse. Soon you realize that you most definitely must lead, you must have clear intent and assertiveness, all the while maintaining a quiet centeredness as well as a responsiveness. Let’s just say this: “easier-said-than-done” is really an understatement.

The uke or following role was easier for me to learn in aikido –- it seemed natural. And as a beginner in aikido, you can get away with not being a leader for quite some time. It does not work that way in riding –- your horse will be the first to show you this! The confident, assertive person I can embody on the aikido mat does not seem to be the same person who is learning to ride the horse. This is one of many fascinating discoveries so far. I am learning that all my ideas and conceptual understanding are going to be put to the real test -- the horse test.

Last week, while riding the dream horse “Phoenix” who seemed to respond positively, almost at my first thought, I began to imagine that I knew something…”I’m really beginning to get it” I told my friends later. This week, the smart little being, who is technically a pony in horse's clothing, aptly named “You Who,” quickly got my attention when he did pretty much just as he pleased, despite the clearest intent and aids I was able to muster –- a humbling experience!

“Clear Intent” is one of the Centered Riding basic principles of particular interest then. How do I communicate to my horse that I am capable, calm and the leader – something horses as herd and prey animals need in order to feel secure. And how do I quietly provide all that without engaging the tendency to push, pull or generally add something extra to the interaction, especially with a less responsive or more willful horse. While I do understand that many of my goals and concerns will be learned on and from the horse and worked out in the riding ring in the course of “more time in the saddle,” I cannot seem to stop trying to further my understanding by reading, watching and making connections between the various other disciplines in my experience.

Obviously, it is not force which allows a 120-pound woman dressage rider to prompt a 1,200 pound horse to dance around a riding ring with her! As you watch her you really cannot see what she is “doing” even when someone describes it to you. Similarly, it is also not force which allows a 120-pound woman aikidoist to receive and neutralize the power of the strike or grab from a 220-pound training partner and even sometimes project him dramatically yet safely across the mat. And often to the uninitiated observer what she “did” to allow a positive outcome is too subtle to grasp.

So the leader-follower balance seems to correlate to understanding what you have to do versus what you must then allow. And the very first thing which you actually do is really quite a subtle mental activity – a clear thought or intention. If you mix up the order of priority and attempt to allow to happen the very thing which requires initially and simply the application of clear intent, you may then find yourself having to try to do something to compensate. The cart before the horse, so to speak? In aikido the correlation is seen in the timing of the response to an attack. In fact we are developing our awareness of situations so that we are not “caught off guard” for an attack but are sensitive to the first hint of the movement of that aggressive energy towards us. The more closely timed your response is to that moment, the less you actually have to do after that. Being in the right place at the right time might describe an effective aikidoist’s reaction.

Once your priorities and timing are in order, the right amount of effort becomes more obvious. Clear intent is something you initiate with your mind – it begins as a thought and it continues as a thought put into action – we get into trouble when we add something extra in the form of unnecessary muscular tension or force which we think will enhance our effectiveness. Renewing the thought or intention repeatedly seems to describe what it is that we must do; after that we must learn to more and more “get out of the way” and allow the activity to have a chance to unfold.

How does this translate into horsemanship? My hope is that with experience and practice of clear intent a kind of natural leadership may emerge and that I may develop a quality of intention that will encourage my horse to want to follow me. Idealistic? Yes. One thing I’m beginning to understand is that, especially when a horse is involved, you can think about it, read and write about it, watch videos and demonstrations, conceptualize, wish for it and hope for it and yes, dream about it -- but when you get on that horse you have to ride it! And that’s what I’m so excited about learning.

The photo above was taken at Susan Harris' CR Clinic at Chapter One Farm in Pedricktown, NJ. Lacey Williams is a wonderful young rider who impressed me in so many ways -- her quiet demonstration of the principles we were learning, her brief mention that she used to enjoy breezing horses at the race track and playing polo!, the fact that she was still recovering from a serious back injury, her courage and composure after a fall, her curiosity about the Alexander Technique -- not to mention her patience showing me how to tack up the horse I was to ride in the clinic, answering my endless questions and listening to my beginner's observations.

harmony

2007-10-19T08:24:00.004-04:00

The video shown here is courtesy of Sergio & Candice Cuevas and is the introductory collage of a DVD documenting a series of aikido seminars by women instructors in 2006. It is a short, beautifully-edited piece which shows aikido’s principles in action throughout, while highlighting individual personalities. I am honored to be included, especially among these powerful, centered, accomplished women –- my teachers, friends and training partners: Karen De Paola (Skylands Aikikai), Laura Pavlick (Litchfield Hills Aikikai), Claire Keller, Ruth Peyser and Sharon Silberstein (The New York Aikikai).

ai – ki – do

a Japanese martial art based on joining with and then redirecting an attacker’s energy through the use of circular and spiral movements

ai = love, harmony
ki = energy, life force
do = way or path

a method for harmonizing the life force, a path to loving all beings

A Japanese sensei (master teacher) of ours recently told me that he felt that one of the common translations of aikido “The Way of Harmony” did not adequately describe what O’Sensei (Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of aikido) was working towards in his development of the art. This teacher had been an apprentice to the founder and his recollection was that O’Sensei never spoke about aikido in this way. He spoke of it as being “your relationship to your God” and that was about all he ever said, leaving it to each individual to find the meaning of that phrase through repetition of the techniques. This implies a very personal process -- both an internal journey and a finding of your place in the world.

Back to the dictionary:
harmony - congruity of parts with one another and with the whole

1. agreement, accord, harmonious relations
2. a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity
3. Music:
a) any simultaneous combination of tones

—Synonyms 1. concord, unity, peace, amity, friendship. 2. consonance, conformity, correspondence

Well, there is a lot of “peace, love and agreement” in the dictionary’s description. And you may be able to sense some of that in the video, as what starts as an attack seems to somehow end up turning and spiraling around and dissipating. You may also feel the conflict, the power and the martial application. And you will sense the different personalities and energies of the practitioners -- it’s all there on the mat -- a microcosm of our world.

But this condition of harmony does not have to be consonant -- it can also be dissonant (as in 3a above): "any simultaneous combination of tones." In other words, it is not always pretty, in a conventional sense. Things don't always appear to be peaceful and lovely or free of conflict, yet aikido contains, even in the apparent chaos, an underlying order -- “congruity of parts with one another and with the whole.” I think that really says a lot about what happens to a person as they become more integrated within themselves through aikido practice.

The primary means of transmission of aikido was through direct physical contact with O’Sensei, as the students initiated the attacks and had to learn to absorb his powerful response. Learning to absorb a powerful infusion of energy -- this seems to me one of the things we are doing when we ride a horse. You could say the same of sports involving other forces of nature: surfing, skiing, windsurfing. In aikido (and in riding?) we must learn to both absorb and to project energy. One person gives the attack (“uke”) and one person receives the attack (“nage”). Uke takes ukemi -- “ukemi” translates roughly as the art of falling. This interaction has a kind of leader-follower structure, but upon closer observation you may notice that the distinction between who is leading and who is following starts to become less clear. The roles seem to reverse and sometimes seem to contain each other.

So I am wondering what you get out of watching this footage. Do you see a graceful, choreographed dance, a series of conflict resolutions, a playground of energies? No longer able to see aikido from an objective, outside perspective, as I watch, the movements resonate in my muscle fibers. The riders I am meeting all impress me with their ability to see movement in horse, rider and the interaction between the two. Alexander colleagues who worked with Marj Barstow (a horsewoman herself) were all certainly trained to see, both deeply and broadly. So I leave it to each of you to enjoy this small taste of aikido. The beauty of the art and the power of its principles in action inspire me every day. The intense interaction, the connection to a greater power -- these also draw me to horses and help me persevere in riding.

For my Centered Riding friends who have asked about places to learn aikido, visit the website of the United States Aikido Federation to find a list of dojos near you.

poise

2007-10-18T13:26:00.001-04:00

poise 1 (poiz)

n.
1. A state of balance or equilibrium; stability.
2. Freedom from affectation or embarrassment; composure.
3. The bearing or deportment of the head or body; mien.
4. A state or condition of hovering or being suspended.

Research is beginning to show that we can gain much useful kinesthetic reprogramming through our visual sense, by observing people and animals who exhibit ease and freedom in their movement and “carriage.”

This image of an Indian dancer is one which speaks to me about the quality of “poise” – in the general sense of a state of being, but also specifically, of the poise of the head atop the spine. And along with poise, comes the concept of balance, and possibly even the terms posture and alignment. She does appear to have good balance and good posture and alignment in this static snapshot of a moment in time. But there is more to it than that, and as you develop your powers of observation you will become very aware of and receptive to this quality of expressed ease. From this image we can extrapolate her larger movement, remembering that balance, posture and alignment are not static, but highly dynamic and consist of a series of continuing, minute adjustments in the relationship of our component parts.

Consulting the dictionary came to me as an afterthought. I have always liked to use the phrase in describing Alexander’s discovery “the quality of ease in the poise of the head resting on top of the spine determines the quality of ease of movement and coordination throughout the entire body.” Well apparently poise is also known to include balance, stability, equilibrium, and a quality of hovering (floating?) and suspension – reflecting polarity between earthly, or earthy and more ethereal concepts. And to be poised also describes an emotional state where we are composed and have freedom from affectation. Poise also suggests a moment of clarity or a state of being ready for anything – “poised for action.”

So, poise manifests in our inner state, our outward appearance and in our relationship to the world. Once again here we are, poised between Heaven and Earth – receiving, transmuting, translating and balancing different qualities of energy.

So I share this image as a reminder to myself that this natural poise is really our human birthright. It is the same type of relationship of head to body you will see in small children before they have had a chance to begin to interfere with their innate coordination; and you will also see it in the movement patterns of healthy animals. The good news is that we can learn to allow this quality of ease to manifest in ourselves -- not by trying to create it or feel it or recreate it, but by noticing its possibility and particularly by remembering that it originates in the poise of our heads on top of our spines.

sacred space

2007-10-09T21:21:00.003-04:00

The photograph used to illustrate the first entry "the dream" was chosen for its qualities of poise, balance, suspension and stillness in movement and the cathedral-like expanse of space between the rider and the rafters of the riding arena. The rider is Annelie Andersson-Beck on her horse, Sober (Swedish for "elegant"). I met Annelie at my very first Centered Riding Clinic at the end of August and we each recognized in the other a kindred spirit. She looked at me and said 'I hear you practice Aikido!' and I looked at her and said 'and you ride dressage!' She is a Centered Riding instructor and a competitive dressage and event rider. She had encountered several riding books which mentioned Aikido. One of them was "Horsemanship Through Life" by Mark Rashid.

The experience described in the poem was really in my dream (and is my dream) and I woke up with the phrase 'Riding Between Heaven & Earth' reverberating through me. For me the dream foreshadows the experience of integrating my Aikido training and Alexander Technique experience into my riding. In Aikido we use a number of breathing and awareness exercises to remind us that the center of our being is really the confluence of the vast energies in the center of which we are blessed to be standing.

The photograph above was taken by Maureen Gallatin; I am shown getting to know her beautiful horse, Calvin. Maureen attended the Centered Riding Instructor's clinic in North Carolina this past weekend where I had been invited by Susan Harris (Level IV Senior Centered Riding Instructor) to supply the Alexander Technique component of the program in addition to participating as a student rider for the CR instructors to practice their teaching skills. Maureen's website is Inspired By Horses, and she believes that horses have the potential to inspire and enoble us with their own natural nobility.

As I drove back towards Charlotte after my weekend of immersion in CR, I felt that I had received true grace in my experiences during those three days. Just as an Aikido dojo (place of practice) is considered a sacred space where learning and experimentation unfold under the watchful eye of a Sensei (master teacher), assisted by the senior students, I felt a similar atmosphere in the riding arena -- that it was a laboratory of learning and acceptance. And I felt truly seen and acknowledged and regarded as a precious gem, or maybe as a precious infant -- with potential recognized and nurtured and protected.

The people I am meeting through Centered Riding are so very impressive in their dedication to teaching and learning without ego and their obvious love and respect for individuals, the horse and for the relationship between horse and rider. In addition, they express a beautiful balance between dedication to serious and complete education and a lighthearted sense of humor which permeates these clinics and makes them so joyous!

I am honored to have found this community so early in my riding experience and I am quite at peace knowing that each Centered Riding Clinic strives to create a sacred space where we can all explore Sally Swift's work in a safe, supportive and non-judgmental atmosphere.

the dream

2007-09-29T19:57:00.001-04:00

poised, connected, suspended

intimately aware of my horse's being
we are an entity, united in an endeavor
joined with a purpose in common
I become a neutral channel
Heaven's energy pours down through me
Earth's force rises, supporting us from below
blending somewhere, somehow, deeply in our core
it is touch-and-go, moment-to-moment
moment-by-moment
bliss